The Reason
by Miss Mustang
Summary: AU. For years NYPD Detective Katniss Everdeen had lived only for her and her sister's survival. She had structured routines and avoided "feelings". But when a lively eighteen year old, a pair blue eyes and 'the Hunger Games case' manage to turn her life upside down; she finds that there are much better reasons to live for.
1. Chapter 1

**The Reason  
**

Chapter One

* * *

_'Are you, are you, coming to the tree._

_ Where the dead man called out for his love to flee'._

_The words from my father's favorite ditty send a shudder down my spine. There was no way he could have possibly known exactly how prophetic it would turn out to be. But I suppose, I'll be able to tell him soon enough. _

_I can't feel the pain, but I can see the warm blood seeping through my fingers as they press firmly into the gunshot wound. My vision is becoming blurry and the voices around me seem to be a jumbled and distant. I know it won't be long till I lose consciousness. My silver eyes flicker to the people in front of me. I have to make a move. I have to shoot. Because there will be no reason to live, if they don't make it out of here alive. _

_My right hand shakes as I raise my gun and I whimper pitifully as it occurs to me that this all started only fourteen days ago with the same pretty primrose and set of brilliant blue eyes._

* * *

_Fourteen Days Ago..._

**_15:40 Monday – Harlem, New York_**

"Katniss!" My sister Primrose yells excitedly as she barges through the front door. I listen as she pads through our cosy New York apartment and into the kitchen before I glance up from the paper and meet her bright blue eyes. A smile makes its way onto my face as I note the giant grin on hers.

"Hey Prim! What's made your day?" I ask.

"I've got a job!" She cries in response, as she twirls around the room ecstatically. "I just can't believe it! I have a job!"

My mouth drops open in shock. "What? What about school?" I stammer, confused by her sudden change in priorities. My younger sister has never expressed the desire to do anything other than get good enough grades to qualify for medical school and she didn't say a word about having an interview. What on earth has brought this on?

My beauty queen of a sister spins around to face me. "I'm not quitting school Katniss," she sighs as she rolls her eyes.

"Oh, a part-time job," I state as relief floods through my body. "You know, you don't need to work…"

My younger sister sits down opposite me. "I know I don't need to Katniss," Prim tells me gently, sensing, accurately, that I was on edge. "But it's got so boring! Now that you work night shift I have so many spare hours and there is only so much studying I can do."

_So boring? So boring!_ How I wish I could find time to be bored. "I told you that you can have Rory around," I mutter but it sounds like an excuse.

"And I love spending time with Rory," Prim responds with a little bit too much enthusiasm. "But there are only so many movies you can watch… and I really want to do this, I'll be helping out at the R.N.R clinic."

I choke on my drink. "Where all the street kids go," I splutter.

Prim glares at me in response and I instantly feel terrible for saying it. I sigh. I didn't mean to upset her, I just don't see things the same way she does. My glass is never half full.

I sigh inwardly; I have no right to judge the place. It really wasn't that long ago that we had needed the free services that the R.N.R clinic provides.

The hard times had started with the death of my father when I was fourteen. It was the same day I lost my mother. She sunk into depression and never completely came back. For a couple of years it had looked particularly bleak. Prim and I weren't far off starving to death, our teachers had made reports to the police, and the debt collectors were knocking on the door.

_Hope_, put us back on track and amazingly we made it to my eighteenth birthday. That was the day my mother was put into the hospice, the day I filled out the papers to keep Prim, and the day I joined the New York Police Department.

Eight years have passed since that day and now I am quite settled in the rank of Detective-Investigator. I'd be lying if I said it was my skill and smarts alone that got me my position. I had help, and amazing amount of luck. There is a lot to be said about being in the right place at the right time. My work, however, does not help improve my outlook on society.

Sighing, I walk across the apartment to my sister's room. My lips twitch up as I find her leaning over her human biology book, an intense look of concentration on her face. I always feel lighter in her room. The walls are adorned with hundreds of photos of happy times and bright yellow curtains hang from the window. It reflects her personality perfectly and it leaves me contemplating my own: my room is as plain as it was the day we moved in.

"Prim," I start but she interrupts me before I can find the right words.

"You know it's not that bad," she reasons logically, while staring up at me with her giant, pleading, puppy dog eyes. "And the money I earn can go towards my medical school fund. And I get some experience doing what I love!"

I don't reply but instead look at the ugly grey cat, Buttercup that is glaring at me cat from his perch on Prim's lap. He is looking at me so intently that I can almost read his thoughts: _She moves – I attack your ankles… kapeesh?_

I scowl back at the stupid thing. _I can still drown you._

In truth my mental struggle with Buttercup is just a distraction from weight that dropped on my shoulders at the mention of medical school. Even though I adore her I wish she would slow down… could we just get through this week for a start, then we can talk about the month, and then perhaps the year?

My phone starts vibrating in my pocket and I rush out of my thoughts. "When do you start," I ask Prim, distracted by my partner's number which is flashing on the front of my cell.

"Tomorrow," she replies, some of her earlier giddiness returning.

"I'm coming with you then. I want to see this place and meet the people you are working with." I tell her with a small frown as my phone continues to ring. I leave her room and slide my finger across my phone. "Hi Gale," I mutter, slightly distracted by the task of finding my handbag.

"We're needed in Clinton. 609 West 46th Street. Big warehouse," he tells me quickly.

"Be there in ten," I tell him as I hop around pulling on my boot awkwardly. I hang up the phone and grab my coat, keys and and handbag. "Prim, I've got to go. I'm locking you in, call and tell Hazelle that you are here alone please."

Hazelle, Gale's mother, is probably the only family friend that Prim and I have left. Gale's father had been a work colleague of my father and he and his kind wife had been there for us the first few years after the accident. I always wonder if my mother would have eventually got better with their help, but I will never know because Mr Hawthorne was a volunteer fire-fighter and sadly he never made it out of the second tower. To Hazelle's credit, she didn't slip away like my mother did. She went out and found a job and reared her children on her own. To this day I respect her for it; even though it meant she had to leave Prim and me to survive on our own.

"I will, but Rory is coming over anyway. We have midterms coming up" She informs me and I notice the slight change in pitch for the second time this afternoon. I make a mental note to have a chat with my little sister about Rory Hawthorne later.

"See you later little duck" I call as I walk out the door, locking it behind me.

* * *

**_16:28 Monday – Clinton, NY_**

"You look like crap," I comment when I walk up to Gale who is leaning on his car outside the giant warehouse. He looks absolutely exhausted. His iron eyes are droopy and bloodshot and olive skin looked paler than usual. I silently wonder what time he actually left the Precinct this morning.

"Charming as always Catnip," he says in reply with a smile that would make most girls swoon. "What's got your panties in a twist?"

"Midterms, Rory, medical school, college, jobs, clinics... just to list a few," I mumble in response. We walk up to the old building and climb under the police tape, flashing our badges at the uniformed officers.

Gale chuckles. "She's growing up," he notes as we are directed towards the back of the building. He knows that I am still coming to terms with the fact that my little sister is getting older.

"I know," I sigh. "She keeps reminding me. She came home today and said she had a job in the clinic just around the corner from where we live. The one where…" I trail off thinking that Gale and his siblings probably visited there when they were younger too. I sigh, "why can't she just apply at McDonald's like everyone else?"

Gale chuckles at me; and I think I see him roll his eyes. "She'll be fine Katniss. Peeta Mellark runs that place these days. He'll keep her out of trouble."

_Peeta Mellark_. I say the name quietly trying hard to come up with an image. Finding none I look at Gale "Who is Mellark?" I inquire, feeling as though I really should know the answer to this.

He regards me with mild surprise, "You remember, he went to high school with us, the Baker's son, nice guy really… he is still friends with Madge."

I stopped listening the moment Gale says _Baker's. _My heart clenches as I remember the twelve year old boy with blue eyes and a fresh red mark on his face, pushing a paper bag filled with warm bread rolls into my hands without saying a word. The boy with the bread…

My thoughts trail off as we walk into the scene of the crime. I am instantly disheartened by the sight. A teenage boy, no older than fifteen, is lying face down in a pool of his own blood with a butcher's knife in his back. It never really gets easier – finding the dead. I look at Gale and sigh.

"It's going to be a long night."

* * *

**_03:00 Tuesday – 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

It's the early hours of the morning when Police Commissioner Paylor, who is making her monthly rounds through the bureaus, tells us to go home. Until the autopsy report and DNA come back we are all out of leads. There was no missing persons report, no witnesses, and seemingly no friends. I silently wonder if this would have been my fate. "If it hadn't been for the bread," I mumble.

Pulling my bag out of my locker I take a moment to look at myself in the small mirror. I am unimpressed to see that I don't look much better than Gale did earlier. Sighing, I carefully close the metal door and spin the lock. I let my subconscious guide me down the hall as I mull over the memory of the bread.

Just as I hit the button for the lift, I hear my name.

"Everdeen!"

I look back towards the paunchy, middle-aged man whose scruffy hair almost covered his eyes and wonder, as I often do, how the hell he managed to get so far up the ranks with his total disregard for his appearance. Then I remember how good he is at his job.

As chief of the Detective Bureau the man is my direct boss, and he's a good one. He is intelligent and intuitive and perhaps most importantly, he knows how to win over politicians, businessmen and the higher ranking police officers. I also know for a fact that underneath the hard-ass image he portrays expertly, he has a pretty good heart.

Unfortunately, he also has a tendency to piss me off. I tried to convince Gale once that it was because he was an ass, at least, when he was trying to be. Gale had countered saying it was because we were too much alike. The bruise on Gales arm was there for a week. Still, even though I will never admit it to my partner, I can see the similarities.

"Chief," I snap, annoyed that he had managed to catch me before I got out of the building.

"Door," he states coolly, ignoring my tone, actually pretty much ignoring me all together.

I kick the door shut. "Closed," I growl.

The chief looks up from the pile of paper work in front of him and sighs. That's when I realize that this was not our usual Everdeen versus Abernathy _debate_, but a Katniss and Haymitch conversation. He eyes me with concern and I once again see the detective I met almost ten years ago when I was still desperately trying to survive.

It was long after midnight in East Village – not really a safe time or place for a 16 year old girl. I didn't know he was following me as I did my rounds. I delivered papers all night long during those days just to make ends meet. And when he knocked on the door of our apartment at three in the morning I nearly took him out with my father's old hunting rifle.

"I don't want you on this one," he tells me honestly after a moment of silence.

I sigh and sit down. "I'm fine… I'm a cop… and there will always be kids."

"It's too soon," he says, holding my gaze, "you're already _distracted._"

I laugh, "That's because Prim has up and got herself a job," I reply. "It's been years. I'm an adult now Hay…Sir."

I'm aware that Abernathy sees me the same way I see Prim. I will always be the frightened sixteen year old pointing a gun at him, begging him not to take my sister and screaming at him to leave us alone.

He scowls obviously annoyed that I have passed his mental test, "fine, but if this gets as bad as I think it will… you're off the case."

I want to roll my eyes but I respect him too much for that much insolence. His words had me thinking: how bad did he think it would get?

His expression abruptly changes. "Get out of my office," he orders looking annoyed with himself. I frown knowing that again my expression was, once again, giving away too much.

* * *

**_15:27 Tuesday – Harlem, NY_**

"Katniss, wake up!" The words startle me out of my sleep. I yawn and roll over onto my side, only to realize that I was in the living room. Ugh. I slept on the couch again! I sigh promising from probably the thousandth time that I would attempt to sleep in my room tomorrow.

"What time is it?" I mumble, feeling a little dazed.

"3:30 pm" She replies, "I'm about to go to work, I know you said you wanted to come…"

Suddenly I am wide awake and staring at the excited grin on my sister's face. "Primrose… you could have at least given me some time to get ready," I splutter. I get up and begin to rush around, madly trying to make myself look half decent.

"Katniss?" Prim questions after a moment, and I stop to look at her. Her pretty face was regarding me with confusion. "Since when do you… _get ready_?" she asked pronouncing the last two words slowly, making the point that they were foreign.

I stand still wasting valuable minutes while I think about the question. Since when do I get ready? It is a good question… I never get ready… I mean I am always clean and presentable but I don't exactly put a lot of time into my appearance. Braided hair, jeans, shirt, boots – my wardrobe. And sure enough when I look in the mirror I already have most of these things. Given my braid was a bit loose from sleeping and I was wearing my work pants not jeans, and my boots had been kicked off by the door when I got home last night.

"I, I don't know," I stutter, "It doesn't matter, just let me find my jeans, and I'll clean my teeth."

We were ready and out the door five minutes later. Despite having doused myself with perfume I still feel as though I should have had a shower, and possibly re-braided my hair. I look at my little sister who was watching me with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

"What?" I ask flatly.

She grins in response. She always has known me better that I know myself.

We walk up a block to the clinic that took up the large corner unit. I'm not sure why, but it looks more inviting now than when we were younger. I think it's been repainted.

"So who should I talk to about this job," I ask Prim as we approach the building, "you're not eighteen, surely you can't be around all these drugs and things."

She shrugs, "The doctor who hired me said that I could just start keeping the younger children entertained and comfortable you know, at least until I had permission from my guardian…" she trails off looking at me sheepishly.

"You told the doctor that I wouldn't agree!" _Great._ What sort of _guardian_ doesn't want her over-achieving, heart-of-gold sister to not have the opportunity to chase her dreams?

"Not exactly, I just said that my guardian might not like it," she replies diplomatically.

And she is spot on: I don't like it. But she knows better than anyone that I can't say no to her, as long as she is safe. She is far too smart to ask for anything that she doesn't really want or need. "Does the doctor have a name?" I sigh as we walk through the large glass automatic doors.

"Doctor Mellark?" She queries and, all of a sudden, her brow furrows. "Is that why you suddenly need to _get ready?_" she asks slyly just as my eyes find his.

They are bright blue, just how I remember them, and I choose to ignore my sister's question even though I can't help but think that she was spot on, again.

I fight the blush and concentrate on breathing as he walks over to us. I haven't seen him in nine years and they have been kind to him. Not that Peeta has ever been anything other than attractive. He was always 'that boy' at school; the one who could make any girl's day with a smile.

My eyes roam the striking man. He is taller than I remember with broad shoulders and the muscular build of an athlete. He still has fair skin (though it is slightly more tanned) and his ashy blonde locks still fall in waves over his forehead till just above his stunning blue eyes. I feel the blush win as I am caught staring and marvel at the air of confidence radiating from him as he sends me a knowing half smile. _Damn_, he is absolutely drop-dead gorgeous!

"Good Afternoon," he says politely to Prim and me.

Prim is practically bursting with excitement as she greets him. She begins babbling about how thrilled she is; only stopping when Peeta's eyes flicker to me.

"Oh, this is Katniss, my sister and guardian; you know each other already right? From school?" She quizzes, but she doesn't give us time to reply. "Oh and it's okay, I've got permission, I mean, Katniss said I can work here."

Did I? I look at my sister's pleading look. No I did not. I look between her and the doctor and feel my resolve ebb away. Who am I kidding, I'm not going to be able to say no, not now.

My inner turmoil must show because he is reading my expression carefully. "That's good news," he tells to her with a sincere smile. "Well then if you want to start Portia, the head nurse you met yesterday, is over at the triage counter. She will no doubt have a job for you."

I feel fear churn in my stomach as I watch my sister practically run to the nurses' station. I turn back to the man that she has left me with. Our eyes lock. "So do I call you Doctor, Peeta?" I ask slightly unsure of where we stood. Did he even remember me? This is absurd – why am I so nervous.

He laughs. It's rich and real and I can't help but smile. Haymitch would be impressed – he is certain that I wear a scowl in my sleep. "Peeta is fine," he reassures me.

"I um, Prim said there is some paper work that I need to sign?" I can feel the heat in my cheeks again. What is going on? I don't blush! And I certainly don't _get ready_. Ugh. I don't even want to be here!

Mirth shines brightly in his eyes and for a moment I wonder if I am voicing my opinion.

"So you are actually all right with this?" Peeta asks, his eyes softening. He seems to know how hard this is for me…

Then it hits me…_ of course he knows._ He was witness to the worst times, and probably watched as I dragged the two of us back from the dead. He would have heard the whispers of black eyes dealt for looking twice at Primrose Everdeen. He would have seen me leave the seniors so that I could watch over her at lunch, to make sure she ate, to make sure she was happy, to make sure she was safe. I tighten my grip on the strap of my handbag.

"Yes, it's fine," I sigh feeling slightly deflated. I can't say no to Prim and I definitely can't say no to him. I owe him, and _he knows_.

Peeta nods and smiles as though he can tell what I'm thinking before gesturing towards an office down the hall. "Come on then, we had better get you to sign all the paper work before you change your mind."

He and I sit down opposite each other at his desk and he places the paperwork between us. I am impressed as he reads though it with me, explaining any medical jargon. He is patient with my questions and chuckles at the couple of threats I throw in for good measure. All in all, the whole_ meeting_ is quite comfortable.

"I am deadly serious though, if anything happens to her… I will be after blood."

"I don't doubt it," he laughs lightly. He leans back in his seat and looks straight into my eyes. "Katniss, I will make sure that she is safe, I won't put her in any dangerous situations, Primrose will be my responsibility when she is here."

I sit back in my seat, relief coursing through me. It bothers me because I don't ever feel relieved when it comes to my sister. I study his features thinking that he always did have a way with words.

I decide to ignore all of it for a moment and try to start a conversation, not exactly a strength of mine, but it was better than gawking at him. "I didn't think you would ship off to college. I was surprised when your mother told me you weren't at the bakery anymore" I blush slightly (again!) when I think of that day, the day when I had finally found the nerve to go and say thank you, only to find it was too late.

"I still bake sometimes," he admits honestly. "But I didn't really want to stay with my mother after my brothers up and got married, and Dad left. And I enjoy being a doctor, I can actually help these kids…Prim said that you are a detective these days."

I choose to ignore the pause in his monologue and nod in response, "I signed up when I was eighteen. I wanted to help, I guess like you, but I also really needed something to be able to support Prim." I met his eyes again. They are just so blue.

I'm not sure how long we sat there in the peaceful silence; I didn't even realize that the minutes had passed until my phone begins to ring. I blink with surprise and, disappointment, as the moment came to an end. It didn't even need to look at my cell to know it was work.

"I'm sorry, duty calls and all that," I mumble.

He grins. "You are welcome here anytime, even if it just to threaten me," he tells me with a wink.

I can't help but smile back at him. How many was that now? Haymitch wouldn't believe it!

I answer the phone which is still ringing as I rush out of the clinic glancing back to see the handsome doctor watch me go with his warm smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Reason**

Chapter Two

* * *

_****__16:50 Tuesday - Central Park, NY_

_Click_. The sound of my car doors locking startles me out of my daydream. I stare ahead of me at the stunning scene that is Central Park. I groan wondering why the scum of the city had to continually desecrate my favourite place in this giant, crazy metropolis. The beautiful city escape with its tree lined paths, open grassed fields and its magnificent blue lake had become my haven after my father died. It was the only place that I would really just let go... the place where I would go to cry, to think, and sometimes just to breathe.

"Hiya Catnip" Gales says with a smile, interrupting my thoughts. He is standing in the shade of a tree, his hands stuffed in his pockets and I'm pleased to see that he seems to have slept today.

"Hi" I reply shortly as I push the Starbucks Cappuccino, which I had picked up on the way, into his hands. My attention is instantly drawn to my phone which has just been sent the directions to the crime scene. Turning slowly, I get my bearings and begin to head down the concrete footpath. It takes me a moment to realize that my partner has not fallen in step, and was still standing where I had first greeted him, staring at the coffee. "What's wrong with you?" I call to him.

"I didn't think you knew that I liked Coffee…" Gale mumbles, giving me a strange look. He pauses a moment, his eyes darting between me and the coffee. "Are you getting some or something?"

The mouthful of tea that had just swallowed caught in my throat at his words. "Gale!" I cry at him indignantly as I consider the consequences of throwing the hot drink at his head. I frown when I see that my reply seems to have encouraged his curiosity. Ugh!

"Oh come on Kat, we're all grown up now!" He informs me with a cheeky grin and sparkle in his eye. "You can tell me! Who is the lucky guy that made it into Miss Independent's bedroom?"

If a look could kill, Gale would be dead. Unfortunately, it can't so I have to give him a dead arm instead. It annoys me when he laughs happily in response to the violence while I am left to try to ignore the pain that is shooting through my knuckles.

"I'm going to forget that you said that" I growl at him becoming infinitely more irritated as his chuckling continues. We walk down a service road and around the back of some gardener's sheds. "Quiet back here" I note, dropping the previous subject.

Gale nods in reply then stops suddenly. I follow his gaze and cringe when my eyes fall on the scene. A teenage girl, maybe 13, was sprawled out on the ground with blood pooled around her. Her stomach has a slice beginning at the top of her ribs and ending at her right hip. She was white as a ghost, border line blue and I hear the medical examiner say something about yesterday.

"Oh god" I whisper while staring at the poor child. I sigh inwardly. That's two kids I've attended in just over 24 hours… I frown as I think back to Abernathy's warning and how there seemed to be photos of kids all over the current cases board. My breath catches and I have to grab Gale to stop myself from toppling over.

I didn't have look at him, he had figured it out as well. "Happy Hunger Games…" He drawled quietly.

"May the odds be ever in your favor" I finish in barely a whisper.

* * *

**_20:04hrs – 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

Three hours later I sat at my desk vaguely aware of the mayhem occurring around me. Officers, uniformed and not, were racing around as the body count increased. The first day was always the worst, and it had already passed so now it was a matter of finding all the bodies.

I stare at the screen in front of me, vaguely aware that it was still searching. Looking at the photo of the dead girl I wonder if her parents would even care. The game-makers always pick the most desperate kids, the ones that had almost nothing left. I shudder as I remember the woman with a green mohawk who had approached me all those years ago, asking if I wanted to put a tiny slip of paper in the bowl for the five hundred dollars that she held in her hand. I remember thinking how far I could have made the money go. I would have said yes if the aroma of freshly baked bread hadn't been wafting out of the bag in my arms. I sigh – I will never stop owing Peeta Mellark.

My computer bleeps and begins to flash indicating that it's found a match. "Oi" I say as I throw a pencil at Gale who is sitting at his desk only a meter from mine looking just as dazed as I feel. He seems to struggle his way out of a memory and, for a moment, I wonder if he ever put his name in the bowl to feed his family.

"This kid has open medical records" I say while flicking through the pages; apparently she had been assaulted earlier in the year. I feel sort of bad for labeling her 'this kid' but somehow it is easier than using her name. _Disassociation_ was the word that the police shrink had used when I explained this to him. The thought makes me cringe: I haven't been back for my six month 'check-up'. I have nothing against Dr Aurelius, I just loathe talking and I really only went in the first place because it's compulsory to go after you shoot someone in the line of duty.

"I'll get my coat" He replies absently. "You got the address?"

I shake myself out of my thoughts and look at the name and address of the doctor. "Crap" I mutter.

"It's the clinic" Gale says knowingly. He looks at the computer and then back at me. I can tell that my expression is giving me away again and I scowl as he raises an eyebrow suggestively. "Mellark hey…"

"I'm not sleeping with anyone!" I shout at him. _Great_, now the whole bureau has stopped and is staring at me. I glare at Gale who looks as if Christmas has come early. "We're going to the Clinic" I growl at Abernathy as I stomp out of the room.

"Nice to know sweetheart" He laughs in reply and I can't really tell which comment he is talking about.

* * *

**_22:00 Tuesday – R.N.R Clinic, NY_**

The silver hands on my watch indicate that it is ten o'clock when we finally arrive at the clinic. It doesn't surprise me that it is still open. I imagine that most of the clientele would come in under the cover of darkness knowing that not only would they receive medicine but a meal and a safe place to sleep. I certainly used the place as a refuge on the nights when I had been desperate to get away from my mother's broken sobs.

"Prim here?" Gale questions, his words breaking through my haunted memories as we walked up the side walk towards the entrance.

I consider not replying. I haven't talked to him since we left the precinct. I sigh; he is just too hard to stay angry at. "No, she just does three hours after school." I reply coolly, letting him know that he was still in the black. "She only started today, I was here earlier".

As soon as we enter, we stop dead in our tracks, awed by the sight. The place was absolutely packed with people. I catch Gales eyes and see my own surprise mirrored in the silver pools. He shrugs at me and says something that I don't quite catch. I look around again and understand what Gale was pointing out: the majority of the people in the room were just kids. The thought makes me cringe - it appears that not much has changed.

I am so startled by the number and array of people that it takes a moment for me to notice the effect that Gale and I were having. The room had hushed and everyone was watching us warily. It was as though the word c_op_ was printed on our foreheads.

"Katniss?" Peeta's steady voice cuts through the uncomfortable silence that had fallen over the waiting room. I found his amazing blue eyes and I suddenly didn't know what to say. Confusion and concern shone in them and it seemed selfish to take a moment of his time – hunger games or not.

"How you going Doc" Gale asks politely; something that I hadn't seem to be able to do. "We just need a minute, but we can come back if you like"

"A minute is all I've got" He replies honestly as he waves us over. "Just wait in the office – I've just got to finish up with this patient. I watch as he disappears back into the room that he must have come out of. He must have noticed how quiet the waiting room had become. As we walked into the small office I heard the buzz of noise return to the room behind us. I silently hoped that no-one left because of our presence. I know that the arrival of the police would have been enough to send me running out of there; verge of death or not.

"Not good for business are we" Gale mutters before dropping into the seat I had sat in earlier.

"No, we probably shouldn't have come. I didn't realize it got this busy here, it was never this flat out when I was a kid…"

"Nah but no one liked old Cray – crazy mother fucker that doctor was" Gale reasons.

I thought about this as I made myself comfortable leaning against the tall metal filing cabinets. "So you think they're all here because of Peeta" I say, voicing my thinking.

"All the doctors – Mellark, Cresta, Odair, Cinna and Chaff - are supposed to be of the decent sort" Gale says. "Even the nurses, Portia and Octavia, have a good reputation with the kids"

I look at him carefully unsure of when he became an expert on the R.N.R Clinic. "You know an awful lot about this" I comment as I catch his eye.

"I still go down to the soup kitchen twice a month" He explains, "Took a while, but they've started to open up a bit. The clinic is a safe topic for the kids. They like talking about their 'war wounds' and how well the doctors patch them up. Apparently Dr Cresta always gives them cookies, Dr Odair can make them laugh, even if they have broken bones, and Dr Cinna lets them dress up in his spare coat and stethoscope."

I stare at Gale my mouth slightly agape. "And Mellark?" I probe after I recover from the initial shock of the whole scenario.

He chuckles. "They like him the best, apparently he tells them the most amazing stories."

We smile at each other.

"Well I must say I am impressed Gale Hawthorne" I say after a moment. "I'm not sure as I picked you as the volunteering sort"

"It was Madge who dragged me along at the start. It sort of just grew on me though. You get to know the kids and they get to know that cops aren't as bad as they think."

"They know you're a cop?" I blurt out in honest surprise.

He nods, his dark hair falling in his steel eyes and once again I notice how similar our features are. "I figured it was better to be honest."

"You were right" Peeta agreed as he walks into the room. He is carrying a plate of sandwiches which he places in front of us. "Sorry, but I probably won't be able to get away again. Help yourself" He says as he bites into the food.

Gale grabs for one but I politely decline. "Sorry to take up your time, we we're just wondering if you had anything else on this kid." I shove the papers that I had printed off in front of him.

"I remember this one – Jane" He says after a moment. I cringe, instantly feeling horrible when Peeta says her name, he is a much better person that I am. Gale and I watch quietly as the doctor skims through the pages quickly, at least, until he comes across the picture of her that was taken in the morgue. He freezes, clenching the picture in his hands as he looks at her pale, still face. He puts his sandwich down and sighs looking defeated. "I'm not sure if I am going to be able to help you."

Gale smiles sadly. "It's always a long shot" He says his voice laced with empathy. "We were just hoping that you might know something about where she stayed, who she hung around with?"

Peeta rubs his temples and closes his eyes. "There was a boy who brought her in, said he didn't know her that well but I got the impression that he was rather taken with her." He turns on his computer "I'll see if I made any extra notes, for you to have it I must have flagged it as non-private so there's a chance."

We waited quietly for the computer to load. "Sorry, it's pretty slow, I always use the one in the consultation room." He explains as he finishes off one sandwich only to grab another.

I nod, not sure what else to say. The two of them were eating and conversation isn't exactly my strong suit. Gale shifts beside me and I find myself thanking a deity that he always comes to my rescue. He pulls the picture of the boy out of his pocket. "You didn't happen to know this one as well?"

I note that Gale _dissociate_s as easily as I do. It makes me feel slightly better.

"God" Peeta says when faced with the picture of another dead teenager. He shakes his head, "I don't know this one – how did they die?"

"Stabbed" Gale says after a moment's hesitation "That one anyway, the girl was sliced…"

Peeta shakes his head sadly. I could tell that he was thinking about how unfair it was. How these kids who often start with terrible home lives would learn to survive only to be sliced open in the games. Hang on? How could he possibly know that?

"How do you know about the Hunger Games?" I blurt out the question before thinking it through. Of course he doesn't know about the games _you idiot_. Gale spins around and glares at me but before he can scold me for my lack of discretion, we are interrupted by the strangled cry from our host.

The handsome man seems to be choking on the sandwich he had been eating. "Those things are real?" He chokes out his eyes filled with horror.

Gale instantly sits up in his seat. "How do you know about the games?" He asks in a single breath.

Peeta looks devastated by Gales reply. "There is someone you need to meet." He says urgently as he stands and motions for us to follow. "I honestly didn't believe her" Peeta explains as we walk down the hall towards the back rooms. "I figured she had been drugged and was hallucinating so I said she could stay the night and planned to talk to her in the morning."

When we come to a stop outside a door I grab Doctor Mellark's arm. "Wait!" I order. My plans to ask who she was are lost as I become distracted by the firmness of his muscular arm and the warmth of his skin. It takes me too long to recover and I earn a small smirk from Gale. "Wh-what exactly did she tell you?" I force out trying to ignore all other thoughts and feelings; including the temptation to punch my dark-haired counterpart in the face.

"That she had been picked as a tribute for the Hunger Games" He responds, his voice laced with sorrow. "The poor girl was so worked up, but I managed to make out that the other tributes were meant to kill her, and that she needed to hide until all the others had died. She said if she could do that then she would get the prize money? Then suddenly she was bawling her eyes out, crying that she had only put her name in for the money. She was so worried that her family would get hurt because she couldn't bear to kill anyone... It took me nearly an hour to get her settled. It was lucky that it wasn't so busy when she came in"

I stood in silence, mulling over his words. This was pretty much how I was told it would go. The Hunger Games were somewhat of a legend back at the precinct. The old timers loved to scare the young uniforms with their stories of the erratic pattern in which they occur, making them impossible to predict, and how the mastermind is supposed to be a psychotic serial killer who hides in plain sight amongst the wealthier citizens of New York.

"Are you alright with us taking her to the station" Gale asked quietly.

Peeta nods letting out a shaky breath before knocking quietly on the wooden door. "Rue" he calls calmly as he opens the door. A dark haired little girl jumps out of bed obviously surprised to be disturbed. She dashes towards the door, trying to escape. Gale blocks the way and grabs for her but she jumps out of his reach and turns towards the window. "Hey, it's alright" Peeta coos as he catches her and pulls her into his embrace. "You're still at the clinic little one."

As she cries into his shoulder I feel my heart breaking.

"These are friends of mine" He tells her as he sits her down on the bed. "This is Katniss and Gale" He says, pointing to each of us as he speaks.

Some sort of recognition crosses her face as she studies me with her pretty doe eyes. "Is she the one who sings" She asks after a moment.

Everything suddenly feels awkward. I look at Gale who is looking at me with mirrored confusion; however, while I intend my eyes to read 'what the?' his eyes just ask the question 'you sing?'. I just shrug and look at Peeta who doesn't really look awkward at all. He smiles and sits on a swivel stool in front of the bed, his back to us.

"Yes," He answers as he fusses over her. He takes her temperature and blood pressure.

"Do the birds really stop to listen?" She asks me after a moment.

I feel all color fade from my face. Of all the things this little girl could have said to me, nothing could have disarmed me more. "I, I haven't sung anything in such a long time" I admit. Not since my father died...

"Well you should" Rue informs me matter-of-factly while Peeta checks her eyes.

"Rue here can talk to the birds" Peeta explains as he continues to makes notes.

"No I can't" Rue sighs in exasperation as though she had told him so numerous times. "Some birds will echo me if I whistle to them, that's all. That's when he told me that the birds stopped to listen when you sing."

The explanation helps a little and I am able to recover from the absolute breathlessness I'm experiencing.

I watch as Rue looks between Gale and myself for a moment seemingly sizing us up. "Are you the police?" She asks.

Gale smiles at this, before answering kindly. "We are"

The girl turns away and looks straight at Peeta, "You said you wouldn't tell" Rue whispers but there is no anger or accusation in her tone.

He gives her the most charming smile. "Will you ever forgive me?" He asks lightly as he pulls her to her feet.

"Maybe" She tells him with a small smile and a sparkle in her eye. "Do I have to go with them?"

He looks at us and then back at her. "I think it's a good idea, don't you?"

She nods and then reaches up for a hug which he gives her. "Thanks Doctor Mellark."

It takes me a good minute before I realize that this is what she had wanted all along. She had just needed someone she trusted, an adult she trusted, to tell her what the right thing to do was. I find myself smiling sadly at Gale as she walks over and takes my hand. I look down at her and she smiles up at me, relief flooding her features.

"Thank you" Gale says as he shakes Peeta's hand.

"I'll let you know if I hear anything else" The doctor tells him quietly.

"If you can keep it quiet – we can't let the press get a hold of this" Gale states with a small frown.

Peeta nods sadly "I understand"

* * *

**_06:27 Wednesday – On Route  
_**

It's daylight when I finally finish up at the station.

The interview with Rue had gone better than we could have even imagined. Abernathy almost hugged us when we she handed over the SD card with the pictures of all the tributes. I know he is determined to save as many of them as he can and, thanks to us, the odds are improving.

I scoff down the rest of my horrible watery tea as I hop into my silver police fleet car. Before I left the office I had volunteered to stop off at the clinic on my way home to ask if they knew any other the other children. I _almost_ shot Gale when he told Haymitch that I only put my hand up because I was sleeping with the doctor in charge. He really has a bit of a death wish these days.

Red lights are a trend as I drive through the city and I find myself constantly shifting gears as the peak hour traffic keeps the pace a crawl, that is, until I gave in to my impatience, stick the attachable police light to the roof and make myself a path through the sea of cars. This isn't exactly acceptable behavior and, if it is noted, I will receive a slap on the wrist from my superiors. But right at this moment the satisfaction of suddenly being a block away from my destination drowns out my nagging conscious. As I approach the clinic I turn off everything and take the siren down and turn into a side street to park.

"Good morning!" A deep amorous voice cries upon my entrance to the building. I jump and spin to look towards the triage. I don't know what I expected but it certainly wasn't that! The man who had spoken is _hot_, like _unbelievably hot_. He had smooth golden skin, styled bronze hair and a god-like body and I can't stop myself gawking. It takes me more time than I will admit to recover.

"Hel-lo" I stammer when I finally manage to speak.

"How can I help?" He asks with a grin. I get the impression that he is quite pleased that he managed to render me speechless.

"Is Peeta, I mean, is Doctor Mellark still here?" I inquire. Abernathy had been pretty adamant that we don't let anyone else in on the Hunger Games until absolutely necessary.

"Peeta-" He says smoothly making me blush "-won't be back till this evening gorgeous"

"Oh" I mumble feeling slightly disappointed. Confusion follows as I weigh up the reasons for feeling disappointed. I blush - the scales were tipping towards 'staring in those bright blue eyes' instead of 'hunger games questioning'.

The man, who was most certainly a doctor here, was regarding me with a smile. "But, I hardly doubt that he'll mind if I give you his address" He says after a moment. I feel the blush deepen as his eyes slip down my body. "No he certainly won't mind" He adds with a wink.

As I watch the attractive man write the details down on the piece of paper I realize that I don't even know who he is.

"Finnick Odair" He says suddenly as if reading my thoughts, "Doctor Finnick Odair – that's who sent you. Don't call him, just go round - he won't be as sexy if you let him get ready."

What? I stare at him feeling my face burn crimson and I wonder if there was any way I could have possibly prepared myself for that comment. He beams at me "Well don't just stand there – doctor's orders – off you go"

I look at the paper in my hands. "Katniss" I say suddenly, "My name is Katniss"

Finnick grins "I know who you are" He laughs "Bout time you chased after him."

* * *

_**07:03 Wednesday - Astoria NY**_

I stand awkwardly at the door of Peeta's apartment wishing that I called. _Really_ wishing I had called. I hope that Finnick doesn't repeat that conversation! _Damn it_, I should have called first! I consider leaving but the thought of little Rue gets me back on track and I am able to work up the courage to rap on the door. It frustrates me that he doesn't answer straight away. I repeat the process and bang on his door twice more.

It isn't until he opens the door, shirtless and drowsy, that I realize exactly how selfish I was being. My jaw slackens as I notice his tousled hair, muscular chest and how his trousers hang low on his hips. Finnick's words run though my head and I feel myself blush. He certainly is _sexy_.

"Katniss?" He questions, regarding me with a dazed expression.

"I am so sorry, this is really stupid, I just need someone to look at these pictures but I… I didn't think you'd be asleep which is ridiculous because I know you worked last night!" The words kept on rolling as my face flushed "I just wasn't thinking, I just, Finnick sent me here." I stop abruptly at the sound of him laughing.

"I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when _you_ met _Finn_ick" He chuckles and he opens the door wider waving me in, as if Finnick's name alone is explanation enough for my presence.

My face is practically radiating heat as I duck past him, trying to avoid catching his eye, or staring at his bare chest or muscular arms, or broad shoulders… _oh god_.

My eyes dart around his apartment looking for something else to focus on. It was a fancy warehouse conversion making it a lot bigger than my own home. It had polished wooden floors, cream walls and was decorated in earthen tones. I was standing in the open plan kitchen and living room.

As I scanned over the furniture, the oak table and the giant bookcase, my eyes are drawn to the orange feature wall. A single white dandelion had been painted to the right, with its spores seemingly flying away towards the left side of the wall. "That's really..." I trail off at loss for words. The painting was so simple but seemed to stir up a multitude of feelings.

"Hope" He states quietly, "That's what everyone finally settles on after standing and staring at it for a while"

I look at it again before nodding in agreement. That was exactly what I was feeling. I turn to him and watch as he does up the buttons on a shirt that he must of found whilst I was distracted by the painting. "So why have you let Doctor Odair talk you into coming around here to wake me up?" He asks with a tired smile.

I watch as he wanders towards the kitchen and pulls out two mugs. "Rue gave us some pictures and we were hoping you might be able to give us some names faster than the FBI's super computer"

He sighs and answers with a question "Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?"

"Oh…um… hot ch-chocolate please" I stutter in reply.

He turns to the tins in front of him and starts spooning powder into the mugs. "Even if I do know them, I'll probably need records from work to give you any answers. You should have asked Finnick to take a look while you were there."

"I'm under strict orders not to blurt out potential media mayhem to any other doctors." I explain with a small smile, finding the courage to join him in the kitchen. "And if I'm honest I don't think I could spend any more time with that man."

He laughs and I find myself grinning as the sound washes over me.

Peeta turns and presses a mug into my hands before ushering me over to the lounge. He drops onto the couch while I sit down on one of the two arm chairs. "I'm sorry, I really don't function properly when I haven't had enough sleep" He admits honestly.

"Sorry" I reply wondering if he wants me to leave so that he can go back to sleep.

"Not your fault that Finnick thinks he is the male incarnate of Aphrodite" Peeta chuckles. I give him a small smile, blushing at the thought of my earlier encounter with Doctor Odair. I take a sip of the hot chocolate and smile as the warm sweetness takes over my senses.

He sips his own drink as he leans over and flicks open the laptop sitting on the lounge table. His strong hands flew across the keyboard. "No promises, but if you have those pictures I'll have a look…" He says "Especially seeing as you have gone to all the effort of finding me"

"It is quite urgent" I utter quickly. It was the truth. We were desperate to find as many of these kids as possible before they were slaughtered unnecessarily. I pull the SD card out of my hand bag and watch as he clicks it into the computer. The pictures flew onto the screen causing me to look away.

"Are you alright?" He questions gently. I avoid his eyes as I ponder the question.

"I guess I'm just tired" I admit honestly after a moment. "It's been a big night…" my eyes flicker to the sunlight pouring in through the window "and day." I have another gulp of the warm beverage letting the chocolately goodness distract me for a moment.

Carefully, I placed the mug on the coffee table and kick off my boots before curling my legs up under me and leaning back into the chair. I close my eyes enjoying the peace of the silence and warmth of the sunlight which had angled over my position.

And before I knew it, I was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Reason**

Chapter Three

* * *

_**15:25 Wednesday - Astoria NY**_

_The icy wind chilled me as I stand, exposed, on an elevated silver disc in the middle of a field. Around me there are others, each standing on their own discs, all prepared, ready to run. My eyes scan their faces; their expressions are haunted with determination and fear. I can see their desire to win and it made me feel sick because I know what that means. I hear my name and my eyes dart to find the voices owner. My silver eyes meet his blue. They are concerned, they are sorry. The sound of a cannon firing draws my attention and I watch as the tributes run towards each other and all I can do is scream as the bloodbath erupts in front of me._

"Katniss – WAKE UP" A voice yells, the tone laced with urgency. My eyes snap open and confusion takes over. Where the hell am I? I spring out of the seat and become aware of the presence of another person who seems determined to settle me. The panic takes over, adrenaline kicks in and I begin to run – only to come to a sudden halt as my knee smashes into something solid. I crash to the ground, smacking my head on something sharp as I go down.

"Katniss, are you all right" The voice was gentle now, concerned.

"Ow" I groan. "What the hell was that?" I'm gently pulled up off the ground and then guided carefully to the couch. Blue eyes meet mine and something cool is pressed onto my forehead. I hiss as excruciating pain follows. Oh, I know those eyes…

"I think the coffee table won that round" Peeta informs me with a small smile. "I'll remember to clear the room before I wake you up next time."

He was so close, why is he so close? I try to push on his shoulder willing him to move but he doesn't budge. I am suffocating on his intoxicating scent. My head is throbbing making it difficult to think. Why does it hurt so much? I slowly raise my hand towards the pain only to have it swatted away.

"What are you doing?" I ask, puzzled. The room hadn't stopped spinning and I was finding it hard to focus. I blink a couple of times trying to get rid of the blur.

"Stay with me" He says quietly. "You've hit your head, you're bleeding – and I'm pretty sure you've got a concussion."

"Oh" I utter "That explains why it hurts"

The blurriness was dissipating and I could see his eyes searching mine. "I woke you, you were having a nightmare" He explains softly. "I wasn't prepared for your sudden _energy_. I'm sorry – you sort of made a dive into the coffee table and caught your head as you fell."

"Did I fall asleep?" I ask, still confused.

Peeta frowns at me, "What do you remember last?"

"Work, car, Finnick, car, here?" I say now feeling drowsy and slightly nauseated. I close my eyes and will the throbbing to stop.

"Open your eyes" He instructs firmly and suddenly there is a torch shining in them. "I really didn't think you hit your head this hard" He mutters before sighing. "You are going to need a couple of stitches Katniss and you are certainly not allowed to sleep."

I blink away the rest of the blur and dizziness. With clear eyes I was able to assess the situation – and the fire was in my cheeks in an instant. Peeta was sitting on the coffee table in front of me, his eyes focused on my forehead as he pressed a compress against it. My head was lowered – my eyes level with his shirt which, I noted, was unbuttoned at the top. But the true reason for my blush was lower than that. He was wearing his white coat – and my small hands were gripping either side, just below the collar.

"I-uh, sorry" I mumble peeling my hands back. The edges where I was clenching were creased.

"And she's back again" He laughs gently and I let myself meet his eyes. I know I am staring but I can't help it. Those azure eyes were, as they say, windows to the soul and his was wonderful. In those eyes I found strength, concern, safety, worry, warmth and even love. I suddenly have the overwhelming desire to kiss him, my stomach dancing with butterflies and sparks. And, as usual, that's my cue to panic. I tear my eyes away from his, finding a spot on the floor to stare at awkwardly.

"Sorry" I am not even sure what I am apologising for.

"We need to get you to the clinic," He informs me after a moment's silence. "Or a hospital… wherever you prefer."

I groan inwardly at the suggestion. Hospitals were on the top of my 'places I hate' list. It had been a car accident that had claimed the life of my father. He had been on the way home from a work trip in Philadelphia when a truck driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and ran straight through the lights. Technically my father had 'survived' the crash. His bones were broken and his body cut and burnt, but he was alive, just not conscious. My mother begged, my sister cried and I prayed but he never woke up from the coma. After two months of practically living in the hospital we turned off life support. And I will never, ever, like hospitals again.

Peeta seems to see that the mention of hospitals has upset me. "I would just stitch you up here, but I don't have a local and it will be ridiculously painful." He admits quietly looking apologetic.

"It's okay" I say, forcing a small smile. "No hospitals, and, I don't want to talk to Doctor Odair."

He chuckles quietly at me before helping me get ready to go.

* * *

**_16:30 Wednesday – R.N.R Clinic, NY_**

"Katniss!" Prim exclaims as she rushes into the consultation room where I am sitting awkwardly while Doctor Annie Cresta stitches up my forehead. "I was so worried about you! What happened? Where were you? I went home and there wasn't even a note? Or a phone call? And Gale didn't know where you were! Are you trying to put me in an early grave?"

"Slow down Prim!" Annie laughs, coming to my rescue. "Let your sister get a word in!"

"Well?" Prim demands; her hands on her hips. "Where were you, and how did you do that?" She points at the spot on my forehead that Annie is quietly attending to.

I flush. How on earth was I going to explain all this to Prim? Somehow the truth seemed absolutely ridiculous. "I bumped my head" I say lamely. I am useless at lying on a good day.

"Really Katniss?" She muttered sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. I am saved for a moment as her attention is redirected towards the door that opened behind her.

"How's she doing?" Peeta asks gently as he joined us in the room. He sent me a smile which I reciprocated.

"All right" I answer. "I can't feel a thing, and I think I'm still concussed. Everything is still a little out of focus."

"You sound as though you will be fine. You didn't even know who was next to you when you first got up." Peeta said with a small smile.

I bit my lip watching as Prim soaks up his sentence. I could see her sharp mind processing the new information and drawing conclusions. That's exactly what I didn't want her to do. I closed my eyes waiting for the awkward question. But it never came.

"Katniss had to ask me some questions about one of our patients so she stopped in here around lunch time" Peeta started. I opened my eyes to see him smiling at my sister. "She was on her way out when a young boy ran in front of her. She fell trying to avoid him and hit her head on the corner of the triage desk. She's been a bit dazed for the past couple of hours. Stubborn woman wouldn't let us help her at first…" Peeta finishes with a laugh.

"Oh Katniss" Prim sighs and she hops up on the bed beside me putting her head on my shoulder. "You need to be more careful. I was so worried about you!" My little sister presses her face into my shoulder and holds my hand with both of hers. I mouth the words _thank you_ to the doctors who both smile.

"You're all done" Annie says as she packs up her kit. "I don't think it will come up too bad. You might have a small scar."

I nod yawning. "No, you aren't allowed to sleep yet" Annie adds quickly. "Prim, perhaps you can work on keeping your sister awake for the next few hours"

Peeta interrupts before Prim has the chance to reply. "I actually have some things that I think you need to see, if you are up to it"

The serious tone he uses doesn't escape me and I know instantly that he has some information on the pictures that I gave him. I swallow as I think of all the time I had wasted. I had to reassure myself that the second day was never as bad as the first a couple of times before I could answer. "Yeah, I can take a look – if there is anything, I should send it back to the precinct."

"You're not going to work tonight!" Prim cries incredulously "You've got a concussion!"

Sighing I turn to meet my younger sisters eyes. "There's a lot going on at work little duck, I can't really take time off at the moment." I reply. Her eyes darken and she hops up so that she is standing in front of me, hands back on her hips.

"You've got a concussion" She repeats, slowly this time. The she spins around to the doctors in the room. "Tell her!"

"It's probably best that you take it easy" Annie recommends quietly, obviously not keen on getting involved in an argument.

"How about we see how she's going when your shift ends" Peeta suggests to Prim diplomatically. "She can stay here till then, and you can keep an eye on her."

Prim considers this for a moment before agreeing, with one condition. "But if you don't make some sort of miraculous improvement, you are not to go to work tonight!"

"We'll see Prim" I say quietly.

She was about to retort when Annie put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on Primrose, the Lavell children are here again. Let's go see what's happened this time." And the beautiful woman quietly guided my sister out of the room. I smile as I look at the closed door. I owe Annie Cresta.

"I thought you were the one that looked after her" Peeta confesses as he offers his hand to help me stand.

"I did too, once." I admit quietly as I take his hand and let him pull me up. A wave of dizziness causes me to stumble into him and I find myself apologising profusely.

"It's all right" He reassures me with a smile.

I give him a half smile. "So, what do you think my chances are of making a miraculous improvement?"

* * *

**_19:05 Wednesday – 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

"So your telling me that you went to his house _for work_, and you somehow _fell asleep_ and then when you woke up you tripped over and _injured yourself_. " Gale questioned, his eyebrows raised and his eyes sparkling with laughter. "Sure Catnip. More like you went over for a tumble and things turned kinky – no wonder you were _so_ tired!"

"I swear Gale I will kill you!" I roar throwing myself at him. I had just got him in a headlock when I was pulled off him roughly. "Let go of me" I growl, trying to fight my way out of the arms that were holding me back.

"Calm down Everdeen" The cool voice orders. I stop struggling, suddenly feeling deflated. I would know that voice anywhere. "Didn't that doctor of _yours_ say that you weren't allowed to exert yourself, you do have a concussion, don't you?"

"Sorry Abernathy" I sigh, dropping my gaze to the ground. I am silently hoping that he won't mention the blush that appeared on my cheeks at the word '_yours'_ .

"And you" He growls pointing at Gale who is still laughing. "You know that she's telling the truth. That story she just told you is too bloody stupid to be anything other than true, so stop winding her up. I need you both _on task!" _Abernathy snaps.

Gale takes a deep breath and nods. "Sorry boss" He sighs.

Abernathy shakes his head, still furious. "You two are the best I've got and you're acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers. There are kids dying."

The words hit home and both of us are consumed by guilt.

"You did good with the doctor. We've got two kids in! Two of them are out of harm's way because of you two."

"Who is the second?" I ask. I know that Rue and her family had already put into witness protection but I didn't know that the uniforms had picked up another one.

He threw the photo of the fox-like girl onto the desk in front of me. "Found her this evening after you sent through that information from the clinic. We've already handed her over to the Marshals… my point is that _**no one**_ else around here has managed to get nearly as far as you two. And there are still kids out there."

Gale and I looked at each other quietly.

"The body count for day one is up to eleven. I think that might be it. But day two is nearly over isn't it." He snaps before walking back into his office, slamming the door behind him.

"Well shit" Gale curses after a moment, running a shaky hand through his hair.

I looked at the files in front of me. My hand unconsciously moved to the cut on my forehead, my fingers gently moving over the soft plastic of the patch covering it. The anesthetic had long since worn off and I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt. At least the dizziness had gone. "Yeah" I sigh.

"Any ideas?" He asks in a serious tone.

"How do they pick the tributes?" I ask quietly.

Gale ponders this silently. "I guess they could have eyes in the shelters, or the kitchens?" He suggests after a moment. He wears a small frown and I can tell that this thought bothers him. The idea that someone would volunteer to help so that they could secretly identify children as hopeless and weak was just sick.

"So get the stomach content reports and see if they had anything similar. I'll look through this one's interview transcripts" I say pointing at the picture of the fox-like girl. Gale nods quickly before walking hurriedly off in the direction of the labs.

It takes us all night to go through everything and by the time the sun was peeking over the horizon my head was pounding. "What the hell are we missing Gale? It can't be completely random – they have to work it out somehow!" I cry in desperation.

"I don't know Katniss" He says, sounding defeated. "I think we're wasting time, there has been countless hours spent on this over the past fifty years and no one has ever worked this out… we need a new strategy."

"So what do you suggest?" I question. I agree with his comment but I can't shake the nagging feeling that I was missing something that was right in front of me.

"We need more information. We need to talk to people from the community that they trust – just like Mellark. They are the sort of people that these kids are going to go running to now." He says, somewhat wisely. The memory of Peeta telling Rue to go with us comes to mind and I watch in slow motion as the relief flooded her features.

"That's brilliant Gale" I mutter quietly. "Any ideas of who…?" I didn't need to finish because people were already coming to mind. I know who I would have run to.

"Yeah, you?" Gale says, reading my mind.

"Yeah… but we are taking a risk. Abernathy will shoot us if this gets back to the press and it's not like the reporters aren't going to get interested if they spot us hanging around hot spots like the Hob. We also run the risk of someone selling the story…"

Gale sits back in his seat. His expression indicates that he is having some sort of deeper moral debate. He sighs and his troubled silver-grey eyes meet mine. "Do you think I can ask that doctor of _yours_ a favor?"

I clench my jaw, instantly aware of his line of thought. The press would not be the slightest bit interested in Peeta. And I had no doubt that he, being the kindhearted doctor he was, would help without a second thought. "Oh no Gale, we can't use him…" I trail off knowing that the suggestion was a good one, even if I hated it.

"Why don't we ask him?" Gale proposes.

"Because he'll say yes" I snap, "You know he will."

"No, I mean, we be completely honest and we lay it all out in front of him, everything. He's intelligent Katniss, he can weigh up the pros and cons and make his own decision."

I chew absently on my lip as I stare at the clock watching the seconds slip away. "This could go so horribly wrong."

"We'll just have to hope that the odds are in our favor."

* * *

_**05:49 Thursday - R.N.R Clinic, NY**_

"Katniss!" Doctor Odair cries excitedly. He wore giant grin and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively "Tell me _everything_! Was he _sexy_? Did you _ravage_ him?"

"Wh-what!" I stutter, flustered. It takes mere seconds for the heat to consume my whole body. I have never been so embarrassed. and it didn't help that I could feel Gale's grinning eyes on my face. I frown letting my hand settle on my gun, the last thing I needed was for these two to be friends.

"Oh come on Katniss" He sulks despite the mirth in his eyes. "In this profession, I've come across _everything_. There is nothing wrong if you like _it_ a bit _rough_" He motions to the gauze on my forehead and winks at me.

Gale is practically doubled over in laughter next to me now, which was not helping my mood at all. This was absolute torture. I scowl and glare defiantly at the attractive Doctor.

Finnick suddenly breaks the stare, his eyes obviously spotting something behind me. His striking smile grew wider. "Peeta!" He exclaims, bouncing like a child at Christmas time. "Katniss, here, has just been telling me how _sexy_ you are"

Gale laughed harder. "Some friend you are" I mutter quietly at him. All I can do is look between my laughing partner and my torturer, because there is absolutely no way I can turn around and face Peeta right now.

"You jealous Odair?" Peeta chuckles.

It wasn't really the reply I was hoping for. Nor really the one I was expecting. Where was my boy with the bread when I needed him? Against my better judgement I look up at him and send him my most desperate pleading look. _Please save me._

"Oh come now Peeta, _your_ lovely Katniss obviously thinks I'm far more fetching than you. She can barely tear her eyes away from me. I'm just informing you that she obviously thinks that you are sexy _too_"

I don't trust myself to move let alone say anything.

"That is quite enough Doctor Odair" interrupts Annie, her tone scolding. "I personally think that Peeta is far more _likeable_ than you. Perhaps if you tried a little harder to _be nice…"_

A childish look of guilt crossed Finnick's face.

"How can we help you two?" She asks, as she turns away from the handsome doctor.

Gale, who was still recovering from his fits of laughter, nods toward Peeta "We need a word if that's okay?"

* * *

_**12:13 Thursday - Harlem NY**_

I didn't get home till lunch time. My head was pounding and I had never been so tired in my life. I kicked of my boots and dropped my jacket on the back of a chair as I made my way across the living area and into the kitchen. Two ibuprofen and a bottle of water later I dropped onto the couch, throwing a blanket over me.

Peeta had agreed to everything without hesitation. I wasn't surprised, but I was a little irked. Putting him in this situation did not sit well with me and I had all but begged him not to do it. He was not like Gale and I, he wasn't the sort to put his own survival at the forefront. And that frightened me more than it should.

I sigh inwardly. It was becoming quite stressful all these things I was being forced to _feel_. I had worked hard to erect the walls that protected my heart from the pain of losing someone again. And here I was feeling miserable that my sister was slipping away, humiliated by the words of an attractive doctor, upset by the actions of the street children and a whole range of other emotions that threatened to drown me at just the idea of Peeta Mellark.

I cover my face with my hands and sigh again. What the hell is happening to me?

I mull over this question for a while but can't find one good answer. I just want things to go back to normal. When all I had to do was survive, because surviving is easier than healing and feeling and possibly even thinking.

Closing my eyes I let my head fall back into the pillow that hadn't moved from the couch in months. I should at least _try_ to sleep in my room I suppose. I'm guess I'm still sort of paranoid about people bursting through the front door. Emotional scars from my youth. I groan and think it is about time that I make that follow up appointment with the Police psychologist; I obviously need it.

A wave of drowsiness washes over me as the pain killers kick in. I feel sleep coming on, but I don't quite get there as I am suddenly haunted by the image of Peeta's lifeless blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Reason**

Chapter Four

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_A/N: Sorry it's taken so long between updates. I've made myself go back and edit a few things in chapter three. There is a bit of extra information there about Katniss' Father and I changed the end slightly. I've spent most of this weekend working on this chapter so I hope you enjoy it! Happy reading! Don't forget to review ;)_

* * *

**_23:26 Thursday – 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

Gale looks at me sympathetically as I join him in Abernathy's board room. I know what he wants to say – _you look like crap_ – but he wouldn't dare in front of the squad. The FBI was now involved in the case and this was a formal "you will play nice" meeting. I really didn't feel like putting up with this bullshit. I had slept horribly, waking every hour for some reason or another. Nightmares of children killing each other and people bursting into my apartment haunted me, and I kept bumping the cut on my head against the back of the couch. There was also Prim who had accidentally thrown her bag on me when she rushed around, apparently late for work. I don't feel as though I've slept a wink.

"Good Morning" Haymitch Abernathy starts in a somewhat formal manner. It didn't last long. "I'm not gonna waste your time by bullshitting you all by saying we have this under control. Many of you have worked a Hunger Games or two before and you know how fast it all goes down. We are at day four. The current body count is at thirteen. Eleven of them were on day one. Based on previous games we believe that we have eleven left alive...**what the hell**?"

My phone is screeching from within my pocket, the sound ringing out through the silent room. Everyone turns to look at me and I can't get to the stupid thing fast enough. I hang up quickly, noting with worry that it was Prim who had been calling. "Sorry" I mumbled sheepishly to the eyes that were currently sizing me up.

Abernathy sends me a glare but continues. "As I was saying" He growls obviously pissed off "There are eleven left. Based on the structure of the games in the past we can now expect things to move a bit slower. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't… **Everdeen?**"

My phone is screaming again. I know I should be rushing to turn it off, but I keep staring at Prim's name on the screen. It bothered me that she was calling so late. She usually texted in the evenings because she knew I was busy. And it was eleven thirty. I shook my head suddenly noticing that a buzz of quiet chatter had started around me.

"I- sorry boss, I've got to take this" I stutter before rushing out of the room. I was going to get an absolute hiding for this later. But it was better to be safe than sorry. It was a stupid time to have a meeting anyway – classified or not.

"Prim?" I answer as soon as I'm back at my desk.

"Kat- Katniss!" She cries hysterically and I know instantly that answering was the right thing to do.

"Prim, what's wrong? Where are you?"

"Oh Katniss – I'm-I'm so so-rry, I- sorry, ple-ase" She blubbers hysterically. I felt my heart rate quicken. What on earth was going on?

"Prim. It's all right, you have to calm down and tell me what's wrong. Where are you?" I ask slowly, trying hard to take my own advice and remain calm.

"I- I didn't know, I'm sorry I'm so-rry" She continues to cry and I frown as I notice the slight slur of her words.

"Prim? It's okay" I say, strained "Just tell me where you are little duck" I panic when there is no response. I pull my phone away from my ear, wondering if we have been disconnected. We haven't.

"PRIM! PRIM!" I start screaming into the phone. "PRIM!"

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice was calm as he interrupted my yelling. "It's all right, she's all right" He assures me quickly before I can shout all sorts of abuse down the phone at him. He knows me too well to be _just_ someone that I went to school with.

"Peeta?" I question, the confusion of his presence consuming my panic. My tone alone must convey my message because his reply is exactly what I was looking for.

"She's all right" He repeats, "Its Rory who's in a bad way. They-" He sighs "They went to a party and got carried away. Prim is fine, but Rory is touch and go. I suggest you get Gale and whoever else Rory needs to meet us at the N Y Presbyterian Hospital." My lips press together tightly at the word _hospital._

"What-"

"Get Gale now Katniss" He instructs me coolly, interrupting the question that was still on my lips. "There will be plenty of time for explanations. Rory is in a bad way and needs his family. And Prim needs you."

The words have an impact and I march myself back into the meeting and drag Gale out with hurried whispers. We practically run out of the building and didn't have second thoughts as we sped through the traffic with the siren blaring.

"Did Mellark say why he was there?" Gale asks meekly as we drive.

"No" I reply quietly. "I think – I'm not sure why – but I think Prim might have called _him first"_ It actually hurt me to say it. I feel tears appearing in my eyes. Was I such a bad sister that Prim couldn't call me when things went wrong?

There was a moments silence before Gale answered my inner question by dropping an absolute bombshell.

"They've been dating for three years" He admits.

I freeze. "What?" I gasp, staring at my partner who just stared out at the traffic in front of him as he carefully navigated through the cars that were movin_g _out of our way. He knew I was gaping at him, he just couldn't bring himself to meet my eye. Pathetic.

"She never got the guts to tell you" Gale explains quietly, "And she made me swear that I wouldn't. She was afraid that you would react badly I guess, I don't really know."

"So what, you've all been lying to me for three years?" I growl dangerously. "You are supposed to have my back!"

"I'm sorry Katniss" He sighs and I could tell from his tone and the way his face dropped into a frown that he actually meant it.

But it didn't make me any less furious. "And you decided to enlighten me _now_ because…?" I ask, seething.

"Because I don't know what has happened, because I am worried about my little brother, because I adore your little sister, because I am scared… I don't really know Katniss. Maybe I just think it's about time someone told you. She isn't little anymore. She's a young woman who is much more interested and curious about the world than you were at her age… and I don't know how they've ended up in hospital but, you need to know, it isn't anyone's fault."

I gape at Gale. "Anything else you need to tell me?" I croak, a couple of stray tears falling down my cheeks.

Gale sighs, "Yeah, I bought a ring a few weeks ago. I'm working up the courage to ask Madge to marry me" He flashes me a small smile, finally meeting my eyes for a brief moment. "I don't want to fight Katniss, I just want you to go into this with a clear head and knowing all the facts."

I choose not to reply. I was never very good with words and I really don't have a clue what to say. My body shakes with anger as his words echo in my head and the hurt is all-consuming; however as we pull into the hospital car park I decide that this can wait as there are bigger problems to deal with first.

Gale and I jump out of the car and make our way speedily into emergency.

"Excuse me, are you Mr Hawthorne and Miss Everdeen?" Asks a gentle voice, interrupting my argument with the hospital receptionist. We turn to face the speaker and Gale nods. "I thought so, Peeta said you would be here soon. I'm Doctor Delly Cartright" Says the attractive blonde woman as she shakes our hands briskly. She motions to us and we quietly follow her through the large security doors at the back of the emergency lounge. "I've been looking after your brother Mr Hawthorne. He's had a rough couple of hours but it looks as though he is going to pull through all right."

It only takes our moment of hesitation for her to realize that we didn't know what was going on. "Oh goodness me, I'm sorry. Rory has been involved in an accident." She starts, "It seems that he and Miss Everdeen were attending a party and, well I'm not really sure how but, he fell from a third story balcony."

I grab Gale's hand and squeeze tightly, my earlier fury forgotten.

"He's exceptionally lucky to be alive." She admits softly, "And at this stage we don't think there will be any permanent damage. He seems to have fallen through a cloth roof of some sort which slowed him up before he hit the pavement. So far the x-rays of his head, neck and back have been quite positive; however, he isn't out of the woods yet."

We come to a stop outside a small two bed ward with the letters ICU 7 painted in white across the window. I take a peek and I'm instantly relieved to see Prim fast asleep on the seat next to the empty bed. I am about to ask about Rory, but Gale beats me to it.

"Where is..." Gale starts quietly

"He's in surgery. We've had to reconstruct one of his wrists as it took the grunt of the force, and he needed a number of stitches in his face, legs and waist. He should be out soon… they will bring him back here." The doctor expalins and we both nod silently before entering the room.

Doctor Cartwright follows us in and I watch as her eyes fall upon Prim. "I don't know how he convinced her to sleep." She mutters quietly. "She has been hysterical since we rushed Mr Hawthorne to surgery. If Doctor Mellark hadn't turned up we probably would have had to restrain and sedate her. Speaking of which, he should be back shortly, we borrowed him for a moment to help with a knife wound. We never have enough staff around here."

"Thank you" I say quietly. She sends me a empathetic smile before heading out of the room. After a moment I turn to Gale and throw myself at him, winding my arms around his waist. He buries his head in my neck and I ignore the hot tears that are splashing onto my shoulder. I could allow the weakness, if it had been Prim in surgery I would be a complete mess. "It's going to be okay Gale, he's a tough kid, he'll pull through" I whisper weakly knowing that it wasn't nearly as convincing as Gale needed it to be.

He pulls away slowly. "I've got to call Mum and Madge" He says, distracted by his thoughts. "I won't be long – can you get me if they bring him back" I nod in reply watching as he strides towards the exit, his eyes focused on his phone. I notice too late that the door way is blocked and watch as Gale runs straight into Peeta who is returning as he is leaving. They look at each other in surprise for a moment before they both laugh awkwardly and mutter apologies.

I watch, bewildered, as Gale stares uncomfortably at a spot on the ground seemingly waiting for the other man to speak. Peeta grips his shoulder. "He is going to be all right" He says with the strength that I had been unable to find. Gale just stares for a moment, unsure whether to believe him. "I'm not one to lie about these things" Peeta continues. "He is in a bad way right now, and he will be in a lot of pain for a while but he is going to be all right."

Something changed in Gales eyes and he stood a little straighter, his shoulders no longer hunched. I watch as he sends Peeta a small, thankful smile. "I've got to make a few calls" He explains nodding towards the exit. Peeta nods, smiling back gently as he lets go of my partner's shoulder.

I stand silently for a moment before I ask the question. Gale may be okay with it, but the elephant in the room is choking me with its trunk. "Why are you here?"

He doesn't flinch, frown or fret; even though my question had lacked a great deal of tact. His steady answer explained why my sharp words didn't bother him.

"Prim rang me." He says simply, his blue eyes regarding me as he takes a seat at the back of the room. "She called the clinic and asked if I could help her. She didn't want her friends getting into trouble at first. I told her pointedly that she was being stupid and that she needed to ring an ambulance. I hung up and waited. She called back about fifteen minutes later from the back of the ambulance and told me to meet them here. Before you ask… I can only guess at the reasons why".

"Oh" I say, because it's the only thing I can say. I can guess as well. She didn't want trouble for her friends and I am a police detective. Rory was hurt and Peeta is a doctor. I could almost see her quick mind making the decision and I can't help but think that if it had been me, I would have chosen to call Peeta too. "Is she okay?" I ask quietly as I move to the only other seat in the room; the one next to him.

"She's not injured – but she's quite upset" Peeta replies honestly. He pauses, regarding me for a moment. "Look, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you all this; but I'm pretty sure you need to know." He sighs while looking at Primrose. "The two of them were drunk Katniss. They took Rory's blood alcohol levels when he came in and he was way over an acceptable limit for his age and size, and Prim was so hysterical because she could barely hold herself up. She's passed out over there, I've been constantly checking on her to make sure she makes it through the night."

It occurs to me that Peeta might be the first person who has ever spoken to me honestly about my little sister; but it's buried under the shock.

"Prim was drunk" I repeat. The words feel so very wrong. My sister is perfect, she is a straight A student who aspires to do amazing things. She is not an alcoholic. I stare at her as she sleeps silently in the chair, her head resting on her hand. What the hell Prim!

Peeta catches my eye and gives me a gentle smile. "She's not the first teenager to get drunk Katniss. She's nearly eighteen. The parties she attends won't be balloons and bouncy castles anymore."

I frown at him, knowing that he was right. And it bugs me because I had never considered that Prim could choose to do these things; that she could choose to put herself in danger. "I just... I never even imagined that she would get involved in this sort of thing. I suppose because I didn't." I sigh and look into his eyes. "And I never thought she would lie to me. I guess that was that naïve of me."

"Probably" He tells me honestly, "She is just as desperate to protect you as you are to protect her – have you lied to her?"

"I'm a horrible liar," I admit and he gives me a gorgeous little half smile. "But I have twisted the truth, on numerous occasions."

"Well you can hardly expect her to do anything different." Peeta states simply.

"But she's Prim"

"Yes she is," He agrees quietly. "But even the best of us make mistakes."

I sigh. Gale had tried to tell me the same thing in the car earlier. Primrose was young and curious and she, unlike me, wasn't going to hide away from experiences because of 'what ifs'. Even if it meant she ended up passed out in a chair in a hospital. I shift awkwardly as I looked over at her. She was wearing heels, a pair of dark denim jeans and a white tank top that was streaked with dirt and blood. Her hair was pulled back into a loose pony tail, and her face was a mess of tear ruined make-up. Although my little sister had lied to me, all I could think was how relieved I was that she was safe and alive.

"Thank you" I say to Peeta. "Thank you for helping them, you didn't have to, but I appreciate that you did."

Peeta shakes his head at me. "You don't need to thank me for that." He sighs, "Any one in my position would have done the same. They're just kids."

I smile gently knowing that he was wrong and that _just anyone_ wouldn't help two kids in trouble. I choose to deflect instead of argue. "Then, thank you for the bread" I say quietly. It was long overdue anyway.

Peeta stills and his lips form into a confused line. His eyes search mine, "You mean the rolls, all those years ago?" He questions. "You remember that?"

I hold his gaze, "It was a pretty significant moment in my life." I explain softly. "It literally saved mine and my sister's life."

"It was just a few bread rolls" He mumbles awkwardly. "I always felt so guilty that I hadn't done more. You two were wasting away and I barely managed to pluck up the courage to give you some burnt bread." His eyes avoid mine.

"It was a hell of a lot more than anyone else did" I whisper sadly, placing a gentle hand on his arm. He turns, his blue eyes meeting mine causing the butterflies and sparks surge in my stomach. He tenderly moves a stray strand of hair out my face and his hand lingers at the side of my head, tangling itself in my hair.

"I was head over heels" He admits quietly, his face moving closer to mine "with the fiery girl who could still the birds with a song. It hurt to watch her flames fade away."

His warm lips press against mine softly. I close my eyes, letting the warmth spread through my cheeks as I lift my hand to his shirt, taking hold of his collar. His tongue slides over my lips and I gladly part them. He tastes like peppermint and chocolate; the sugar on my lips adding to my dizzy happiness. Suddenly I crave for more. I force the kiss into one more passionate and he responds with fervour. I press closer to him, whimpering as the arm of the chair digs into my thigh. His kisses were addictive and luscious and amazing.

Distracted, I didn't hear his steps as they entered the room but I couldn't ignore Gales awkward "Oh, shit!" followed by a mumbled apology. My body cries out in despair as Peeta pulls away. I look at him, his blue eyes are shining with happiness and hope and his half smile hinted of wicked thoughts. I beam back at him, unable to hide the unmistakeable happiness that had, momentarily, taken over my mind, body and soul. Unfortunately the sound of wheels rolling along the linoleum floors snap us both back to reality.

Peeta stands and goes to help the orderly who is pushing Rory and his bed into the room. I turn to Gale whose worried eyes were focused on his brother.

"Rory?" Gale says softly.

The teen looks worse for wear. His face is bruised black and blue, and there were about twenty stitches along his jaw. One of his wrists was in a cast and there was a bandage wound around his middle which disappeared under the white linen bed sheet which had been haphazardly pulled over him. His eyes were closed, his mouth dropped open and he snored lightly.

"He's been knocked out" Peeta explains helpfully. "He'll come to in a few hours or so."

Gale nods weakly. "He'll be fine right?"

"It's not as bad as it looks." Peeta told him calmly. "The wrist is the worst of his injuries, and will take the longest to fix. The cuts and abrasions and bruising will all clear up – he just has to make sure he keeps away infections by keeping them clean. He'll be back to normal in no time."

"Doing my job for me Peeta?" Doctor Cartwright teases as she walked into the room, a clipboard in her hand.

"I wouldn't dare" He laughs gently and I was suddenly green with jealously. It is clear that the two of them know each other quite well. All of a sudden I have a million questions, but none of them are going to be answered now. "I was just leaving actually" Peeta tells her before turning to face Gale and I. "That is, if you two don't need me here. I should get back to the Clinic – it isn't exactly my night off."

My heart clenches at the idea of him leaving, but there really is no logical reason for him to stay.

"No it's all right" Gale answers for us. He pauses for a moment his eyes moving between Prim and I. "Actually, can you take Prim and Katniss home?"

I go to object but Gale shakes his head. "You heard what Peeta said, Rory won't be up for a while anyway. Take Prim home and get her cleaned up. I think you and her need to have a bit of a heart to heart anyway, and you need to call Abernathy and let him know that we aren't just skiving." He tells me. "Mum and Madge will be here in ten minutes or so, and I'll call you if anything changes."

Nodding I turn to Peeta who is gently picking up sleeping beauty. "Call me when he wakes up. Prim will undoubtedly want to come back." I growl at him.

"You know I will" He says with a small smile."Now get lost Catnip"

* * *

**_01:45 Friday– Harlem, NY_**

"You have now arrived at your destination" The generic voice of the GPS informs us and the car comes to a stop. I blink, vaguely aware that I have been sleeping for most of the journey.

"Hey" Peeta says as he gently places a hand on my cheek. "We're here"

I smile at him before yawning loudly. "I am exhausted" I admit as I stretch out my legs and unbuckle the seat belt.

"You look it." He tells me honestly. "I mean it Katniss, you haven't been sleeping have you?"

My playful smile disappears. "I haven't really had time" I confess. "And when I do manage to find time…"

"You have nightmares" He finishes for me as he lifts the still sleeping Prim out of the car. "I can prescribe something for you if you want – it is important that you sleep"

"Maybe I should take a page out of Prim's book and just drink myself into a stupor" I laugh as we walk into the building and I press the button for the lift. I never hear his reply as my phone begins screeching again. I pull it out of my purse where I had thrown it earlier. Eek! Thirty missed calls from the station – Abernathy is going to have my neck. I quickly hit the answer button. "Hello" I say slowly, cringing in anticipation.

"EVERDEEN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND HAWTHORNE?"

I cringe and pull the phone away from my ear. I'm not sure I've ever heard Abernathy so angry, and I was famous for being the cause of his bad moods. I suppose he did have good reason for his rage: Gale and I had walked out of a massively important meeting last night... and the FBI was there... oh damn I'm in trouble.

"Sorry" I mumble sheepishly. "We've been at the hospital – I, we should have called."

"What?" Haymitch snapped, his voice softening ever-so-slightly.

"Rory, Gale's younger brother, fell off a third floor balcony. Prim was with him when it happened. She called me during the meeting to tell me but she was so worked up that she couldn't get the message across. I didn't have time to think. I'm sorry Chief, I should have explained before I left." I explain quickly. I look up to find that Peeta has stopped in front of me and was waiting for me to unlock the door. I nod at him and open the door before ushering him towards my sister's bedroom.

Haymitch Abernathy was silent for a moment. "Are they alright? The two kids?" He asks quietly, his tone betraying his guilt.

"Rory is still in hospital, he's not too good, but he's going to pull through. Prim is a bit of a mess, but I've got her now – they should be fine" I say before yawning. "Do you need me to come in?"

"What?" He snaps through the receiver. "Oh fuck no – don't you dare come in." I watch quietly as Peeta makes himself at home in my kitchen. He places a glass of water on the small end table that I'm standing next to before heading in the direction of the bathroom. "You have the night off. Tell Gale he can have the week off if he wants it. Not you – you make sure that your pretty little butt is my office as soon as you get here tomorrow afternoon."

"Thanks Haymitch" I say tiredly. I drop into my spot on the couch and sprawl out along it my face pressed into my pillow.

"_Don't _mention it" He snaps before hanging up the phone. I drop my cell on the floor next to me and draw myself into the foetal postion. The lack of sleep is definetely catching up on me and all of a sudden I feel extremely fragile. I can't fight back the wave of tears that start to appear as the memory of a laughing six- year-old Prim appears in my mind's eye. The tears turn into sobs as my memories shuffle to my father. I could use his wisdom right now. My hands cover my face and I shake all over. I hate feeling like this.

Flinching slightly as a gentle hand is placed on my back, I remember that Peeta is still here. "It's all right" He whispers, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead, before pulling me safely into his arms. I bury my head into his shoulder as he winds his arms around my waist, holding me tightly as I cry. This is ridiculous! _I don't cry._

On that note I don't laugh either, or smile, or get embarrassed, or get hurt. I survive so that I can make sure that my sister eats, and is safe...but I'm not doing that very well lately either. "I am so useless" I gasp, "I just can't do anything right!"

"Hey now" He says gently, pulling back slightly so that he can wipe the tears from my face. "You really don't give yourself enough credit Katniss. Look at what you have built for yourself. You have an amazing little sister who adores you so much that she afraid to disappoint you, a best friend who will by your side through thick and thin, an amazing job, a home, even a crazy cat, which just attacked me by the way. And you've done all that without an ounce of help. It's inspiring."

"I had help" I tell him quietly, choking back the tears. He smiled softly, his eyes sparkling in the dim light. "I had the boy with the bread."

Those seven simple words were all it took for his lips to find mine.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Reason**

Chapter Five

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_Author's Notes: I'm sorry it has taken so long to get this up! I've got overseas visitors so my attention has been elsewhere. I hope that this chapter will make up for the delay. Enjoy.  
_

* * *

**_07:35 Friday – Harlem, NY_**

I have the most amazing dream. I am safe, warm and comfortable in my bed, neatly tucked under the duvet. I can hear laughter and soft music coming from the living area of my apartment and the most amazing smell is wafting into my room. Sunshine is penetrating through the slight gap in the blinds and reflecting off the mirror giving the allusion of a rainbow across the back wall of my room. It is beautiful, incredible and I begin to hope that I never wake up; that is, until I realize that I am awake.

"What the hell?" I mutter, sitting up quickly. I look around my room alarmed, searching for a reason to panic. But there is none. Everything is in its correct place; actually the only thing that is odd about my room right now is the fact that I am in it. "How…"

A familiar chuckle echoes from outside my door and I blush, hard, as I recall the hazy memory of Peeta Mellark carrying my sleepy form into my room and tucking me into my bed. I drop back into my pillow and brush the tips of my fingers of my lips as my mind wanders to the kisses shared in the early hours of this morning. I had felt so much more than sparks and butterflies. Hunger, fire and passion are all better words to use to describe what I experienced last night. I roll over and bury my face, and my embarrassment, in my pillow. Oh god – what is that man doing to me?

I throw off the blankets and sit up with my legs dangling off the bed; I am suddenly wide awake and far too warm to continue lying under the eiderdown anyway. I stare down at yesterday's clothing and feel the blush surge in my cheeks as gratitude courses through my body. He was right to stop me, I would not have handled a 'morning after' well. I just breathe for a moment as I think through the memory…

_His mouth is crushed against mine, our tongues dancing as he responds to my hunger. I'm pulling at his shirt, roughly undoing the buttons, desperate to feel his skin. He leans back into the couch as I push myself into him, kissing him zealously. There is fire burning inside of me as my hands rundown his toned chest and stomach, and take hold of his belt. I feel his frown first, then he sits up and I whimper as the action causes us to separate. "We-we need to slow down!" He stutters, absolutely breathless._

_I blush before deciding to ignore him and press my lips back into his. "Woah – Katniss" He laughs as he takes hold of my shoulders and carefully holds me away. "We shouldn't do that now. I'm not that sort of guy… and we're on the couch, in your living room."_

_I blink and look around. Okay, so maybe it's not my first choice in location but I am finding it particularly hard to ignore the fire. "I- I've, I" I mumble, before huffing as words fail me again. "I've never felt like this – I, I, I want you"_

_Peeta grins at my admission. Oh he is so damn sexy. He kisses my forehead before replying huskily. "Believe me the feeling is mutual. I just don't think it's a good idea- not here, not now." He gives me a smile "At least let me buy you dinner first."_

_I stare at him. He looks so amazing. His blonde hair tousled from my hands running through it. His blue eyes sparkling warmly as I gape at him. His white shirt hanging open… he lifts my chin with his fingers and gently kisses me. "Not now" He whispers, his tone almost teasing. _

_I sigh and collapse into his arms and rest my head on his shoulder. "Fine" I say, feeling frustrated, annoyed and slightly disappointed. I think I'd feel worse if he didn't smell so good. _

_He gives me a sympathetic smile and I rest against his chest, placing my head on his shoulder. I really am tired, and as the fire ebbs away I can see the reasoning behind his actions. "I'd love to have dinner with you," I say quietly. He laughs and I am fuzzily fascinated by the vibrations in his chest. My heart warms and I smile into him as my eyes flutter close and I drift off into a light sleep._

Prim's voice interrupts my thoughts and the reason for Peeta's presence comes to mind. I frown annoyed that I can't bask in the happiness that Doctor Mellark has triggered for any longer. I need a shower, and to talk to Prim. Grabbing some new clothes I make my way out of my room and follow the sound of laughter and music into the kitchen. I stop when I reach the doorway and look on quietly.

Prim is sitting at the table with her head in her hands. She has a large glass of water in front of her and some toast. Peeta is standing in front of the stove, his sleeves rolled up and my Dad's apron draped over him. Damn…

"I am never going to drink again" Prim grumbles to him as he moves carelessly around the kitchen. I think he's making an omelette. The smell is making my mouth water – wow I'm hungry. "That was the worst night of my life" my sister continues.

He turns to give her a kind smile, "You are not the first person to learn _that_ lesson the hard way." The handsome man in my kitchen eyes the full glass of water in front of my little sister. "You will feel better if you get that water down. I highly doubt you will be sick again."

Prim huffs, and pulls herself up in her seat. Her damp blonde hair has been pulled into a messy bun at the back of her head and she is dressed in a clean yellow t-shirt and fresh jeans. She slowly lifts the glass and takes a tiny sip of the water before putting it back down on the table.

He shakes his head at her weak attempt to follow his instructions. "I could call Doctor Odair perhaps he can charm you into re-hydrating yourself." He threatens with a smirk.

I can't help but laugh when I see her blush red and quickly lift her glass at the name of the godly doctor. It seems that Prim and I have something in common. I lift my eyes from my sister and his stunning blue eyes meet mine; he gives me a warm smile. "Good morning" Peeta says "Breakfast?"

"Oh- um- sure, in a minute, I need a shower" I stutter, smiling shyly back at him. I am sort of surprised that he is still here. Not that I want him to go, I just figured he would leave chivalrously or something and I need to sort out a few things with my _wild_ little sister. My attention turns back to her. She is sitting stiffly in her seat. "Good morning Primrose" I say quietly.

Prim turns around slowly and I get a good look at her face. She is very pale. Her eyes are red and blood shot from crying, and possibly vomiting and there are dark bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. "Hi" She whispers meekly, her bottom lip quivering.

As I gape at her, a million emotions flood my being. I settle on anger - the easiest, the one I understand.

"Katniss" Peeta says warily, interrupting before I could start my enraged rant. "Go and have your shower. Prim has been up since three this morning. She needs all that food and water and probably a few hours sleep before there are more tears. And your phone has been ringing all morning."

I open my mouth then shut it, unsure of how to react. I am quite surprised that he has the audacity to order me around and I'm even more surprised that I'm inclined to _obey_. I suppose this is him in Doctor Mode; and who am I to argue with his prognosis. I turn and head towards the bathroom without a sound, not faltering until I hear Prim's exclamation.

"How did you do that?" She cries out at him, her voice laced with honest astonishment, "Oh my god! Are you sleeping with my sister?"

I think I can hear Peeta laughing as I quietly close the bathroom door, escaping my sister. Even though the answer was no, my sister would see the desire and embarrassment all over me. And I am not ready for _that _conversation. I'm not even ready for these feelings!

After my shower I stare at myself in the mirror. The good sleep has done wonders. My eyes were bright and the bags under them had faded. I cringe as my fingers brush over the stitches in my forehead. Despite still being quite sensitive, it was healing nicely. I cover it over with a small, adhesive bandage then venture back to the kitchen.

I am surprised to find Peeta alone at the sink, wiping up the dishes that he had obviously just washed for me. He is humming along to Cold Play's latest song which is playing on the small unused radio that sits in the corner of the kitchen. I watch silently as his eyes gaze out the kitchen window at Buttercup who is chasing a beetle on the small balcony. I step back and stare at the scene and for just a moment everything seems so perfectly right that I am totally overwhelmed. "Where is Prim?" I ask, trying to distract myself from the frightening idea of marriage that has somehow worked its way into my head.

"She's back in bed" Peeta replies quietly, he smiles at me and nods towards the table, "There is breakfast if you want it."

I glance at the table and can't resist the incredible looking omelette. Taking a seat I pick up a fork and dive in. It's delicious but I'm distracted. "Is she all right?"

He laughs gently. "She'll be fine" He tells me, "She's worried about Rory. She called Gale almost every hour since three this morning."

"Oh" I reply as I think this over. "You stayed?" The question was barely a whisper but he caught it. A slight blush crept across his cheeks and his eyes softened.

"I know – sorry. It wasn't really my intention. I had planned to go back to the clinic, but not five minutes after I put you in bed Prim rushed out of her room with a good dose of alcohol poisoning. To be honest I spent most of the early hours of this morning holding her hair back, making her drink water and reassuring her that Rory was fine." He explains calmly.

I instantly felt guilty. "You should have woken me" I mumble.

"I won't lie – It did cross my mind. But you were so tired and she…" He trailed off looking at me carefully. I can tell he is worrying about my reaction – he doesn't want to hurt me. "She begged me not to. Prim didn't want you to see her in that state, and, well, she told me that you haven't slept in a bed since your father died." He says, frowning at me, his blue eyes sparkling with concern. "Prim was adamant that it was some kind of miracle and that I was not to disturb you… I didn't have the heart to tell her that I put you there".

"Oh" I whisper. I swallow, not exactly sure what to say and find a chip in the dark floorboard to stare at. I feel the sudden urge to go drown myself in the shower, or curl up on the couch under my blanket. I am devastated that my sleeping patterns are upsetting Prim and I am anxious that they seem to be troubling Peeta. And the simple mention of my father's death brings a frenzy of emotions that I am yet to deal with. Oh I am all sorts of fucked up.

"Oh Katniss" Peeta sighs. He pulls me up from the seat, wrapping his arms around me easily. I fall into him, burying my face in his shoulder. It feels so safe and warm, and for a moment I just forget everything. At least until my phone starts blaring. I blush. The words to 'I'm sexy and I know it' ring out and an awful memory of Gale setting up a personal ringtone comes to mind.

Embarrassed, I pull away from the boy with the bread completely avoiding his gaze and run to answer my phone. It was my bag which I had dumped by the couch the night before. "Gale, you're calling from your home phone" I say through gritted teeth.

There was silence for a moment before he burst out laughing. "Ah – I work out" He sings happily before erupting into laughter.

"Hilarious" I mutter sarcastically.

He continues to laugh at my expense. "That just about made my day… please tell me you are somewhere public… or in a meeting… or with _your_ doctor." Gale laughs and I am inwardly praying that Peeta can't hear him.

"I'm at home" I snap as the blush creeps back onto my cheeks. For a moment I am furious… but I can't stay angry, "How's Rory?" I ask, letting go of the rage.

"He woke up early this morning, but he didn't last too long. They are keeping him pretty dosed up. I've come home to get some stuff for us all and make sure Posy gets to school." He says quietly, the laughter gone. "I was wondering if you needed a lift anywhere…"

"Why would I need a lift?" I ask, confused.

"Um- you don't have your car Katniss." Gale states simply in reply.

"Oh right" I say rolling my eyes at myself. "I think it's alright… Prim is staying home today. She's a mess, and I'll just get a cab to work."

I can almost see the grin on his face when he replies. "All right Katniss. Let Prim know that she is welcome to come join us when she is feeling up to it. And, say hello to Peeta for me."

The line goes dead before I can reply and I am left feeling embarrassed and furious. I turn to Peeta who is leaning casually against the wall next to the kitchen door. He has a small smile playing on his lips. "I didn't really pick you as a LFMAO fan" He ventures.

I scowl in response, adding both him and Gale to my list of most irritating people in my world. Of course they both pale in comparison to the Number One – Finnick Odair. "Gale says hi" I grumble, letting myself fall back into the couch.

Peeta chuckles and I feel my anger dissipate slightly. I watch him move around the living area quietly. He collects his coat of the back of a chair and pockets his wallet and phone which had been sitting on the side table. As he leans to pick up his laptop case I realize what he's doing. "You're leaving?" I question, not sure how to deal with the sudden empty feeling in my stomach.

He smiles kindly and nods towards Prim's room. I turn to see my younger sister standing in the doorway regarding us both with a giant grin on her face. I flush as her sparkling all-seeing eyes meet mine and turn back to him. "I believe that you have a prior engagement with your sister" He replies, his eyes kind.

I nod, trying to ignore the ache that just appeared in my chest. "Thank you, for everything…"

"Any time Katniss" Peeta responds honestly. He walks to me and places a soft kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you about that dinner – don't _work out_ too hard… I already _know _that you're sexy" He laughs making reference to the stupid ringtone.

I blush hard, losing the ability to talk and watch as he turns to my sister who, if possible, is grinning wider. "Bye Prim. Don't even think about showing up to work today, or I'll get Finnick to carry you home."

Prim flushes crimson. "Bye Peeta – I won't" And we both watch as the handsome man strolls out of the apartment.

We turn and stare at each other quietly. I don't think Prim has the courage to speak, and I just don't know where to start. Or maybe I do…

"Peppermint Tea?" I ask. She smiles and nods. The tea was my father's solution to everything. If we were upset, if we had argued, if we weren't feeling well, out came the tea.

The two of us head into the kitchen and I busy myself making the tea while Prim reluctantly tries to drink another glass of water. There is only silence and I suddenly wish Peeta was still here – he would know what to say. I sigh again.

"I- Prim- what were you thinking? You scared me to death last night!" I cry.

She freezes and the words begin to roll off her tongue. "I'm so sorry Katniss, I didn't mean to. I thought the punch was- I didn't know it had been spiked." She explains quietly, tears welling in her tired blue eyes. "And then all of a sudden I- I was all giggly and then things were hazy… and then Ro-ry." Her voice breaks and she throws her arms around me tightly. Her slight body shakes as she cries into the nape of my neck.

I hold her tightly, trying hard to stay strong. "You didn't tell me" I whisper, failing to keep the hurt out of my voice. "You and Rory – I – you could have told me."

"I know! I know. I'm so sorry! I've felt so awful about it for so long." She sobs, "I didn't know how at first, I didn't want things to change, things were finally getting better, I thought they were getting better, and I didn't want to ch-ange it. And then time just pass-ed and I didn't know how I could tell- tell you. I'm sorry, it was so stupid"

"You lied-" I whisper sadly. "Prim I need you to be honest; we only have each other here. If I lost you…" I shudder and tears spill down my cheeks. "I can't do it again Prim, I can't…" My legs give in and we both drop to the floor, wrapped up in each others arms, crying.

"I'm so – so s-sorry Katniss" Prim cries. "I love you- I love you so much."

"I know Prim" I say softly, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I know"

* * *

**_19:05 Friday – 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

"You're late" Abernathy states as I walk into his office. I glower at him for a moment. Yes. I am five minutes late. The cab driver was an idiot. Not my fault.

"Cab" I answer, even though he didn't really ask the question. I frown when I notice that there is woman standing to his side. I wonder if this was a meeting of some sort and if so, I must have missed the memo.

He scowls at me before nodding towards the unnamed woman. "This is Agent Johanna Mason from the FBI's Undercover and Sensitive Operations Unit" Abernathy tells me, introducing me to the spiky haired, brown eyed woman in the power suit. I search his eyes for a moment unsure of why I need to be introduced to _the enemy_. He knows that I am exhausted… and I don't have the time or desire to get involved in inter-departmental politics.

"And this is Detective Katniss Everdeen" He says to her with a small smile and a hint of pride in his voice. I soften slightly upon hearing it and grin inwardly. Okay so maybe I can put up with this for a whole minute longer. "And you will both be delighted to know that two are now working together." Oh fuck no, I take it back!

"What?" We both snap in unison.

"You heard me" Abernathy barks in his best there-will-no-fucking-arguments tone. He rounds on me. "Gale is out for at least this week, and he told me about this plan of yours. It's good – but I'm not letting that doctor, or anyone else you sign up for this, go in alone. And you are shit at undercover Everdeen and Mason is the best. You can hate this all you want, but you need each other."

"I don't need to be paired up with brainless here" Agent Mason growls "I already have a partner "

"Agent Blight has been told of these arrangements. I have been informed that he is being utilized elsewhere" Haymitch retorts. "Like it or not – you two are _allies_ so stop wasting time. Get her up to speed Everdeen and then get moving." He strides away and I hear the familiar slam of his office door

I stare at the woman opposite me with a scowl on my face. She mirrors my action and expression. "Well, this is bullshit" I tell her my eyes not leaving hers.

"Agreed" Mason says. The woman holds my glare steadily and I can't help but admire her resolve. All right so maybe we can make this work.

"Have you got one of those ridiculously expensive revved up FBI cars?" I ask with a small smirk.

Mason stares at me, obviously thinking over my change of attitude. She must accept it because a wild grin spreads across her face. "Sure do, want to go for a ride Detective?" She asks, a seductive edge to her voice.

For a millisecond I wonder if she really is trying to seduce me. I have to fight to keep the _very slight_ blush from my cheeks and I cringe when I realize that I will be working with the female equivalent of Finnick Odair. "I'll get my bag" I reply shortly.

As we speed through the streets in Agent Mason's sexy black Audi I go through the details of the plan that Gale and I made. She listens quietly and I am surprised when she finally offers her opinion.

"I'm impressed _brainless_" She mutters, using my newest nickname. "It's got merit – we might even be able to get some evidence to pin on the bastard."

My brow furrows. _"The_ bastard?" I repeat, placing emphasis on 'the'. As far as I'm aware there are no suspects.

"Oh yeah – I forgot you're not a G-man" She says, seemingly unfazed by her breach of confidentiality. I shake my head at the use of the 50's slang name for government agents. "It's need to know…" She informs me with a twisted smirk.

I roll my eyes. "I'm just hopeful that we can save a few more of these kids." I tell her honestly, changing the subject.

"Didn't pick you as a hero-for-the-helpless sort" Johanna comments, but I can hear the agreement in her tone. She wants to save these kids as much as I do.

I point out the clinic and she swings the car into a parking bay. "So is this Doctor going to manage to do this without getting me shot?" She asks as she opens her door.

I frown not exactly sure how to answer the question. It occurs to me that the reason for my confusion is that I really don't know. Heat rises in my cheeks; Peeta was certainly right to stop me – we hardly know each other.

"Oh shit" Mason mumbles and I notice that her eyes are on my face. "No way – I'm not taking responsibility for some angry little cop's_ lover_." She snaps.

"He's not my lover" I growl quietly, glaring back at her. "He's a friend"

"Right…" Johanna drawls clearly not believing me. "Still means I'll end up loaded with bullets if something bad goes down – sorry brainless, not my scene. "

"Fine!" I snap as I lose all respect for the woman. "Run back to Washington then, forget about these kids and the shit they are going through… oh and let me know how that works out for you – if I'm still alive at the end of all this."

"Ooo, feisty" She mocks but I sense something new in her tone. Do I dare to think that I just earned Agent Johanna Mason's respect. I stare at her waiting for her to make the next move. She turns on her heel and walks towards the entrance to the clinic.

I stare at her back as she heads towards the large glass doors. I feel completely and utterly lost. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm going to go marvel at the man who puts up with you, _brainless_"

* * *

**_19:46 Friday - On Route_**

I am thankful that we catch Peeta on his way out. I really didn't feel like I could tolerate Finnick Odair's torture today and I have an awful feeling that a Johanna and Finnick combo will be one hundred times worse than Gale and Finnick. _My_ doctor is obviously tired and I feel quite conflicted about dragging him along to help us. I really need to learn to call in advance.

Peeta kindly agreed regardless of how he was feeling and I felt that foreboding feeling return. He needs to learn to put himself first sometimes. I was still deciding whether or not to reschedule this when Mason started dragging him off towards the car. And now we are on our way and I still haven't made a decision. I resolve to let it go and tune in to their conversation.

"So don't you work normal hours?" Johanna asks, glancing in the revision mirror to look at Peeta who is sitting behind me. I'm surprised to see her being polite. I guess it's him; he does seem to bring out the best in people.

Peeta shrugs. "It's technically my day off but I skipped out last night so I had to stop in today to make up for it." He explains.

"You work nights?"

"I have been – we have two week rosters. I start day shifts tomorrow." He replies politely. I feel a smile tug at my lips. He will now be free in the evenings and I start to think of excuses that I can give Abernathy for a night off.

There is a comfortable break in conversation as we all stare out at the magnificent sight that is Times Square. The people, the lights and colors and the giant buildings… it never ceases to take my breath away. I really do love this city.

"So the Hob is what exactly?" Agent Mason asks, as we head away from the busy city center.

"During the day it's a pretty decent street market." Peeta answers, "But at night…" He trails off

"It's a meeting place for dealers, buyers, gangs, ravers, prostitutes and anyone other delinquent who likes to do their business under the cover of darkness." I finish for him. "I know that a few task squads have been sent in to clean it up over the years but they haven't managed to keep it safe. It is uncharacteristically overlooked by the council... I'm pretty sure that Organized Crime Bureau are always watching though."

"So what are these kids doing there?" Mason inquires looking pensive.

Peeta sighs, "Right in the middle of all that is the best shelter in town – good food, beds, and Sae, the woman who runs it, is especially kind to kids. They feel safe there."

"You've been there?" I ask, honestly surprised.

He nods, "Yeah, we get a few calls a week from Sae about some pretty horrible…" He trails off, his eyes closing for a moment. "We have an understanding… I go and help whenever there is something that requires more than basic first aid"

I have turned in my seat to look at him. I could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve this man.

Johanna seems to be having similar thoughts because I can hear her mumbling about _self-righteous doctors and brainless detectives._

"Well this should make things easier" I say with a small shrug trying to distract myself from the fluttering in my chest. How anyone can embody goodness and hope like Peeta does is almost inconceivable. And this amazing man has all but told me that _he loves me_.

"Hmm" Our driver agrees, seemingly distracted by whatever she is mulling over.

The built in GPS informs us of our arrival and she zips up over the curb parking illegally, two streets over from the Hob. Then, to my absolute horror, she starts pulling off her clothes.

"What are you doing?" I cry outraged. I can hear Peeta stifle a laugh and my eyes flicker to the rear-view mirror. I am silently relieved to see that his eyes are fixated out the window.

Johanna grins at me. "I'm pretty sure my current attire screams cop. I don't want to walk around with a target painted on my back" She explains as she continues to pull off her clothes until she is just sitting in her bra and knickers.

I am crimson, my eyes like Peeta's now fixated out the window. Couldn't she have done this before we left?

"Can you pass me that bag Doctor Mellark?" She asks sweetly. I groan inwardly and my eyes flicker to her face. She grins wildly as Peeta hands her the bag that was sitting at his feet.

My desire to punch her is placated by his bright blue eyes, which hold mine throughout the entire exchange. He doesn't seem bothered by her current state of undress; however, he does seem to find my reaction humorous. I move him up my list.

"All right Doc, let's do this" Mason says after changing into a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt. She pulls a wire out of her bag and tapes it under her shirt. She then passes me the audio surveillance device. "Emergency word is 'brainless'" She tells me with a grin.

I send the agent a glare before letting my eyes rest upon Peeta. I frown. I know the chances of things going wrong are minimal. But we were stepping into new territory. No one had ever got this far on the Hunger Games cases and we really have no idea what we are up against. I turn and catch Mason's eye.

"You were right before, by the way" I say to her quietly, my tone deadly serious.

She looks at me surprised, "About which part?"

"If you don't bring him back – I swear - I will kill you."


	6. Chapter 6

**The Reason**

Chapter Six

* * *

_A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and author alerts - they make me smile!_

* * *

**_20:01 Friday - The Hob, Hells Kitchen, NY_**

Agent Johanna Mason rolls her eyes at me before grabbing _my_ doctor's arm and dragging him off towards the Hob.

I glare at her retreating back thinking of how I could justify shooting her. Fortunately for her, and probably me, I'm not twisted enough to come up with a decent reason. It doesn't stop me glaring though, or wishing that the heavens would open and strike her down with a bolt of charged electricity.

It isn't until they round a corner and are out of sight that I realise that I am still half in, half out of the car, staring over the roof. Frowning I slide myself into my seat and slam the door, still angry at my temporary _partner_. I take a deep breath, grab the audio gear and work on setting it up. The focus brings calm and I come to the frustrating conclusion that her breezy reaction was warranted. After all, they are just intelligence gathering. It's not they are entering some arena where they have to fight to the death.

"_So what's up with you and brainless?" _

I groan and cover my face with my hands. For a moment I consider unplugging the device – at least until the electronically altered voices finish _this_ conversation. Surely that woman should be prepping him for what's about to happen rather than talking about my love life. It's not like he's ever earned a FBI medal of valour for voluntary risk of personal safety. And really, my love life isn't that interesting.

"_I'll let you know when we work it out"_

The words are followed by laughter and I feel relief flood my being. I really didn't want to be confronted by more emotions right now. I add 'What's up with me and the doctor?' to my mental list of things that I am going to discuss with the psychologist on Monday.

I scowl instantly at the thought of the Doctor Aurelius. The man had snatched the phone from the receptionist when the woman told him I was calling. He completely re-arranged his bookings so that he could "squeeze me in as soon as possible". His enthusiasm completely freaked me out and it made me wonder just how _interesting_ my mind could possibly be.

"_Well in the meantime I'll be your lover"_

I blink twice; did she actually just say that?

Peeta's laughter echoes through the car.

"_Honey – we only just met; and it won't work. Sae knows about Katniss."_

What? What does Sae know about me?

"_Pity… well then, this is your territory… who do you need me to be?"_

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Agent Mason didn't really come across as the sort to relent control of a situation to a civilian. I resolve to be a little more patient. Perhaps we could actually get along – as long as she stops giving me such a hard time. Lover… seriously?

"_We might just have to wing this… she's one smart old bird, so I guess, be prepared for an impromptu performance."_

"_Sounds like fun"_

_Fun_. I repeat the word silently a few times. She finds this _fun_. I try and think of the last time that I had thought of anything as fun. A very distant memory of laughing and dancing with my sister comes to mind. I bite hard on my lip in an effort to fight the wave of horror. That was the day we got the phone call from the police about the accident.

"_Come on, the Hob is this way."_

Silence follows and I find myself fixing a few settings in my phone (such as pre-set ringtones) as I wait impatiently for them to start talking again. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding when I hear Johanna Mason's sarcastic tone ring out from the small device.

"_Oh you bring me to the nicest places"_

I assume that means that they were now walking down through the streets of the Hob. This assumption is supported by the sudden increase in background noise. Drum and Base music was blaring from the nightclubs and I can hear drunken laughter as they wander through the crowds that line the sidewalks. My heart pains a little when I remember pushing my way through at age fourteen and I thank whoever it is that is watching over me for getting me through safely.

"_This way – the place with the bird, that's Sae's"_

"_Oh, wow"_

Smiling at the surprise in Agent Mason's voice I remember how the beautifully painted glass of the Greasy Shelter could take your breath away. The long frosted glass doors and windows were decorated with the image of a giant golden bird with wings spread out as if in mid-flight. It was beautiful.

The sound of electronic sliding doors and children's laughter alerts me to the fact that they were safely in the shelter. Relief rolls over me which makes me roll my eyes. I am getting way too worked up over this. It's just stupid… how can I have formed such a strong attachment in just four days?

"_Hi Sae" _

"_Mellark? What are you doing here boy?"_

I grin. Sae hasn't changed a bit.

"_Er- I need a word... if you've got a minute"_

"_Whose ya friend?"_

"_Crazy sister-in-law, Jane, don't mind her, she's come along out of convenience. I just picked her up from the airport – flew in from Maine – and we were on the way home. It will probably do wonders for her to get to know you though – she thinks all New Yorkers are idiots."_

I grin when I hear Johanna Masons indignant snort followed by Sae and Peeta's laughter.

"_I forgot how much I just love spending time with you, brother dear."_

"_I told you I would pay for a hotel."_

I am trying hard to stifle my laughter for the benefit of the old man walking past with his dog. He is already staring at me with the look of a concerned citizen. The last thing he needs to see is me laughing madly. He might just call the police on me. I grin at the irony.

"_All right you two. Come on through… Thom? I'll be back in a minute!"_

"_Right Boss!"_

Thom was not much older than me when I used to head into the shelter. We didn't go very often and usually it was only to get a meal, but when we did I would always talk to Thom. He was a lot like Gale and I found him easy to relate to.

"_So what does Jane 'ere do in Maine?"_

"_She helps my brother cut down trees"_

"_Ugh. I've told you so many times that they are all plantation trees."_

"_Doesn't make you any less of an axe-wielding murder"_

"_And you're a flippin' tree-hugger"_

I can almost imagine them giving each other exasperated stares as smiles tug at their lips. My mind marvels at the love/hate sibling relationship that they have created with nothing but words. And I suddenly know that Sae will believe them, because I almost do.

"_Settle down already! As much as I'm findin' this entertaining, I don't suppose you came out 'ere to talk to me about my current political opinion on logging."_

"_No… I didn't… I need to ask someone, and I really don't know who else to go to. Sae… what the hell are the Hunger Games?"_

Silence was his answer. I checked the device three times to make sure it was still working before she replied.

"_You don't want to get messed up in that boy"_

"_I- I think I already am"_

"_What? What have you done? That stuff, those games, is all bad Peeta… You shouldn't be getting involved, you ain't nearly bad enough."_

"_Sae- please – there's a child involved… she came to me for help"_

"_It's always kids boy! They always take kids for their sick little television show"_

"What!" The word comes rolling out of my mouth at the same time as it does Peeta's. There is no way in hell that they are airing the Hunger Games on commercial television. There would be an absolute uproar! So then… where are they being played? I frown knowing instantly that I would have to give the IT department a call. It's time to start trawling through the dregs of the internet again.

"_It's how come everyone knows that stupid saying… you know 'may the odds be ever in your favour'. Because they show it in the advertisements subliminally or something… bit beyond my understanding all that… but it's all just wrong… taking children and forcing 'em to kill is just plain wrong."_

"_Sae-"_

"_No. I already said too much. You are too good to get knee-deep in all this boy! These kids can't afford to lose you. You don't know what it was like before – when Cray ran that clinic."_

"_Sae-"_

"_Stop it! Don't you get it? You ain't the first one to come asking about the Games, all them do-gooders, they're dead now. Asked too many questions didn't they. The coppers found them with their tongues cut out and their bodies full of heroin. They played with them, like they play with the kids. You ain't done anything in your life to earn that fate… so you go home and pretend you ain't ever heard of the Hunger Games._

The sound of a door slamming echoes through the car. Questions are reeling in my mind. Who asked before? Who ended up dead? I feel a cold shiver run down my spine as an old blurry memory of Haymitch Abernathy and a pretty woman comes to mind. I chew on my lip as I try to put the picture of her back together while I attempt to figure out why my brain has connected her with my questions.

"_Come on then Brother dear"_

"_Hang on; just give me five seconds… I need to ask one more thing"_

"_You heard what she said… we should go…"_

"_Five seconds, trust me!"_

I am sat up like a cat, alert and ready to run. Why is Mason just letting him go like that? Why isn't she following already? I listen carefully noting the click of the door and the increase in noise. I can hear Mason's footfalls as she walks quickly after him and her sigh when she must find him.

"_Thanks Sae"_

I'm not sure I've ever been so happy to ever hear anyone's voice.

"_Come on then tree-hugger, you can make me some dinner"_

When they finally arrived back at the car the two were laughing at each other like old friends. Her hand was on the side of his arm and he was giving her a giant grin. Jealousy ripped through me as I gaped at them.

"This guy is a fucking genius. I have no idea what he's doing with you _brainless_." She says with a smirk and wink.

Oh that's it. I throw myself at Peeta and crash my mouth into his, kissing him full on the lips. I feel him smile against me and his laughter vibrating through his body. I run my tongue along his bottom lip, and he reacts by parting his lips, allowing me to deepen the kiss. Allowing me to show Agent Johanna Mason exactly what he's doing with me.

My hands rest on his broad, strong, muscular shoulders while his wrap themselves around my waist. I can't get over how warm his lips are, how incredible his tongue is against mine and I feel that hunger return. The sound of a car door closing prompts me to pull away. His eyes catch mine and I stare into the blue pools as they silently promise to love me. I blush as he showers feather light kisses over my cheeks and mouth, silently laughing at me.

"Jealous, Miss Everdeen?" He asks with a knowing grin.

Yes. But I will never, ever admit it.

"Never, Mister Mellark" I reply, attempting to scowl, but failing miserably.

We untangle ourselves from each other and I slide into the front seat of the car. Mason catches my eye and gives me a giant Cheshire grin. "That was hot Everdeen! How about you just pretend I'm not here – I'm told the back seat is pretty comfortable."

I think I might literally implode at her words. I have absolutely no idea how to react. A hot flush has spread across my entire body and my jaw is hanging open. What is wrong with these people?

"Just shut up and drive Mason."

* * *

**_03:40 Saturday - 1 Police Plaza, NY_**

Haymitch Abernathy sits silently in his leather chair as Mason and I recount our earlier exploits. His expression is completely unreadable for most of the conversation; only faltering when he hears the tape of Sae talking about "those other do-gooders". I consider if his reaction is evidence enough to raise questions about the mystery woman.

"You've done well" He comments with an approving nod when the tape finishes. "That doctor is damn handy with words."

"You're telling me!" Mason exclaims as she smirks wildly at me. "Good thing too – cause she's not"

I glare at her. I'm still waiting for that lightning bolt.

"Put the claws away ladies" Haymitch orders coolly. He stares us both down until we nod at each other politely. "So fill me in – how are we using this information"

"I've informed IT and they are searching the net for anything that could be connected to the Hunger Games. I've also put in a request for case reports on anyone found dead with the trait's that Sae described."

I notice his eyes flash with emotion as I finish my sentence. Hmm.

"And the FBI?"

"I've contacted Coin and let her know, she's asked our IT specialists to do the same. " Mason informs him. "She wants copies of the case files once we have them."

Haymitch leans back in his seat. He looks pensive, then worried. "Do we know what the good doctor asked at the end there, when he left you Mason?"

Mason and I looked at each with mirrored surprise. Neither of us had thought to ask. What did Peeta ask… and why wasn't he forthcoming with the information? Surely he meant to tell us and just forgot... it has more than sparked my interest though. What are you up to Doctor Mellark?

"N-no?" I stammer still staring at the FBI agent. "No we don't – I completely forgot"

"She was too distracted; Mellarks mouth is good for more than talking." Agent Mason tells him with her customary wild grin.

Haymitch Abernathy jumps out of his seat at her words. His jaw slackens and he stares at me as though I am some sort of stranger. His whole body is shaking with an emotion that I can't quit pick; it's unnerving.

"What the hell Everdeen?" Abernathy cries in both horror and outrage. His iron eyes are glaring into mine. I stare back in surprise, not entirely sure what I have done wrong. I probably shouldn't have kissed Peeta whilst on the job… but still... I don't really think it warrants such an over the top reaction.

He jerks his eyes to Mason. "Get out of my office!" He snaps at her, pointing towards the door. "I need a word with this one."

Mason's eyes dart between the chief and me. She seems to be having some sort of internal debate. I catch her eye and shrug sending the message that this wasn't the first time I had been in the firing line. I don't understand why but she seems to relax a little and nods at me before turning on her heel and walking out the door.

I turn to Abernathy who is still fuming.

"I thought all that crap that Hawthorne was blabbering on about was just bullshit!" He snarls. "How stupid are you kid! You don't get the people you are _fucking_ involved in our line of work!"

My mouth opens and then closes twice before I find the gall to argue; however, I don't get the chance.

"For fuck's sake!" He growls slamming his fists on the table. "You go around as the fucking ice queen for years and now – now that we have probably the worst case you will EVER work – you find some idiot boy AND YOU DRAG HIM RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF IT!"

"I-"

"Don't!" He snaps as he falls back into his seat and places a hand over his face. "Just don't!"

I stare at him in silence. My whole body is shaking with fury and I am ready to let rip. It's really none of his business… and it's a little late for him to tell me that getting Peeta involved is a bad idea.

"This will ruin you" He says so quietly that I hardly catch it. My breath hitches as he removes his hand from his face and I can finally see how miserable he is. "Have you even considered what it will do to you if he dies in this?"

A cold shiver runs down my spine and I am suddenly speechless. Inwardly I answer his question with a timid _no_. Yes I had considered him getting hurt… but no I had not considered that he could die. Sae's words drift across my conscious and I feel my heart clench. "_You are too good to get mixed up in this boy."_

"He can't die" I whisper, suddenly feeling exactly like the teenager that Haymitch had found all those years ago. My stomach is clenched, making me feel ill, and I am certain that all color has left my face. I slowly drop down into the seat opposite his desk feeling exhausted. "I owe him my life… he can't, I won't let him die."

He sighs loudly and pulls a bottle of white rum and two glasses out of the bottom drawer of his desk. He pours the drinks then slides one to me. I eye it warily but accept the challenge and try not to gag as the alcoholic liquid burns the back of my throat.

"This is my fault" He groans, staring down at the liquid in his own glass. "I just assumed that you, like me, were too broken to let anyone in. I should have been paying more attention. And I should have _warned _you."

My eyes narrow. I knew it! I knew the moment that Sae had mentioned the others that they were somehow connected to Haymitch Abernathy.

"You knew someone – one of the people that Sae called "do-gooders." I allege carefully, wondering if I was crossing some sort of line.

He nods silently. "Yes" He starts slowly, "Her name was Maysilee Donner. She was my partner when I first joined the force and my fiancé when she was murdered." The Chief holds my gaze, gauging my reaction. But I'm really not sure how to react… I don't even think the words have quite registered yet.

"It was just three days after I proposed that we were assigned to our first Hunger Games case. It changed things between us. I was determined to keep everything at an arm's length; my upbringing wasn't exactly ideal and I didn't want to connect with the kids. Maysilee, well she was the opposite; she connected with the kids and became obsessed with solving the case." Haymitch tells me as he refills his glass. "And the next thing I knew, I was in charge of investigating her murder."

"Haymitch" I whisper sadly. "I'm so, so sorry."

He glares at the drink in his hands and suddenly puts it down on the table. "It broke me kid. I was a complete wreck. And instead of trying to solve her murder, I got myself blind drunk. It lasted for months… until my boss at the time had enough and demoted me."

I give him a small sympathetic smile. "Seems like he gave you what you needed. Look at where you are now."

Haymitch shakes his head. "The demotion didn't do shit. I think I drank more." He says slowly. "No, my saving grace came in the form of a fourteen year old girl. One that pointed a shot gun at me and shouted at me to get out of her house…"

"I- wha- what?" I stammer.

He sends me a pained smile. "I was so drunk that night Katniss. I have no idea why I was even interested in what you were doing. I think I knew it was wrong that you were out in the middle of the night but I can hardly remember. Then suddenly I was at your door, and there was that crazy gun. It was the kick in the arse that I needed. I found purpose in keeping an eye on you." He states honestly. "You're the closest thing I've got to a daughter of my own."

We stare at each other in silence. My mind is trying to process what he is saying and I think his is just trying to get over the surprise that he's actually saying it.

"Why are you telling me this Haymitch?" I ask after a moment, because, really, it's the only question I can ask.

He's about to answer when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I smile apologetically before whipping out my phone to read the message. It's from Prim.

_I'm at the hospital – can you come and pick me up?_

My attention flicks between the text message from my sister and my wrist watch. It's four in the morning and my sister is at the hospital. I let out a small sigh and look up at Haymitch. "Prim needs a lift from the hospital" I mumble to him. It feels wrong to be interrupting our conversation, but I am grateful for the opportunity to escape. I have a lot to think over, and I am certain that I already know the answer to my question.

Haymitch stares at me tiredly. "Go on then" He orders quietly as he pours himself another drink.

I feel as though I should apologzse or explain or, at least, say something! But I can't find the words so I just run out on him.

I try not to think about as I rummage through my desk for my phone and keys. I find them and throw them into my handbag with my gun and badge. That's when I spot the files on my desk. My breath hitches and a cold shiver runs down my spine as I read the words printed on the front of the gold folder that sat on top of the file.

NYPD DETECTIVE MAYSILEE DONNER: CASE UNSOLVED

I glance at Haymitch's office then back at the file and make a spur of the moment decision. I shove the folder and its contents into the bottom of my bag and hightail it to the car park, ignoring the voice in my head that dutifully informs me that I am, in legal terms, obstructing the course of justice.

* * *

_**04:25 Saturday - New York Presbyterian Hospital **_

"Hi!" Prim exclaims happily as she jumps into the car. "Thanks for getting me! Gale says sorry he couldn't drop me off. Apparently Madge has his car."

"That's ok…" I tell her, giving her a half smile. "Don't you work today?"

"No" Prim says with a grin. She drags a piece of paper out of her bag and flashes it at me. "Peeta gave me a doctor's note for yesterday and today."

I roll my eyes at her but can't be bothered beginning an argument about responsibility. I understand her need to be with Rory at the moment.

She laughs at my reaction. "He's such a good influence on you Kat" She informs me chirpily. "Ever since you ran into him, you've been so reasonable, and pleasant, and so… _alive_. I haven't seen you like this since before…" She trailed off her eyes darting out the window for a moment.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Prim." I state, but as the words leave my mouth I realize that they are a lie. For the first time in too long I am feeling things, I am confronting issues, I am… healing?

"Even Gale agrees. He said that you are smiling and laughing again."

"I did those things before" I argue, but my tone isn't nearly as convincing as it needs to be.

Prim huffs but doesn't dispute me. "Just don't do anything stupid okay – I like him, and I think that you should marry him!"

I nearly crash the car.

"Prim!" I cry as I pull over onto the side of the road. "I am **not** ready for marriage talk" I declare, turning to look at her. "I will confess that things have been _different_ this week, and that _maybe_ I am sorting out a few _issues. _But I'm not even close to ready for… what?"

Prim is staring at me with her mouth hanging open. "You…" She starts but she doesn't finish. Instead, she throws her arms around me and smiles into my neck. I nuzzle into her hair smiling as I take in the smell of strawberries.

"What did I say?" I laugh, surprised by her reaction.

"Nothing, I'm just glad you're figuring it out" She answers with a smile.

"Figuring out what?" I ask, curious.

Prim grins instead of answering. There is a peaceful moment of silence before she speaks again. "Why don't we take some breakfast round to Peeta's?" She suggests.

"What makes you think I know where he lives?" I question with a poor attempt at a scowl.

"Don't try and play innocent with me" Prim laughs. She points at my forehead "Finnick happily informed me that he sent you to Peeta's with specific orders and you wound up with that on your head."

I groan inwardly. "Don't listen to a word that man says" I cry as I choke on the embarrassment.

"So you don't know where he lives?" She asks with a sparkling eyes and a knowing smirk.

I frown at her, feeling defeated. "What do you think he wants for breakfast then, Miss Know-It-All?


	7. Chapter 7

_**The Reason**_

Chapter Seven

* * *

_A/N: Well, this chapter turned out to be quite different from my original plan. I had intended to be far meaner… but it didn't happen. Never mind. So you will probably notice that I've added times, dates and places to all the chapters. This is mainly for my own benefit but I hope it makes for a smoother reading experience._

_Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I really, really appreciate the feedback!_

* * *

_**06:00 Saturday - Astoria NY**_

Peeta opens the door and greets us with a small smile. I am instantly disappointed as I look over him. I was silently hoping that he would be in the same state of undress that I found him in the last time I visited.

"Good morning" He says calmly, his eyes meeting mine. "How can I help this time?"

His kind question catches me off guard and I frown as I think of Sae's words and Haymitch's warning. I really shouldn't be encouraging him to help me; I don't want him to get hurt. My heart clenches at the thought and I appreciate Haymitch's worry. Now that Peeta is part of my life – I don't think I can survive without him. I frown as I consider the gravity of this.

My thoughts are interrupted by Prim who barges past me and holds up the white Magnolia Bakery bags so that Peeta can see them. "We've brought you some breakfast to share" She chirps, "Katniss' thought it would be a nice way to say thank you for everything you've done for us, and I agreed. If it wasn't for you I don't know what would have happened to Rory."

Peeta's gaze slips from mine and I watch as he smiles kindly at my little sister. "Well I can't say no to that can I?" He chuckles and he pulls back the door, ushering for us to enter. "Come on in. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I don't have too long. I start work in an hour." He says as he follows us through the lounge and into the kitchen area.

"Are you working all day?" I ask with honest interest.

"Yeah, I don't usually, but _apparently _I _owe_ Finnick" He says his eyes twinkling with mirth. "We close for the weekend at five today"

"I know you gave me the day off, but I can come in this afternoon and help out if you like" Prim offers kindly, joining the conversation.

"We can always use your help Primrose" He tells her with a grin. She glows at the comment and proceeds to make herself at home, finding plates and forks and setting them up at the table. "I hope you like chocolate muffins. They were freshly baked and smelt absolutely amazing. I know it's not exactly healthy… but I couldn't resist!"

Peeta laughs. "Yes, I like chocolate muffins. And I can make an exception on my diet." He tells her with a wink.

Prim laughs warmly before politely asking for directions to the bathroom. He points down a connecting hall and they discuss doors and turns before she walks away, leaving us alone. I will admit that I'm not exactly sure about this. I haven't come to any sort of logical conclusion as to why I can't survive without him and the idea is making me panic. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through me as my body selects the flight response. But my impulsive plan is ruined the moment I take a step back, and run straight into him.

Peeta places his hands on my arms and pulls me into him, so that my back is pressed into his chest. He rests his chin lightly on my shoulder and I can feel his warm breath by my ear. I close my eyes and try to breathe as my body begins to tingle all over… so much for running away Katniss.

"Are you all right?" He whispers as his arms snake their way around my waist. I can hear a slight edge to his tone and I am suddenly aware that he is worried about me. I smile at him, thinking about how peculiar it was to find that someone cared enough to be concerned.

"Yeah, I'm just tired" I lie as I twist in his arms so that I am facing him. His blue eyes sparkle at me and a small smile has graced his lips. He looks so gorgeous that I thrust aside all thoughts of running away. And as I push up on my toes and meet his lips I realise that this all makes sense… because without him I wouldn't have survived in the first place.

* * *

**20:05 Saturday – Mason's Black Audi, NY**

"Come on! Call Me Maybe? You have got to be kidding me?" Mason growls as we cross the Brooklyn Bridge in her ridiculously sexy car. I have been messing with her radio since she started driving, deliberately choosing songs that she doesn't like just to watch her amusing reaction. It really doesn't take much to piss her off and she is hilarious when she's angry – and completely harmless when she's stuck driving.

"Stop fucking with the radio Everdeen, otherwise we'll start taking your car." She snaps; her brown eye's leaving the road for a moment so that she can glare at me. I smirk at her as I once again start searching channels for sappy pop songs. I had just found Baby by Justin Bieber when my phone rang, ending my power game.

"There's been a nine-one-one call. Gunshots fired in East Village, witness said there's a strange group of kids arguing about killing each other… you're already late!" Haymitch roars down the phone so loudly that I know Mason heard the message. Her response time was impeccable; it only took her seconds to turn on the siren, shove the light on the roof and slam the accelerator to the floor.

I grab hold of the bar above my head and hold on for dear life as she completes a u-turn through traffic. "Fuck Mason" I gasp, my heart beating hard and fast in my chest. "You're going to kill someone."

"Got an address?" Agent Mason asks calmly, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she had nearly killed us both with her insane driving.

"Dispatch is sending it to your GPS." Haymitch answers in my ear. "Be careful" He warns before hanging up.

I watch the buildings fly by as we speed through the streets. The GPS is blaring out an ETA of one minute and fifty seconds. I doubt we'll make it. These things are usually over by the time we get the phone call. Still, if this is Hunger Games related, as Haymitch must suspect, then we need to try.

Johanna parks as close as she can get to the alley and as soon as she yanks on the hand break we fly out of the car. I pull out my gun as we approach. Apparently we made it in time. We take cover around a corner and listen for a moment.

"_Just shoot her already" A boy shouts angrily. _

"_I can't get a clear shot" A girl shouts back at him._

"_Give me the gun then!" He order's harshly._

"_No fucking way! You'll shoot me" She snaps._

"_Just give it to him already you bitch, we are in this together. He isn't going to kill you yet – are you Cato?" Another girl jeers._

"Holy crap" Johanna swears beside me in barely a whisper. "That is messed up! I don't suppose that we can stall them long enough to get in a couple of profilers - these kids aren't thinking straight?"

I shake my head. "They will all be dead or gone by then, but it's not that bad an idea" I reply quietly as I make a mental note to suggest it to Haymitch later. Surely the FBI has some geniuses that could give us some insight into the way these kids are thinking. This thought is reinforced when I tune back into their argument.

"_Why don't you just throw her up there – she can slice him up into little pieces"_

A shudder runs down my spine as Jo and I stare at each other, completely shocked by the girl's outburst. "This is like something out of that Lord of the Flies book" Johanna notes quietly. "Scare them enough and they won't know who the enemy is anymore."

I nod at her, my skin crawling with disgust and fear. "I'll try and get a look" I whisper and I shuffle closer to the corner in order to take a peek at the teenagers.

In the center of the alley stood a tall, good-looking male teen, and two teenage girls, one short with dark features, the other tall and blonde. All three of them were looking up at the rusty old fire escape above them where I can just see another boy seated awkwardly three floors up. I assume that he is injured because if I was him, I'd be using the advantage and running for my life. I duck back into cover and turn to Mason who now has her weapon in her hands.

"What's the verdict?" She asks.

"It's going to be really messy Mason... are you wearing Kevlar?" I ask in reply.

"Hell no – I like it rough honey" She whispers seductively while winking at me.

Ugh! "I'm going in" I snap choosing to ignore her comment. I throw myself out into the alley, my gun held out in front of me. "FREEZE! NYPD!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

"FUCK!" The muscular blonde boy growls his eyes alight with rage. "IT'S THE FUCKING COPS! RUN!" He yells as he does exactly that. I would attempt to stop him, but my attention is focused on girl who is armed.

"NO!" The pretty blonde shouts, her emerald eyes filled with fear and panic. Time slows down as I watch her lift her gun and begin to shoot. Before I know it I am tackling Mason, propelling both of us into cover behind a large grey dumpster that was conveniently located to our right. I scramble to sit up and press my back against the metal listening as she empties her gun into the alley. A scream alerts me to the fact that not everyone was getting out of this safely and I lean just far enough to assess the situation.

The blonde girl was stood frozen in the middle of the alley. She had dropped the gun on the ground and her eyes were filling with tears as she stared at the dark haired girl who was lying face down on the ground. I snapped my head back and met Mason's eyes. She must find panic there because she grasps my shoulder and pulls herself to her feet so she can take a look. I hear her gasp before she drops back down in front of me.

"Call for a bus… she might still be alive" The FBI agent says calmly but I can hear the uncertainty in her voice. Mason carefully stands, and steps out into the open, slowly approaching the girl. I move closer to the edge of the dumpster and change position so that I can aim my gun at the girl while I call an ambulance.

"It's going to be okay" Agent Mason calls gently to the pretty blonde girl. "We can get her to a hospital, she doesn't have to die here, not like this"

"Yes she does! They all have to die!" The teenager chokes, her body shaking. "They all have to be sacrificed, they all have to die, otherwise I will. And I don't want to... I don't want to die!"

"You won't" Mason tells her calmly as she slowly closes the gap between them. "You have other options kid, no-one has to die"

"YES THEY DO!" The girl screams and suddenly there is a long silver knife in her hand. I drop my phone so that I can hold my gun with two hands and watch in horror as the girl runs at Mason with the weapon raised above her head. My pulse quickens and I don't blink as the FBI agent grabs the girls arm while she slams her fist into her stomach, bringing her to the floor. I let out a small sigh of relief but remain alert.

As I watch Mason flip the girl over and handcuff her I catch sight of movement behind them. My eyes dart up to find that the other girl had somehow dragged herself off the ground and was picking up the gun the blonde had dropped. Trembling I watch with absolute horror as the small girl, who is covered in her own blood, points the gun at the unaware FBI agent.

"WATCH OUT!" I cry, knowing that the warning was too late. I pull the trigger at the same time she does. Her round misses as mine hits home and all I can do is watch as she crumples the ground. I run to her and drop onto my knees, desperate for her to still be alive. My hands shake as they pull at her, carefully turning her limp body. Oh god.

Her blood pools around me as I sit still, my hands pressing into the gunshot wound in her chest, praying that she would just wake up. I know that it's impossible but I can't bring myself to stop trying. At least, not until an ambulance officer pulls me up and pushes me towards the vehicle. I shake my head when he asks if I'm hurt. I see the understanding in his eyes… none of the blood was mine.

The kind medic sits me down on back of the ambulance, throws a blanket around me and leaves me to watch as they move her body into a white bag. I'm still staring when Mason finds me.

The short haired woman grabs my face with two hands and looks me straight in the eye, forcing my attention away from the _child_ that I had just _murdered. _"You had to Everdeen" She growls at me, her brown eyes stern. "She would've killed me or the other kid… you had to do it all right, you had to do it."

"She is just a..." I can't get the words out. I can't speak, I can't move, I can't even bring myself to cry. All I can do to keep me sane is to stare into Mason's wide brown eyes and listen as she repeats lies.

"It's not your fault Katniss. You had no choice. You had to do it" Johanna says over and over. "You know it Katniss. You know that she's just another one that _we've_ lost to the fucking Hunger Games."

* * *

_**21:54 Saturday – 1 Police Plaza, NY**_

"Hand over your badge and gun" Haymitch orders somberly. I don't look at him as I reach into my bag and pull out my badge. I place it down on his desk. I know this is routine as I had done the same thing last time I shot someone in the line of duty. The only difference was: the last victim had been an adult male drug dealer who had belted me black and blue.

"Internal Affairs have already taken the gun" I croak, my eyes focused on the carpet below my feat.

"Is this really necessary?" Mason hisses from my left.

"It's just procedure" Abernathy states. "It will all be sorted soon. We know what happened… it's all on camera."

I feel my mouth drop open in surprise but I don't say anything. My mind is too distracted by blood.

"What?" Mason cries, voicing my thoughts.

"IT Department found the websites that are streaming the games and we've been watching from here. The whole incident… you, Everdeen and the Kids… it was all aired. There is a meeting tonight to discuss how we are going to handle all this. We might have to put you both into witness protection." He says coolly.

"Fuck that!" Jo snaps angrily. "I'm not hiding! Those kids need help! Mental, physical and emotional help! And they need it fast. Maybe it's time we stopped playing political games and start ruffling feathers."

"And how do you plan to do that Agent Mason?" The chief asks. He looks slightly suspicious as he regards my temporary partner. I know he doesn't really like working with the other agencies. It puts restraints on what he can do and when he can do it because everything action taken has to be agreed to by all parties involved.

The short haired woman dangerously. "I don't suppose that Coin has let you in on the fact that the FBI is sitting on Hunger Games evidence that points to the Snow family."

I gape at Johanna while I slowly and silently count to three, waiting for Abernathy to explode.

"**WHAT EVIDENCE?"** He thunders his face contorted with rage. **"WHAT FUCKING EVIDENCE?"**

"Calm down old man" Mason snaps as she runs a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you if you are ranting like a lunatic"

"Who exactly is Coin?" I ask suddenly, interrupting the oncoming argument. For some reason my emotionally drained mind seems to think that this question is far more important than Haymitch's. If there is evidence pointing to someone, even if it is one of the oldest, richest and most powerful families in New York, why wasn't it being investigated? Why wasn't I looking into that today instead of shooting a teenage girl in East Village?

Abernathy and Mason suddenly turn to me as though they forgot for a moment that I was even there. I sigh inwardly knowing that I was going to get an answer to that particular question tonight. I drag my gaze up from the ground to look into Abernathy's dark grey eyes. They were unusually cloudy. "You need to go home Katniss" He tells me gently. "Is Prim there?"

I shake my head. In amongst the earlier mayhem I had received a text from her saying that she was at the hospital with Rory. I'm silently glad. I don't want her to see me like this.

"Get Pollux to give you a lift home then" Abernathy instructs quietly. The man looks conflicted about sending me home to an empty house, but he really didn't have much choice. Even if he hadn't had pressing matters to attend to, there wasn't another option. It would be _highly_ unprofessional for him to take her home. Even though almost everyone in the station knew that they had some sort of father/daughter relationship going on.

I try to give him a reassuring smile but fail miserably. "Okay" I reply meekly as I drag myself out of the seat and out the door. I grab my purse from my desk before heading towards the lift. On my walk past the office I just catch the pairs worried words.

"She'll be okay right?" Mason asks her voice laced with concern.

"I- I fucking hope so."

* * *

_**22:45 Saturday - Astoria NY**_

The young police officer, Pollux Anderson, was quiet as he drove. He wasn't really much of a talker, and I was too tired to attempt conversation. In a way, I was grateful for the silence, it gave me time to process what happened. And it also gave me time to think over my decision to give him Peeta's address, instead of my own.

At first the idea had been welcome, and then came the wave of anxiety which I had hurriedly reasoned was unnecessary. The boy with the bread loved me, he had said so, and I was certain he wasn't lying. So when we arrived I quietly marched myself up the stairs without hesitation. But now that I'm at his door, I'm once again having second thoughts. This man saves lives for a living... how could he possibly look at me, knowing what I've done.

"I had no choice. She was going to kill Mason. It's not my fault" I whisper my mantra desperate to stop myself from sinking into depression. It's all so wrong. I shouldn't be worried about this. I've shot people before. I've killed before. It is a horrible, but necessary, part of my job. Surely Peeta can understand that.

Taking a breath, I knock on the door and wait.

Moments later it swings open and I watch as the smile is wiped from Peeta's face as he sees the state I am in. "What the hell has happened Katniss?" He cries as he pulls me into his arms. I press my face into his shoulder and tears start splashing down my face. The tears quickly become sobs.

"Shh, it's all right now" He coos as he puts his arm under my legs and lifts me easily. He carries me through his apartment and into the bathroom. I hear the taps running and steam clouds my vision.

"I didn't have a choice. She was going to kill her – she was going to kills Mason… I'm so so-rry. Please don't hate me." I choke on the words as they pour out. I am desperate for him to understand because I can't survive this without him.

"Shh, Katniss, it's all right. I could never hate you." He reassures me as he sits me down on the edge of the bath and peels of my blood stained jacket. "Is any of this blood… is any of it yours?" He asks. I shake my head and he closes his eyes for a second, his expression relieved… then pained.

"I didn't have a choice" I whisper as I shake, staring in his concerned azure eyes.

"I know" He says as he kneels to remove my boots and socks. "Katniss, we need to get all this blood off you" He tells me calmly. "But I, I don't know whether to leave you… or if you want me to undress you."

Although I understand his caution, the thought of the man leaving now breaks my heart. "Please stay with me" I mumble, tears still rolling down my cheeks.

He closes his eyes for a moment. "Talk to me Katniss, tell me what happened, all of it, slowly. I promise I won't leave you." He reassures me once again. I stare at him unsure until he draws me into him and kisses me gently. "I'll stay" He whispers and he presses his forehead against mine. His blue eyes are filled with love and promise. After letting out a small relieved sigh, I slowly start recounting the night's events.

"Mason and I dispatched to East Village. There was a nine-one-one call."

At first it is ridiculously hard to concentrate on what I am saying. I am hyper aware of his hands which are slowly unbuttoning my blouse. A blush spreads across my cheeks as he slips it off my body. I avoid his eyes, focusing on the words that are spilling out of my mouth.

"There were four of them: two boys and two girls. One of them was on the fire escape, he was injured. The other three were working together like a pack of wolves; they were hunting."

I falter in my monologue for just a second when he pulls off my grey trousers. His hands brush against my bare skin sending electricity shooting through my body. I breathe deeply, losing my words.

"Keep talking Katniss" He says softly as he lifts me, still in my underwear, into the lusciously warm bath. All my muscles cry in delight as the water soothes their aches and I watch as the dried blood on my skin swirls into the water until it disappears.

"The pretty blonde girl went wild, she shot at us… but her bullets hit the other girl instead of us. Oh god Peeta, she looked like me. The dark haired girl could have been me."

I slip down under water to hide my tears. When I resurface, Peeta is sitting on the bathroom floor, his back against the bath and his eyes on the floor.

"Mason managed to arrest the blonde girl. And for a moment I thought we were in the clear. But the dark haired girl, I don't even know her name, I don't, she got up, and there was so,_ so_ much blood. She got up and picked up the gun…"

I watched the patterns I made in the water as my body shook. "I didn't have a choice. She shot at Mason so I shot her. The teenager who could have so easily been me, I shot her… and now she's gone."

"Katniss" Peeta sighs softly, his tone ever-so gentle. "This isn't your fault. You were just doing your job. We can't save them all." He had turned slightly so his beautiful eyes were on my face.

I let his honest words calm me. They are almost the same as Agent Mason's; but they mean so much more.

"I wish we could" I say sadly, a tear rolling down my cheeks.

"So do I" He agrees and I feel some of the darkness lift from my soul. In my tired mind things start falling into place. Yes I am directly responsible for her death, but if it hadn't been for the Hunger Games neither of us would have even been there. My guilt transforms into anger and I make myself a promise. I will _bring down_ the people responsible for this or _die trying._

Peeta stands and reaches for the white fluffy towel that had been hanging on the hook behind the door. He places it on the ledge of the bath. "I'm going to get you something to wear."

I sink back into the water and note that I feel slightly better. It had actually felt _good_ to talk it through and I feel so much better now that the blood is gone from my skin. I pull out my braid and let the water wash over my head, cleaning the dirt and sweat from my dark hair. Sighing, I close my eyes as the exhaustion of the physical, mental and emotional exertion catches up with me.

Peeta returns not two minutes later holding a large grey t-shirt with _NYU SCHOOL OF MEDICINE_ printed on the front of it and a pair of black running shorts. "They won't fit you" He notes, his eyes carefully avoiding me as he places them on cabinet next to the sink. "Do you want me to make you some tea?"

"No I think I might just go to sleep, if that okay" I say meekly.

"That's fine" He says. I am pretty sure that he is smiling. "I'll leave you to get dressed."

The cold air bites at my skin as I leave the water and I rush to dry myself off. Although the t-shirt is too large for me it is soft, clean and comfortable. The shorts nearly don't fit. If not for the draw string I doubt I would be able to keep them from falling down. I smile when I catch sight of my reflection; even though I look ridiculous, wearing his clothes is strangely wonderful.

"Peeta?" I call as I step out into the hall.

"In here" He calls back and I follow his voice towards a room at the back of his apartment. I step into the master bedroom and smile. The room was decorated beautifully. Soft orange tones complimented the creams and browns of the walls and wooden furniture.

"You can sleep in here" He informs me quietly. "The spare room is a bit of a mess at the moment and I really can't be bothered moving everything so I'll just sleep on the couch."

"Don't be ridiculous" I argue. I'm feeling really tired now. "That bed is more than big enough for the two of us. I more than trust you and…" I trail off. _I don't want to be alone tonight._

Peeta's eyes soften as my unspoken words tumble over him. He smiles gently at me and as I slip into his bed I watch him tug off his shirt and turn off the light.

In the darkness I curl into his arms and fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

_**The Reason**_

Chapter Eight

* * *

_A/N: _This chapter has been an absolute pain to write but I am really happy with the result. Thank you for all the reviews, favorites and alerts. _Enjoy!_

* * *

_**1515 Sunday - Astoria NY**_

"_Is she here?"_

"_Who are you?"_

I groan as the voices get louder and throw a pillow over my head in an attempt to drown them out. I really don't want to wake up yet, Peeta's bed is absolute bliss. It's huge and comfortable and safe… and I have absolutely no desire to face the day.

"_Is Katniss Everdeen Here?"_

"_Who are you?"_

Why isn't this pillow thicker? Why didn't Peeta buy thicker pillows if he planned to have arguments while I'm sleeping? I mean it's what? I take a peep at the clock radio's red numbers which inform me that it's three fifteen… in the afternoon. Oh hell.

"I don't have fucking time for this kid, is she here or not?"

Haymitch Abernathy's angry words cut through the silence. "Shit, shit, shit!" I mutter as I untangle myself from the silky sheets and quickly slip out of the bed. I hop across the room, partially blinded by the bright sunlight that is sneaking through the gap in the curtains. I throw open the bedroom door and clumsily make my way down the hall to the voices that are increasing in volume. Stopping in the doorway I watch in awe as Peeta calmly stands his ground against a furious Haymitch Abernathy.

"**WHERE IS SHE KID**?" Haymitch roars with a fury that would easily bring the toughest of criminals to tears.

Peeta just stared for a moment seemingly assessing the situation. "Are you drunk?" He asks slowly.

Haymitch falters, "What?"

"Look, I don't know what the hell you think you're doing but you can't just turn up here demanding to see someone without explaining who you are. I get that you have some desire to see Katniss_, right now_, but with everything that is going on in her life I'm not about to let some destructive drunk lunatic near her without some sort of introduction. So calm down and tell me who you are, or get out of my house!"

Haymitch shifted awkwardly on the spot, his face twisted in confusion. The poor man didn't seem to know how to react to Peeta's calm logic. I smirk as I watch him eye the doctor warily. "You are smarter than you look kid." He concludes after a moment.

Peeta raises his eyebrows as Haymitch offers his hand. "Haymitch Abernathy, boss, mentor and at this point in time, self-appointed guardian of the Everdeen clan… and I'm missing one of them."

The blonde relaxes as he shakes the shaggy man's hand, "Peeta Mellark" He states. "And yes, Katniss is here, she was asleep but…" He trails off as his eyes met mine.

"Hi" I say sheepishly to both of them. "I kind-of slept in"

"Slept in" Haymitch repeats incredulously as he looks me over with one raised eyebrow, noting my current attire. He runs a shaky hand through his hair. "Well thank god for that" He mumbles as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and disappears out the door.

Peeta looks at me for an explanation but all I can do is shrug. I am yet to completely understand the enigma that is Haymitch Abernathy. Actually I'm sort of anxious about the reason for his presence. I hope Prim hasn't got the whole of New York Police Department out looking for me. Not calling her was a major oversight on my part, but then I didn't really expect to sleep at all.

"Prim called your phone hours ago. I told her that you were here. She's at the hospital again." Peeta tells me, apparently sensing my line of thought.

I bite my lip. Hmm. So what is Abernathy's problem then?

"Right" Haymitch states as he re-enters the apartment, attempting to close the broken door behind him. "You" He says as he points at me, "Are going to go home and pack your stuff. You and your sister are going into witness protection."

My jaw drops and I clench my fists as the words sink in. "No. No I'm not!" I argue.

"Oh yes you are sweetheart" He growls. "It's all been set up already. You're being relocated tonight."

"You're over reacting Abernathy. I was on the job when I shot her! They knew that the police was an issue long before I got involved."

"I'm aware of that" He snapped his grey eyes stormy. "But the mastermind of the games has decided to make you enemy number one."

"How could you possibly know that?" I growl, "How is that even possible"

"They've made you '_the feast'_ so to speak" Abernathy explains coldly. "There's a fifty thousand dollar bonus prize awarded to the family of any tribute who manages to slay Katniss Everdeen before the end of the week. It's being broadcasted on their station"

"What?" Peeta and I exclaim at the same time. Our eyes meet and I'm suddenly furious. Why are the odds never in my favour!

"I suppose you better decide whether he's going with you too" Haymitch adds as his eyes dart between Peeta and me. "You don't have a lot of time sweetheart."

I shake my head slowly. "No, Haymitch, no, I'm not going to just leave. What if I go hide in the woods with the Marshals and one of those crazy kids finds me? What am I going to do? Climb a tree and wait for someone to come and save me? No way Haymitch, I'm better off here in Manhattan."

"Katniss" Peeta says quietly, interrupting a red-faced Haymitch who was about to go on the rampage. "These kids know Manhattan just as well as you do. They grew up on the streets... I guarantee you'll be safer in that tree."

"Listen to the boy Everdeen. You need to get out of here for a bit."

"I'd be much more useful as bait" I suggest as I burn with anger. There isn't much that I hate more than being backed into a corner. So my defence mechanism in these situations is to either argue, or offer an alternative that I can live with. Now all I have to do is convince this odd team that it was the best option. I take one look at their expressions and know that this was going to be no easy feat.

"No" snaps Haymitch

"It's going to draw out that pack at least. And I'll let you put a protective detail on me; I don't even care if you put me in a room with Johanna for the rest of the week… Come on Haymitch, I'm trained for this and we might be able to save a few more children."

"No Everdeen" Haymitch repeats coolly.

"Well then I'm just going to go on living the way that I do now. I'll just make sure I've always got a gun.

Haymitch looks as though he might explode. He isn't often that he doesn't get his way.

"What about Prim?" Peeta interrupts, his mouth twisted with a frown.

The question fuels the flames. "She can stay with the Hawthorne's" I snap my eyes locking with his. "She pretty much lives at the hospital at the moment at any rate."

"For someone who spends their days dealing with criminals you're being ridiculously naïve." groans Peeta. "Those kids are thinking _only_ of their survival right now. They have been assured that there will be no consequences for their actions at the end of this; do you really want to take those odds? Are you certain they won't find other ways to break you?"

We were both staring at him. Haymitch and I, staring, stunned. He might as well have slapped me.

"Prim can go into witness protection then" I argue weakly, but even as I say the words I know that it's a moot point. Prim would never go into that sort of situation without me, and I'm not even sure that they would take her if I wasn't going along with her.

"Not without you she can't" points out Haymitch. "The Marshal's Witness Security Program won't accept her if you refuse protection."

"Prim won't want to leave now anyway. She loves her life in New York, there has to be something else we can do... can't I work something out with the FBI?" I ask.

Haymitch's expression becomes completely unreadable. "No" He snaps coldly.

I stare at him for a moment. There is definitely something that he's not telling me. "What have they suggested?" I ask slowly, my eyes locking with his.

"I've told the FBI where to go regarding you. Coin's proposal is insane." He mumbles, "No Katniss, the best thing for you right now is to go with the Marshals."

"Hang on a second Abernathy" Johanna Mason snaps as she and Gale rush in through the open front door. Both of them were red faced and panting having obviously run up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. "You didn't even hang around long enough to hear the whole plan."

"I can't deal with that level of stupidity when I'm sober" Haymitch admits, his lip curled in disgust. "So'd she send you two after me?"

Gale shook his head, "No, Paylor did. She's not too impressed. I think she thinks Coins plan is all right, if we can work out the details that is."

Haymitch rolls his eyes. "Yeah but neither of them know _her_." He barks as he points at me. "She's got the charm of a slug and she's absolutely useless at lying. "

"Thanks for the vote of confidence" I mumble, seething. I turn to Gale. "What does she want me to do anyway?"

"Coin wants a display of strength to send the message that we are not afraid." He explains slowly. "She came clean this morning about the FBI's investigations into the Snow family. They seem to have observed an abnormal increase in donations and purchases of businesses prior to and during the last five Games."

"That sounds pretty weak" I note.

"Thus the FBI's reluctance to share" remarks Haymitch. The man is scowling and has haphazardly flopped into one of the arm chairs. He looks annoyed as hell that he hasn't managed to get his way and ship me out of here. I can almost see the cogs turning behind his ashen eyes, trying to figure out how he can convince me not to get involved in this mess.

"So why are we even exploring this then? And what the hell does it have to do with me and _dancing_?"

"We're exploring it because of the new evidence" replies Mason as she wrings her hands. "The Snows owns a multitude of streaming _Internet TV_ subscription services and an _abandoned _TV studio… one that had electricity use spikes during every Hunger Games for the past five years."

"Surely that's enough to arrest them" I reason suddenly distracted from my question. "Have you talked to Flickerman about this?" The man was the most capable and experienced lawyer in the team of District Attorneys that were available to the NYPD Detective Bureau.

Haymitch nods, "He told us that if we wanted to take down any member of the Snow family legally we will need to be practically swimming in evidence. _Coincidence,_ as he named our current evidence, is apparently not enough when faced with a team of the best lawyers that the _world_ has to offer. Not to mention the support the Snows will receive from the politicians."

"So raid the station. If it's the one that's producing the games there must be some evidence there" I state.

"It was burnt down early this morning" commented Haymitch gruffly. "An hour before our team got there"

"But that means…" There's a mole. There is someone in the police, or the FBI, working for the mastermind of the Hunger Games. My stomach twists in disgust at a person who could sink so low.

"Yes, that means." Haymitch growls in agreement as he rubs his temples. "But I already knew that. We've had this problem before."

"Another reason to go with Coins proposal" comments Mason. "If we're right in suspecting the Snows then it won't matter where she goes to hide. They'll find her."

Haymitch's eye twitches. "But it's fucking stupid. And it's not going to achieve anything. It's just a distraction, that's all."

"But if Snow reacts…" Gale starts

"He's been doing this for years. He isn't going to react" Haymitch argues. "And it doesn't matter anyway; we'll never get her on the invite list. FBI strings and all, those things are arranged months in advance. He'll notice the change straight away and have her killed before she even gets there."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Stop arguing this for me and tell me exactly what Coin wants me to do."

"She wants you to attend the "Safe and Sound Benefit Ball" that's being held tonight." Mason practically yells.

I stare at the three of them for a moment, by mouth hanging open. "That's all?" I cry. "That's what all this arguing is about…"

"She's using you as bait" Peeta says somberly, his voice drawing the attention of the room to him. "She wants the tributes to find you there and try something in front of Snow so that she can gauge his reaction. She doesn't really care if you live or die… that's why Haymitch is so concerned."

_My_ handsome doctor is leaning against his kitchen counter, a dark look playing on his features. Although he seems calm, anger is rolling off him in waves. It's the first time I've seen him express this particular emotion and it's unsettling. I glance around… his words had managed to silence us all.

"Boy's a lot smarter than you lot" Haymitch mumbles. "Got any other thoughts can make them all shut up?"

"A few" Peeta answered cryptically, but he didn't share anything further.

"Catnip" Gale says calling my attention away from Peeta. "I'm sure Coin doesn't want you dead. She's just desperate to solve this…"

"Yeah, because she has a political agenda and Snow is blocking it" snarls Haymitch.

Gale sends a pointed glare at Haymitch before turning back to look at me. "I think you should do this, you'll have a team to back you up and as Mason said, running away seems sort of pointless, if not spineless at this point. We have to think of all the lives at stake here, the children who are still alive and the ones who haven't been _reaped_ yet. You have the chance to be the catalyst that might just raze the Hunger Games for good! You have to take that chance."

Frowning I think of the desperation of the girl I had killed only yesterday. How she had managed to drag herself up in a futile attempt to save herself. Suddenly I'm drowning in bloody guilt. I run my fingers over the square plaster that covered the cut on my head, feeling a headache coming on behind it.

"For what it's worth, I agree" Mason adds. "That bastard needs to be pulled in line, and then given the needle."

I'm taken aback by her words. Not many people were pro- _Capitol_ punishment these days. I certainly wasn't, although if I'm sure if I looked hard enough at all the children he had had slaughtered over the years I might be able to make an exception.

"You know where I stand sweetheart. It's up to you what you do next." Haymitch said darkly as he glares at Johanna and Gale.

Biting my lip I look to Peeta who was the only person who hadn't offered his opinion. "What if the odds aren't in your favour?" He asks simply and an icy shiver runs down my spine. He sighs and his blue eyes soften ever-so-slightly. "Personally I don't agree, but I know you, and I don't think that anyone can convince you to hide now. So I suppose…" He walks over to the large bookcase behind Haymitch and grabs an envelope that had been haphazardly placed next to a bookend. "I had better offer you a safe way in." He finishes brandishing two glittery tickets to the Gala.

"I don't believe it" Mason says as she snatches the tickets from his hands. "You know that these things are impossible to get… even when it's not last minute"

Peeta shrugs at the spiky haired woman only giving her half his attention. The other half was focused on Haymitch who was staring him down.

"What are the odds?" Abernathy asked when Mason passed the tickets to him. His gaze drifted between the pieces of card and the man stood quietly in the kitchen. "Coin's going to think it's Christmas" He mutters scathingly.

"I'll go in with you Catnip." Gale volunteers. "If it's okay with Peeta, I will go in under his name."

"The FBI can get you any identification you might need." Mason agrees quickly.

Peeta cringes. "That's not going to work" He sighs. "Snow knows who I am" He explains, suddenly looking tired. Gale and Mason share a quiet look, frowns appearing on their faces.

"Does he now" Haymitch says, one eyebrow quirked. "You don't exactly seem like someone who would move in those circles."

Peeta shakes his head. "No, I certainly don't have much to do with him. He's a benefactor of the clinic. I've met him a few times."

"You'll have to go in with her then, if you are willing" Mason says after a moment.

Peeta nods, his blue eyes meeting mine. "I'm sure we can manage to protect each other if anything goes significantly wrong. And you all won't be far away I'm sure." He says with a smile. Our eyes lock for a moment and I once again find myself thinking that I don't deserve this man.

"I'll call Paylor" Haymitch says, suddenly getting up. "You are going to need to start getting yourself ready sweetheart."

"What?" I blush when I realize that the whole room were looking at my clothing. "Oh, right. What do I wear to this thing?" I ask.

Haymitch and Gale smirk at me while Mason gapes at my ignorant question.

"I'll call Madge" Gale says, pulling out his phone, "I'm sure she can help you choose something suitable."

"I've got a friend who is a hair dresser" Mason grumbles shaking her head as she pulls out her own phone.

Haymitch laughs, "You might want to give her a heads up boy. I doubt this one will know the proper etiquette for these things… you're in for a wild night… hunger games or not.

I scowl and turn to Peeta who had moved to my side.

"I wouldn't have it any other way" He says with a smile.

* * *

**1915 Sunday – Cipriani 42nd Street, NYC.**

When the door to the black Limousine opens I am overwhelmed by my current situation. I am about to walk into Cipriani, one of the most extravagant and beautiful venues in all of New York, dressed in an amazing red Louis Vuitton gown.

I still can't believe Madge's reaction to all this. She had insisted that tickets to this event _started _at two thousand dollars and practically ordered Haymitch to buy me a _decent_ dress. In her world apparently _decent_ means that the dress must cost more than my first car, and be designed by someone famous.

The dress is gorgeous. It is a silk mousseline multi-layered gown with a pleated front and a large red bow at the back of the gown has a cascading train. Apart from being the most expensive and most beautiful item of clothing I have _ever_ worn, it also perfectly hides my gun which is holstered to my thigh. I have never been so in love with an item of clothing and I really hope that it makes it through all this in one piece.

Peeta offers me his hand which I happily take (I'm really not great in stilettos) and he guides me out onto the red carpet. He looks damn sexy in his black suit with a red tie that matches my dress. I suddenly feel flustered and force myself to look around. There are photographers going absolutely crazy off to my left and I spot the director Gary Ross entering ahead of us. This is absolutely surreal.

"Are you all right?" Peeta whispers as we make our way into the grand entrance of the building.

I nod silently, completely distracted by the grandeur as we walk into the giant ballroom. The room is a stunning mix of towering marble columns, soaring ceilings, magnificent inlaid floors and glorious chandeliers. It is absolutely breathtaking.

"Do you come to these things often?" I squeak.

He shakes his head "Maybe two or three times a year. The clinic is partly funded by this charity though so this is sort of compulsory for me. Finnick will be here too tonight, I know he's not your favorite person, but it's always nice to have another friendly face at these things."

I nod and take a deep breath. It's important that I focus. I start to scan the room looking for anything out of the ordinary, and any members of the Snow family.

"That's Coriolanus Snow there" Peeta whispers suddenly, nodding his head towards the back of the room where a white-haired man was greeting guests. The old man seemed quite relaxed as he laughed with a round faced man. "That's Plutarch Heavensbee. He's the CEO of the charity."

"Peeta!" A gentle voice calls and we both turn to face Annie Cresta who, to my surprise, is hanging on to the arm of Finnick Odair. The dark haired woman is wearing a beautiful aquamarine dress and her hair frames her face in perfect ringlets. She looked absolutely beautiful; a perfect match for the handsome man.

"Hey" Peeta says and he lets go of my hand to give her a quick hug.

Finnick grinned as he pulled me into a hug. "You're on fire princess. Are you going to let him take that off you later?" He whispers into my ear. I am as red as my dress when he lets me go.

"Oh for goodness sake Finnick" scolds Annie, a small smile on her lips. "Leave the poor woman alone."

"It's not my fault!" He cries putting his hands up in his defense, "It is so easy to make her blush! She's as pure as a saint!"

Peeta takes my hand and squeezes it reassuringly. "She's perfect" He says honestly placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. It doesn't help my blush at all.

"You're pathetic Mellark" Finnick laughs as he claps Peeta's shoulder. "Let's find our table, order some of those fancy cocktails and hit the dance floor!"

"I'm not sure that the dancing starts till later Finnick" Peeta informs him calmly as we all follow one of the waiters to our seats. I shake my head at the gorgeous table setting. Obviously there has been no expense spared. Dark red roses, golden table cloths, crystal glasses and collection of real silver cutlery made the table shimmer in the glittering lights of the hall.

"This place is incredible" I comment to Annie who has sat down next to me.

"It is, isn't it?" She agrees with a bright smile. "I always look forward to this one. Last year it was held during winter and they decorated the hall with white and silver. It was so beautiful, but I actually think this is better. It feels so warm with all the gold and red tones."

"Is it compulsory for you to attend as well?" I ask, trying to turn the conversation to the relationship between her and Finnick. I was really curious. Surely she doesn't put up with that man on a daily basis.

"No, but I'm not about to let my husband come alone. He'd only get himself into all sorts of trouble."

"Husband?" The word is out of my mouth before I can stop it. "Sorry" I mumble sheepishly "But I sort of had him pegged as the bachelor-for-life type."

Annie's beautiful laugh rings out and she looks at me with understanding. "Believe it or not, he's isn't usually quite so crude. He only teases you because you're with his best friend and apparently your reactions are "classic". Next time just put him in his place. He needs his ego deflated every now and then."

"What?" Finnick interrupts his eyes darting between us. We share a grin. "Peeta, the women are whispering… this can only end badly for me."

Peeta rolls his eyes. "Remember how we talked about how the world doesn't revolve around you." He says with a smirk. "Come on Odair, leave Katniss and Annie be. We should go thank Heavensbee."

Finnick put two fingers in front of his eyes and pointed at the two of us, signalling that he was watching us before Peeta managed to drag him away. "I don't know how you do it" I admit, my voice dripping with honesty.

"Love makes you crazy" She replied with a shrug and a smile.

I'm not sure whether to grin wildly or burst into tears. How could she possibly sum up everything I had felt so far this week so perfectly in four words? My heart swells, and I scan the room until I find Peeta's bright blue eyes. He grins at me and I can't stop myself grinning back. My eyes flick to a smiling Annie. "I know exactly what you mean."

The night runs smoothly for the first few hours and once the food is cleared away and the speeches are over the evening's host Seneca Crane informs us all that the dance floor is open. It doesn't take long for Finnick to convince us to leave our seats and join in on the dancing. And unbelievably – I actually enjoy it.

Peeta is the perfect dance partner. He leads me with confidence and I pick up the steps quickly. "You're having a good time… real or not real?" He asks using the words from a game that Finnick had convinced the table to play during dinner.

"Real" I say with a smile. "Are you?"

"Of course I am" He laughs as he spins me out and then back into his arms. "You look absolutely transcendent by the way. You have the whole room in awe of you."

"You look just as good" I counter. I really wish I had his words.

"I'm not sure about that" He laughs and pulls me into him as the song comes to an end. His lips crash onto mine, lighting me on fire for one heavenly moment. I sigh as he pulls back causing a giant smile to grace his handsome face. "I wish I could freeze this _moment_, right here, right now and live in it forever" He whispers as he tenderly tucks a stray ringlet behind my ear.

"Okay" I whisper.

Then something happens. His eyes are no longer on me, and panic crosses his features. He pulls me off the dance floor and pins me against one of the marble columns just as the sound of an assault rifle firing a stream of bullets into one of the glass chandeliers destroys the happy hum of the ballroom.

"GET DOWN" A voice roars. "JUST GET DOWN AND SHUT UP!"

Peeta and I slowly slide to the floor and I quietly slide my gun out of its holster. "Can you see them" I whisper to him.

Peeta nods silently. "Five, all dressed in black. I can't tell if they are kids or not." He says softly. "There's a door way to our right"

My eyes flicker to the fire exit in the back corner of the hall. It wasn't far… but we would have to expose ourselves to get there. "Where are Annie and Finnick?" I ask, suddenly feeling responsible for their safety.

Peeta shrugs and presses a finger to my lips. His eyes are following something, or someone that must be approaching us.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?" A girl's voice yells

"I DON'T KNOW!" The original speaker shouts in reply.

I shudder. I'm about ninety-nine per cent certain that they are looking for me.

"JUST ASK YOU IDIOTS" Another girl screams after a moment. "YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES TO SHOW YOURSELF KATNISS EVERDEEN… OTHERWISE WE WILL KILL EVERYONE HERE."

My eyes meet Peeta's. Well there goes the remaining one per cent. I swallow. What the hell am I going to do?


	9. Chapter 9

_**The Reason**_

Chapter Nine

* * *

_A/N: I love this chapter.  
_

_*Important: The New York Police Department Emergency Service Unit is the name of the cities SWAT team. The unit is organized into Emergency Service Squads which respond to emergencies in different areas of New York (ESS)._

* * *

**21:47 Sunday – Cipriani 42nd Street, NYC.**

Peeta is already shaking his head, his blue eyes filled with panic. "Don't even think about it" He mouths silently, his grip on my arms tightening and his body instinctively moving closer, pressing me against the cool marble of the column behind me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath trying to ignore the sound of the imaginary clock that is echoing in my head. When I open them he has his closed, his head hanging forward in preempted defeat. He knows there is really only one option.

I take a breath, lean forward and kiss him full on the mouth. His eyes snap open in surprise and it takes him a moment to recover, to kiss me back. His hands move to cup my face and he pulls back. "Please don't" He whispers, pressing his forehead against mine.

"You'd go, if it was you in this position" I murmur softly, my eyes not leaving his.

"No, I'd…" His eyes suddenly darted away from mine his face alight with an idea.

Biting my lip, I follow as his gaze moves around the room. I'm not exactly sure what he is looking for and it takes all of my resolve not to just push past him and reveal myself because I am acutely aware of the count down. Tick tock Katniss, you're on the clock.

"See the door over there" He whispers suddenly, nodding towards the other side of the hall where there was another emergency exit, much like the one just to our right. I'm not entirely sure what his plan is but the door was quite a distance away and in between there was the dance floor full of people and a few tables. In other words it wouldn't be an easy distance.

"You're going to make it" He says, again surprising me by how in tune with my thoughts he is. "Even if this wire I'm wearing isn't working, Haymitch and Gale won't be far away. Half the guests have their phones in their hands and are sending texts as we speak. We just need time."

"ONE MINUTE" The girl yells, interrupting Peeta's calm words "ONE MINUTE KATNISS!"

I flinch as the words echo causing Peeta to give my arms a little squeeze and send me a small, comforting smile. "Get their attention… then run to the door. No one else here is worth anything to them, so they'll follow you. I'll help you, but you've just got to trust me." He says his blue eyes boring into mine.

"You're not going to do anything stupid are you" I ask quietly, as my stomach twists with anxiety. He smiles as his he shakes his head, his bright eyes sparkling. "Because I…" I'm interrupted by his lips which crush briefly into mine.

"Stay alive" He instructs, repeating the horrid advice that Haymitch had given us both earlier. He lets me go and I swing around to get a look at the room before stepping into the view of the masked delinquents.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen" I shout at the group who all spin to look at me. Actually the whole room has turned to look at me. I know their curiosity is warranted, it's not like this sort of thing happens every day, but their scrutinizing gazes are not helping me remain calm and in control. And I need to be calm at least; in control… well I'm not sure my pistol (which is in my hand behind my back) has anything on the shotgun that one of them five is carrying. Who the hell sells kids these things?

"What do you want?" I ask, listening as my question echoes around the room.

"You're Katniss Everdeen?" One of the masks probes. He sounds surprised, as if I wasn't exactly what he was expecting. That's when it hits me; they weren't expecting an adult to step up. The Hunger Games have always been about children, no one older than eighteen had ever been involved before. Hopefully I can use this to my advantage.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen" I repeat, giving the group my best scowl.

"But…" A girl starts, obviously confused. "But you're old?"

The snort of laughter escapes before I can stop it. The way she said it made it sound as though I was old enough to be her grandmother. "And you are too young to be causing all this trouble" I note calmly.

"I don't believe her – she's not Katniss Everdeen, just shoot her, we can search the room for the girl." A boy says from the back corner of the room. I recognize the voice – it was the tall boy who had run yesterday. He must not recognize me, or maybe he didn't get a good look at me before he ran. Either way, my odds have improved ever-so-slightly because of it. Speaking of odds –I wonder what Peeta is doing.

"You can't attend this event unless you are over twenty-one" I rush. I'm not entirely sure if it's true or not but I have to convince them that I'm the one they want so that they don't hurt anyone else in my name. Plus, I don't remember seeing any minors here. "I'm Katniss Everdeen" I repeat firmly.

"Well fuck." One of the five cursed. "What do we do now Cato?"

The sound of gunfire rings out. I instinctively drop to the floor, but I wasn't the target. A few screams ring out as one of the masked five hits the ground, blood streaming from the holes in his back. My eyes are wide in horror.

"I told you: **Don't fucking use my name**" The shooter snarls. My eyes flicker from the dead boy to the speaker whose gun is now trained on me. This one is way beyond saving. He was probably was some sort of psychopath before the games even started. I swallow, knowing that he is about to shoot.

"Cato?" The familiar voice rang out from the other side of the room. The boy flinches and turns to face Finnick Odair who has stood up and is looking at the shooter, his face clouded with confusion. "What are you doing kid?" He asks sadly. The interruption was long enough for me to get my thoughts in order and prep myself for the run I was going to have to make. I watched as Cato's free hand clenched and unclenched as he looked upon the doctor.

Suddenly, he let out a strangled cry and spun on his heel to face me. Time slows down as he lifts his gun, and I feel the adrenaline flood my body as it shifts into 'flight' mode. My legs began to move and I throw myself forward, running across the room towards the door Peeta had pointed out. The ringing from the spray of bullets that haven't quite caught me yet makes me move faster than I have ever done before. I jump over the people on the ground and use chairs as steps to get me over the tables. I cringe at the sound of my dress ripping as I leap for cover behind the marble pillar on the right side of the room, the one directly opposite where Peeta and I had hidden moments ago.

The angry boy shoots at it and the bullets chip away at the beautiful structure, showering me in dust and stone. I look at the exit, it's not far but I doubt I would make it now that the boy knew where I was. He has some sort of machine gun… oh heck. This is bad.

A large chunk of marble hits my shoulder, causing me to hiss in pain. I look at the door again, weighing up my options. If I run, I'll get mowed down, if I stay… I'll probably still get mowed down, but it will take a little longer… it will take _time_. _Peeta._

I jump out of my thoughts as the fire alarm starts screaming and the sprinklers shower water down on the room. It only takes seconds for the water to hit all the electrical equipment and for the bang of fuses blowing to follow. Darkness blanketed the room and the cold water running down my neck made me shudder, but blind, soggy and cold was infinitely better than dead. And it gives us _all_ time. Time enough for me to survive, for Gale to arrive, for Peeta to keep rescuing me and time for us all to save the rest of the guests.

Regardless of the fact that I can't see a damn thing, I know that the best option now is for me to move before everyone gets their bearings and their eyesight adjusts. I take in a sharp breath, my decision made, and I slip away from the stone column, heading for the back of the room. I will have absolutely no cover there but at least I can use the wall to guide me until I can see.

I know I should leave, but I can't bring myself too. I can't leave Peeta, or Finnick, or Annie in this mess, and there were all these other lives as well. I'm no longer certain that these children will follow me. Perhaps before, but now that Cato seems to have gone rogue, surely other plans are formulating. There can only be one winner after all. So instead of heading towards the exit, I follow the wall back towards the right side of the room, hoping to find Peeta back where I left him behind the other column.

It becomes apparent that this wasn't my best idea when all of a sudden the room thunders as the exits are all thrown open. I drop heavily to the ground as the Emergency Service Squad* barges in, weapons ready and spot lights illuminating the room. I spot Gale and Johanna amongst them, both of them dressed in Kevlar and holding some pretty impressive weaponry.

"Everyone stay down and remain calm!" One of the officers barks as the team lines up, shoulder to shoulder around the perimeter of the room.

"Remain calm. Easy for you to say" I mutter as I spot my pursuer on the floor next to the damaged pillar. Our eyes met and I shuddered as I watched him lift the weapon. _CRAP._

Against my better judgement I jump up and start sprinting towards the closest cover I can find, unfortunately that seems to be a good distance away.

"FREEZE" The closest ESS officer roars and I can see the snipers small red dots bouncing around on my skin as I run. "STOP NOW!"

Today seems to be all about timing I note as I skid under a table just in time to see Cato lift himself up and begin spraying rounds above me. I crawl out the other side of the table and hide in the half-light behind a well-placed stereo amplifier. I hold onto my gun for dear life as I hear the ESS try to take down the crazed boy.

"Take the shot!" One of them snaps and I cringe as the single _bang_ silences the room. Sighing I let my weapon drop to the floor and I stand with my hands raised.

"Detective Everdeen?" One of the team shouts.

"That's me, thanks for the…"

A body slams into me, and we both hit the floor, sliding back behind the amplifier only seconds before the gun shots shatter the giant window that I had been standing directly in front of. My rescuer grabs at me, picking me up and throwing me forward as more gunshots follow. I can hear the cries of the ESS team as they look for the apparently invisible shooter. My silver eyes catch sight of my rescuer's blonde hair as he drags me towards the closest exit, the shots ringing out behind us.

"Peeta" The word comes out as a breath. The room is full of police, and he's the one who comes to my rescue? I must have done something really amazing in a past life.

Pain rolls over me as we skid into the two ESS guards at the door and all four of us tumble out of the building and down the concrete stairs. I close my eyes as my body crashes about, not opening them again until I am lying on my back, winded and sore, with Peeta's heavy body on top of me. It doesn't take long till we are surrounded by officers all of them shouting for us to stay down, all of them aiming weapons at us.

"So, next date" Peeta whispers with a sparkle in his eye, "I'm thinking dinner… _at home_"

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

* * *

_**23:23 Sunday – 1 Police Plaza, NYC**_

Peeta and I had been taken to the hospital, declared all right and then marched to the precinct where we were dropped in Haymitch's office. It didn't take long till we were joined by the ESS Patrol Supervisor, Lieutenant Boggs, and FBI Executive Assistant Director Coin, both of whom were exceptionally quiet in our presence. I think my pounding headache may have actually disappeared, had Haymitch not joined us.

To say Abernathy was furious with this turn of events would be an understatement. He was absolutely raving mad, and it seemed that everyone was a target! I am certain that the whole building and perhaps the next one could hear him as he slated the stupidity of the plan and the actions of all of us. He screamed at Coin for wasting his time and using his officers, he yelled at me for not following Peeta's original plan and getting out, he thundered at Peeta for being stupid enough to risk his own life and he snarled at Boggs for not having any men that were as brave or quick thinking as Peeta. It took a good thirty minutes before he was done, at which point he sat down behind his desk and pulled out his bottle of liquor. He didn't even bother with a glass.

"What a fucking mess" He growled as he took a swig from the bottle.

The door swung open and a very young uniform ran in. "Sir, the media has got hold of the Hunger Games Case!" He exclaimed as if it was the most important piece of information in the world.

Everyone in the room threw him a preemptive sympathetic look before Abernathy answered. "NO SHIT?" He yelled, "GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!"

He rounds on me. "YOU and him" He snarled pointing at Peeta and me, "Are going into witness protection, no arguments!"

"Calm down Haymitch" Commissioner Paylor interrupts as she enters his office. "Let's not rush these decisions." The woman's authoritative tone changes the atmosphere of the room. She looks around, assessing the situation. "Have these two been to hospital?" She asks when her eyes land on Peeta and I. It makes me suddenly aware of my appearance. The ripped and smudged red dress, the bruising and grazing on my exposed skin, the dried blood on my forehead… I think I would like to go home now. Please.

"Yes" Abernathy snapped, giving her a condescending look.

"Calm down" She repeated, returning his look with a powerful glare.

I really can't help but respect this woman. She is intelligent and strong, and at barely forty, had taken on the top position in a male-orientated establishment. To top it off, she had proven over and over again that she was the perfect person for the job. The woman caught my gaze and her lips quirked upwards in a strained smile which I returned with the same strain. It hurt so much that I think my face could be broken.

The smile completely disappeared, though, when she rounded on Lieutenant Boggs. "Can you please _explain_ why one of ESS2 was shooting at this detective, and, why none of your men seemed to be able to react as fast as this young man?" She asked carefully. It was clear that she was livid, even though she didn't express it like Haymitch.

Boggs swallowed. "We're taking apart Officer Crane's life as we speak. As for saving Detective Everdeen, I can only suggest that in the madness things became confused. We are looking into claims that Crane was issuing orders that suggested she was the target which would have stopped my officers attempting to rescue her."

Paylor frowned. "I need a better answer than that Boggs. The media has got a hold of the Hunger Games tapes and as of tomorrow we are going to be knee-deep in it. New York will be demanding answers… that Gala was attended by the cities elite."

"Told you it was a bad plan" Haymitch noted, earning himself another death glare from the woman.

"Perhaps if you had expressed that opinion, rather than just running out on us we wouldn't be where we are now" She snapped, and then she turned on Coin. The snow haired woman lifted her chin apparently not at all bothered by Paylor's accusatory stare.

"I have been on the phone with your director. He would like you to return to Washington as soon as possible." She stated coolly.

Coin's jaw slackened. I'm not sure what she was expecting to Paylor to say, but it certainly wasn't that.

"You can't just cut off the FBI. We have watched this case for as long as you have" The woman argues, but Paylor was having none of it.

"And we won't be. Johanna Mason will remain here as the FBI's liaison. Your director and I feel that she has been vital to both the case, and supporting the relationship between the NYPD and FBI. He understands that your input is no longer required, nor will it be missed." Paylor affirms her brown eyes focused on the rigid woman's face.

Coins face curled into a snarl, but she didn't say another word. She turned on her heal and left the room. A single round of applause interrupted the stunned silence.

"Nicely Done Emily" Haymitch says raising his glass at Paylor. "Need a drink?"

My own mouth drops open when she just shook her head at the man. Surely she could fire him for that. Mental note: Ask Haymitch about Paylor. "I don't have time to, and neither do you. First thing tomorrow I'm going to need you two in your blues and ready for the best press conference you have ever given" She tells Boggs and Abernathy who both groan. She looks to me. "I would appreciate it if you could come along as well Detective, the press won't have quite as much material if the _star _stands in support of us."

I nod dutifully in response. I can do that, I'm very aware of whom the enemy is here – and it's not the NYPD.

"And I suppose we should be giving you a medal." She comments her eyes on Peeta.

The doctor gives the woman a sad smile and shakes his head. "I really don't need one, nor do I deserve one. My actions were purely selfish… there were plenty of other people who needed saving in that room…"

Paylor studied Peeta with an expression of surprise for a long moment. She seemed to be deciding whether or not he had actually said what she had heard. I understood her confusion – his words were really remarkable, and the motive behind them was always laced in a goodness that was so rare in our line of work. "I think we'll get a statement from you, if that's all right?" She asked quietly, making me smile.

Peeta shrugged, "If you think it will help." He told her kindly.

The woman smiled at him, "I'm almost certain that it will help."

* * *

**07:00 Monday - Loews Regency ****Hotel NYC**

Wrapped in Peeta's comforting arms, I had managed to get a half decent sleep, even if my nightmares did wake us both twice throughout the night. Both dreams had been corrupted versions of the last two days events twisted with ideas and memories. They bothered me, not just for the obvious reasons, but because I felt as if there was something significant about them, something that I can't quite remember.

I'm not certain how long I lay there trying to recall the gaps in my dreams, but when the light begins to peak through the window I decide that it must be time to get up. Carefully, I extract myself from Peeta's warm arms and sit on the edge of the bed, wincing at the sight of the bruising on my legs and arms. They didn't seem to hurt all that much until I stood, after which I couldn't do much but hobble my way out into the living room.

Commissioner Paylor didn't force Peeta and I into witness protection, but she did insist that we and stay in a hotel with a protective detail until further notice. So when we finished up at the precinct last night we were packed into an unmarked car with an armed team and brought to the Loews Regency Hotel. It is fancy hotel near Central Park and I when we first arrived I was honestly surprised. After our conversation, I was certain that we would be put up in a shabby motel, _not this_.

The four bedroom specialty suite is decorated with rich silk, velvet, mahogany and leather furnishings and soft, plush linens. It is beautiful, spacious, practical and functional; and has two exits making it quite a good place to hide. I smile and greet the officer who is sitting at the table with the New York Times open in front of him before limping into the kitchen and turning on the coffee machine. I don't particularly like the drink, but in order to get through this morning I am going to need a decent caffeine hit – and tea just won't cut it.

"Good morning" Prim yawns, stretching her arms above her as she pads into the kitchen. Unbeknownst to me, the moment that I Cato had opened fire at me on the Hunger Games channel, Abernathy had sent a car around to find my little sister and bring her to the precinct. Apparently she spent hour's playing cards with a prostitute and an arsonist while she waited for someone to tell her what the hell was going on. And when they finally did, she proved that she was related to me by ripping Haymitch's head off. I've never been so proud of her.

"Morning" I mumble, as I concentrate on pouring my drink. "Sleep okay?"

"Yeah" She replies briefly before her eyes focus on the space behind me. "Hi Peeta"

My doctor is next to me, examining the cut on my cheek, before I even get the chance to turn around. "Good morning ladies" He says distractedly. "How are we this morning?"

"Feeling rather grossed out actually, my dreams were tainted by BDSM and fire." Prim says offhandedly as she flicks through the room service menu.

I choke on my coffee, gazing at her in horror, while Peeta just chuckles, "I heard you had interesting company yesterday evening. I'm sure it was an enlightening few hours." He states so calmly that I wonder if I actually heard what I thought I did.

"Some people are just wired wrong! Though, it sounds as if your evening was much more exciting…" Prim notes, trailing off after a cough from an officer in the door way.

Peeta and I turn to look at the leader of the squad that is in charge of keeping all three of us safe. The middle-aged woman looked slightly sluggish, and had dark hair and bright brown eyes. Jackson, I think her name was. "Good morning" I say, knowing that she was here to tell us that it was time for Prim to head to school. The woman and I had sat down for half an hour last night and worked out a rough timetable for the next two days as we were required to have a plain clothed officer with us at all times, the only exception being when I was at the precinct.

"I know" Prim groaned. She was not happy about being followed around all day, but I didn't even put it up for discussion. I was glad that she didn't argue as she left the kitchen, heading back to her room to get into her school clothes. And I laughed when I heard her negotiating breakfast with one of the officers.

"I believe you're scheduled to leave next Dr Mellark" Jackson notes.

Peeta gives her a smile and nods. "Give me a couple of minutes and we'll be out the door."

"Of course" She replies with twinkling eyes.

After she leaves the room, Peeta's blue eyes focus on me, "Are you going to be all right today?" He asks his expression clouded with concern. "I can't lose you, you know, not now I've got you."

I feel a blush rise in my cheeks and sigh inwardly. I think I am going to have to accept the fact that Peeta is it. If I completely mess this up, which is highly probable, I will never, ever find another man who will live up to the expectations that my golden Doctor is instilling in me. I'll have to be a spinster, with thirty odd cats.

I respond with a nod. "I'll be fine. I doubt I'll be given two seconds alone so there shouldn't be much more drama." These words don't seem to appease Peeta who still looks worried. I step up to him, and kiss him full on the mouth. He relaxes instantly, his hands rising to my cheeks as his mouth moves against mine with desire. It's overwhelming, kissing him, because I can't get enough of it, I can never sate the hunger for more, no matter how deep the kiss becomes.

A quiet "Oh" brings us back to reality and we both blush at the tangled mess we find ourselves in. His hands under the back of my tank, while mine have managed to pull open most of the buttons of his shirt.

"I'll see you tonight" I mutter, breathless as I watch him redo the buttons on his shirt. He smiles when he catches me staring and a pensive expression graces his features.

"You know I love you, right?" He says suddenly, his eyes boring straight into mine.

There is some sort of timed explosion that goes off in my head and my chest at these words. Emotions come crashing down over me like a tsunami and my body turns into some sort of jello. I open and close my mouth multiple times unsure of exactly how to answer. "_Peeta… I_"

"I should have told you, a long time ago" He tells me gently, coming to my rescue. He tenderly tucks a few loose curls behind my ear as he speaks. "You don't have to say anything, but I wanted you to know… with everything that's going on… just don't ever think that you can give up, because I really couldn't live without you now."

I think a second tsunami just rolled in.

"Stay alive, all right" He orders, as he places a soft kiss on my cheek. He turns to leave, but I don't let him. To hell with emotions and words! I grab a hold of his arm and swing us together, my mouth catching his. And I kiss him with everything I've got, hoping that this one action will speak louder than any of the pitiful words that I could give him. My arms wrap around his neck, my body presses flush against him and he smiles against my lips.

Another cough, followed by a very quiet "Dr Mellark" brings the kiss to an end. I stare into his blue eyes as I chew on my lip.

"You love me" He whispers, after he catches his breath.

"Real." I say and we completely ignore Jackson's sigh when our lips meet again.


	10. Chapter 10

_**The Reason**_

Chapter Ten

* * *

_A/N: Well, it's long overdue... but it's here. I am sorry it's taken so long to post; this chapter is long and has been difficult. A big thank you to all those people who reviewed, favorited, alerted this chapter, and to those who pmed me!  
_

_Special shout out to Salanderjade - thanks for the feedback!  
_

* * *

**08:00 Monday – One Police Plaza, New York**

"Good morning girl on fire" Abernathy smirks as he drops the New York Times on my desk, the words _Girl on Fire on Hunger Games Trail _typed in bold along the top. Underneath is a full page exposé about the events that had occurred at the Gala and a giant picture of me with my red dress flying behind me as I ran across the tables. It was slightly off center, and the blur made it look as though the bottom of my dress was in flames.

"Crap," I curse as I open the front page to reveal more photos of myself and Peeta at the event. Whoever invented phones with cameras should be shot.

"I dunno about that Catnip, the officers down stairs seem to think you look pretty hot," Gale teases with a smirk as he joins the group. Haymitch chuckles as heat burns in my cheeks.

"I hardly think that's appropriate," Paylor interrupts calmly as she walks up to my desk. Both Gale and Abernathy look sheepish as the imposing woman gives them a pointed look. I struggle to hide my smirk.

"Nearly time?" Haymitch asks, quickly changing the topic.

The commissioner nods in response and takes a long sip of the coffee she is holding. "Did you both get your briefings?"

I nod quietly while Haymitch answers. "Yeah, anything else we should know?" he questions.

Paylor frowns and her gaze shifts to me. "I'm afraid that a lot of the questions will be aimed at you Detective. I'm not sure if you've read that," she said, pointing at the paper, "but the press have latched on to your struggle with the tribute, and the spectacular rescue that Doctor Mellark pulled off."

I look at the paper which I had opened but not had a chance to read. The second page was covered with a giant picture of Peeta pulling me off the ground as bullets hit the wall behind us. It is an impressive picture. I wonder how they managed to get that.

"The press have latched onto this like a child at Christmas time," Gale commented. "I read through the post this morning, they managed to put together a lift out on the previous Hunger Games Cases overnight, I couldn't believe it."

"It's always like that," Haymitch mutters. "Every time we are close to making a breakthrough on the case there is some media stunt that brings the press in droves." He pulls his hat off his head and runs his hand through his locks with an air of frustration.

"You think the game-makers are behind this." Gale surmises quietly.

Haymitch shakes his head slowly. "No, we _know _the game makers are behind this," he states, his tone hard. He rolls the seat from the desk in front of mine and drops down onto it, looking more and more tired. It must be hard, reliving this… watching me follow in Maysilee's footsteps. My gaze drops to the floor as I am flooded with guilt. Another reason to stay alive…

"We didn't expect it this early," Paylor reasons quietly. I drag my eyes up from the floor to find that she has moved so that she in next to Haymitch, her gaze locked with his.

"We should have," Abernathy states coolly, not breaking the stare.

"Yes, we should." Paylor agrees.

For a long moment, my two superiors stare each other down, unspoken words passing between them in the silence. I sigh knowing that their conflict has to do with the decision to send me to the Gala. In hindsight it was stupid, but there wasn't really any point dwelling on it. We have to move forward otherwise this case will never get anywhere.

My focus shifts and I begin to examine the information divulged this morning. If there is a pattern in relation to media involvement it is worth investigating. It would be good to have somewhere to start. My eyes dart to the picture in the paper noting again that it was a strange shot. How on earth did anyone get a photo from a high angle?

"The game-makers must think Katniss is a big threat then," Gale notes pensively, interrupting the silence. "If they are playing their cards early, they know we are getting close."

"We knew that the moment they announced her as the feast," Abernathy snaps, his eyes not leaving the commissioner.

Paylor sighs loudly and sits down in the seat next to Abernathy. "It was a bad decision Haymitch, I'm not denying it. I know how lucky we are, how lucky the detective is to still be alive…"

She trails off and I feel a shiver run down as I consider her words. She is right, the odds were against me; I shouldn't have made it out. Feeling eyes on me, my gaze wanders to Abernathy who looks away the moment I catch his eye. He features are riddled with worry and I feel a fresh wave of guilt crash over me. I think it's about time I learn a little more about this Maysilee whom I seem to remind him so much of… _damn_… where did I leave that file?

My thoughts are interrupted by a young officer who joins us. "Sorry to disturb you, but there has been a phone call from the media department, you should start heading down now."

"Thank you," Paylor replies and we all stand, collect our things and head quietly towards the lifts.

Nervously, I twist the list of permissible information that had been given to me on my arrival at the precinct. There was so much that I couldn't say that would surely be brought up. I make a mental note to never try for a major promotion… I never want to run a press conference.

We meet up with Boggs outside the media offices. He greets Paylor politely and acknowledges Abernathy with a nod. Then he turns to me and his expression changes to one of regret. I give him a reassuring smile and a small nod. Together we are led into one of the large rooms where press conferences are held. My stomach twists with knots as I step onto the small platform in front of all the reporters and journalists. I swallow and try to stand tall, my shoulder brushing Abernathy's as Paylor moves to the wooden podium in front of us.

"Good Morning," she starts as she places a careful collection of papers in front of her. "I am joined today by Lieutenant Haymitch Abernathy, commanding officer of the detective squad from Manhattan First Precinct, Lieutenant Boggs, Patrol Officer of the First Emergency Service Squad and Detective Katniss Everdeen from Manhattan First Precinct Detective Squad."

She pauses, and her gaze sweeps over the group. "At approximately ten pm last night the NYPD and ESS were called to attend a large-scale hostage situation at an annual fundraising event being held at Cipriani's on 42nd Street. A small group of heavily armed offenders stormed the building and opened fire. We believe that their intent was to take Detective Katniss Everdeen hostage due to her involvement in the current Hunger Games case."

At the mention of my involvement almost everyone turns to look at me and I was suddenly aware that cameras were zooming in to take my photo. I can see the men and women's minds reeling as they look me over, and I suddenly know that I am in for an interrogation. My nails dig into my palm. I never should have agreed to this.

"Thanks to the efforts of the Detective herself, the NYPD, the ESS and some brave civilians, no one was harmed during the incident, however, there was a great deal of damage to the venue. As for the offenders, one was shot dead by ESS officers during the event and we have two of the others in custody. One is still at large."

I have to fight to keep the surprise from my face. No one informed me that they had two of the offenders in custody, but then, I didn't ask. I suppose Internal Affairs are going to want me out of the loop now until my mental state has been assessed... that's when I remember that I have a psych appointment today. And I begin to wonder why I even got up this morning.

Lightly shaking myself out of my thoughts, I tune back into Paylor's monologue.

"We will now welcome questions from the press, however, please be aware that this is a **current and open **case and as such we will answer at our discretion," she announces firmly.

The room explodes with noise as the reporters begin their struggle for attention. Names are shouted across the room and the men and women wave madly at us, desperate to ask their questions.

The commissioner nods at a blonde woman in the second row, "Commissioner Paylor!" she starts, "Nora Abie, New York Times, you mentioned that this whole event was to do with a current Hunger Games Case. As you are aware, this is the first the press are hearing of this from the police. Can you please tell us why you have not yet released this information to the citizens of New York?"

"As you are aware the NYPD released a number of media statements in regards to murders involving children throughout last week. Due to the spike in murders and the time frame we began to suspect that a Hunger Games had begun, unfortunately we had no evidence to support our suspicions. As a result we chose not to release this information as we did not want to insight panic."

"Surely this incident could have been avoided if the public were aware of the threat."

"Is that a question Miss Abie?" Paylor counters coolly. I hide my smirk behind my hand, feigning a small cough. However, if the woman was taken aback by Paylor's response she certainly didn't show it. Composing herself she quickly reworded the statement into a question.

"Do you think that public knowledge of this Hunger Games may have averted last night's incident?"

"No. I don't. While Detective Everdeen attended the event as a member of the public, she was targeted because of her role in the case. The other guests at the event were not of interest to the offenders," Paylor answers. She motions for another speaker and the room erupts with noise once again. Carefully she waves towards an imposing looking gentleman at the back.

"Commissioner Paylor" He acknowledges with a nod, "Cameron Lange, the New York Post. Obviously the Hunger Games Broadcasts have just been made public by the killer. Can you explain why the NYPD chose to send Miss Everdeen to the event last night when she had been named a target by the game-makers?"

"As I've said already, Miss Everdeen attended the event as a civilian. We did not choose to send her to the event."

There was a hum of noise which suggested that the Press did not accept this. Their response isn't surprising, I was armed, and the response team arrived in record time… both signs that I was on duty. In saying that Paylor isn't exactly lying either. Technically I was there upon the request of the FBI, not the NYPD.

"That is… surprising. Considering the nature of the charities the event was fundraising for, shouldn't you have sent someone to investigate? "

"Do you have some evidence to suggest that the charities fundraising last night are somehow involved in the Hunger Games Case?" Paylor countered.

The man's eyes widen in shock. "No! But surely you can't expect us to believe that your detective was there on a _date_."

Paylor looks back at me, and then at the man. "Are you suggesting that there is something wrong with Detective Everdeen's appearance?" she asked, "because that is highly inappropriate."

The man looks horrified by the suggestion and quickly apologized then steps back into the crowd allowing the Commissioner to move on to someone else. The way she is handling this is nothing short of incredible. It really is no surprise that she made Commissioner.

As Paylor continues to answer questions about the case I scan the crowd. I have a nagging feeling that someone here must be messed up in this case somehow. They may not even know... oh, the mole. Of course, a reporter wouldn't ignore a tip from a police officer and by now, assuming that it's the same people, they would have established some sort of working relationship.

I look over at the representatives from the New York Times thinking about the photograph I looked at earlier. The woman who had spoken first was tall and beautiful with lovely olive skin and long dark curls. Her most striking feature was her smile which showed her perfectly set and impossibly white teeth... she must spend a fortune on dental hygiene.

"Detective Everdeen?"

I blink out of my thoughts at the sound of my name being called and try to remain calm as I step up the podium next to Commissioner Paylor whom, to my relief, stays at my side.

"Sam Blight, New York Daily News, as you already know the Hunger Games footage, including your altercation with four of the players on Saturday evening, has been released to the public of New York. We would like to know why you attended the Gala _as a civilian _even though a bounty had been placed on your head. Surely you were advised against this by the NYPD."

"The NYPD do not take threats against the lives of its officers lightly Mr Blight. I was advised that attending the event would put my life at risk; however, I was also advised that I would be taking the same gamble if I went to the drug store. It goes against my nature to bow down to the demands of a psychopaths and I had a date…" I answer with a light smile.

"Did you consider that you were endangering their lives of the other guests by attending the event?"  
I sigh inwardly. I know they are asking this because they want me to slip up and tell them what Paylor doesn't know. It's a good strategy really because I am hopeless at this. Thankfully, Paylor seems to realize this before I can make a mess of things.

"A risk assessment was made by FBI profilers. They believed the chance of children, no matter what their situation, were unlikely to attack a trained police detective. Unfortunately, the odds weren't in our favor last night." Paylor answers.

"What about Doctor Mellark, did you consider the chance you were taking with his life?"

I frown, frustrated that Peeta had been dragged into this already. "We protect each other," I blurt out before I think. I feel the heat in my cheeks as the man raises an eyebrow and I struggle to correct my mistake. "I mean, would you leave the one you love because there was a risk to your life?"

The man looks at me in surprise. "No, I wouldn't," he admits softly.

"Well, Doctor Mellark is the same..."

The room explodes with sound once again and another reporter is chosen. A young dark haired woman is chosen. Detective Everdeen, "Emma Twill, US Today"

"I am interested to know, what was going through your mind when the boy was shooting at you? And, how long have you and the Doctor been dating?"

I sigh inwardly. It is going to be a long morning.

* * *

**13:00 Monday – Fifth Avenue, New York**

Four hours later, Doctor Aurelius sits in front of me looking over his spectacles as I take a seat on the couch in front of him. He is twisting a pen in his fingers and has a clipboard sitting in his lap. I groan and try to mentally prepare myself for another round of questioning. The press conference had been mentally exhausting. As Paylor had expected I had been the star of the show… everyone want to know what I was doing there, why I was risking the lives of the citizens of New York, and a whole myriad of other questions about my personal and professional life. To say I hated it would be an understatement. I will never agree to attend one of those events again.

"Detective Everdeen, I've heard that you've had a busy week," the Doctor says with a small smile.  
I raise an eyebrow. Now that's one way to put it!

"So, tell me, what's changed since we last talked?" he asks. I can tell by his tone that he is deliberately interrupting my thoughts.

I sink back into the seat and take a deep breath. "Gale and I landed the Hunger Games Case." I tell him, even though he already knows this. I'm hoping my tone will give away something about how I feel about this, or maybe my body language.

"I heard as much. How do you feel you are coping with it?"

Meeting his gaze I take some time to consider my answer to this. I know a report will be issued at the end to Internal Affairs and Paylor; one that will determine whether or not I am fit for duty. I may be a little emotionally confused at the moment, but I am not crazy. And the squad can't afford for anything else to upset the flow of the case.

"The victims are all kids," I sigh, "but I'm coping all right. I just want to catch the… person behind this so that they can't do it anymore."

"It's always harder when children are involved isn't it. Do you feel closer to this… given your own experiences as a child?"

I blink, confused. What does he mean my own experiences? "I wasn't exactly a street kid. Times were… hard… for a while, but I was never driven to do what these children are doing," I reply.

His pen darts across the paper in front of him and I can't help but wonder if that was the wrong answer. I'm not sure what he thinks he knows about my childhood, but I'm certain that his information is wrong. There is nothing on my file about the dark days of my life, or at least, Haymitch had assured me there wasn't.

"What exactly do you mean by my experiences?" I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.  
The Doctor's eyebrows shoot up and his eyebrows widen. He picks up the paper and hands it to me. "It says in here that you volunteered for the Hunger Games a number of times as a child…"

My mouth drops open in surprise and I started to scan through the words. "What?!" I cry in horror. "You can't seriously believe this!" I snap, scowling at him.

"I didn't… I just wanted to see how you'd react," he said calmly. "How did the press conference go?  
Ugh. The man is messing with my head; fucking wonderful. "Stressful," I reply honestly.

"Because?"

"Because I don't like speaking about my thoughts and feelings," I answer, making the point that this session was just as uncomfortable. "And a lot of the questions were aimed at my personal life… I didn't really appreciate it." Doctor Aurelius raises an eyebrow and motions for me to continue. I groan inwardly. "You want to know about Peeta."

"Only if you want to tell me about him," the doctor countered, a smile playing on his lips.  
I sigh, "I'm not good at explaining this stuff."

"Where did you two meet?" asked the Doctor, giving me the help I needed.

I send him a small smile in thanks. "We've know each other for a long time… we went to the same High School, but I've only really got to know him recently. My sister works at the clinic that he runs."

"Have you been dating long?"

Dating? Is that what we are doing? "No we've, I really only met him when all this started."

If the doctor is surprised by this admission, he doesn't show it. He does unnerve me by making another note though. I shift uncomfortably on the lounge and start picking at the red paint that Madge had put on my fingernails before the gala. Maybe I should have lied. He probably thinks I'm messing up my private life by taking things too fast. Maybe I am.

"Are you having a physical relationship with this man?"

What the hell?! Can he even ask that? "No," I snap, my eyes narrowing my eyes.

The Doctor must have got the message because he chose to change the subject. "Tell me about Saturday evening?"

My gaze drops to my hands which are suddenly fidgeting nervously in my lap. During my hour lunch break I spent some time considering what exactly the Doctor was going to ask me and how I _should _answer. This was one I put on the 'I'll figure it out when I get there' list because I just couldn't bear reliving it in the noisy cafe. Actually, I'd rather not relive it at all. Not again...

Doctor Aurelius waits patiently for me to respond. I let out a sigh and begin from the same point that I did two nights ago when I retold the events to Peeta. "Agent Mason and I were dispatched to East Village, there were shots fired and children were involved. Abernathy intercepted the call somehow and managed to relay it to us."

The man nodded, indicating that I should continue. I frown; he must have read the report. Does he really need me to do this? I scowl, "There were five children involved, four had formed a team and were working together to kill the fifth. It was... wrong."

The Doctor wrote a few notes before peering at me over his glasses again. "It sounds more than wrong Katniss..." he prompts.

I frown, "it was. I don't know how to describe it... Mason used the term "fucked-up" which is probably better. "The creases on his forehead alert me that I haven't exactly replied in the way that he wanted me to. Maybe I should cry but it's not in my nature to let down my walls. That makes me look weak. I've only ever shown that side of myself to Peeta. I guess he's the only one I trust not to use it against me.

"According to the report when you showed yourselves, the children reacted quite erratically," he says.

I am tempted to follow Paylor's example and tell him it's not a question, but I think better of it. "One of the pack ran, the boy... Cato, he was the one who came after me last night."

The man nods and waits again. It's infuriating, the silence, because I know it is a deliberate action made to encourage me to talk. And I hate it.

"A girl started to shoot, she didn't really know what she was doing, but I ran at Mason and we both ducked behind a dumpster. I guess we were lucky..."

"It says in Agent Mason's report that you threw yourself at her and took her with you, in an attempt to save her life." Doctor Aurelius comments carefully. He is studying me, probably looking again for a certain reaction. I think it's pretty clear that I am going to fail this test.

I swallow nervously, "I, I don't know about that, she wasn't far away from the dumpster. I think I just reacted first."

The doctor sighed. "You're going to play this down again. This is the second time you put your life on the line for someone else. Internal Affairs are going to ask the hard questions..."

"I don't plan to off myself," I say, my eyes shooting up from the carpet to meet his. "There are too many reasons..." I regret saying it as soon as it comes out of my mouth. The one rule I made when I was thinking about this meeting during lunch was not to mention that list. I have a feeling it won't go down well because keeping a list of reasons to keep living is not a sign of a healthy mind. And I doubt that I will be able to explain that this list was a huge improvement, seeing as the old one was hardly a list, and was purely about survival.

"Reasons?" he asks straight away, leaping on my slip up. I could almost feel the enthusiasm rolling off him, as though this was some kind of breakthrough. He shouldn't get so excited; I've never shared the list with the people I do trust... I'm not about to open up about this to him.

"It's nothing," I say with a shrug. Disappointment clouds his eyes and he seems to debate whether or not to push me on it. I know he won't. He learned during my last appointment that pressing for information only made me shut him out. I spent the second half of our last meeting defiantly silent. I was actually surprised when I was told that he had reported me as fit for work.

I watched as he wrote 'reasons' in my file and then shuffled through the collection of papers and pulled out a stapled booklet that looked like a copy of a police report. "What happened, after the girl started shooting," he asked as he flicked through it.

"She accidentally shot her... friend..." I trail off wondering for a moment if the two girls had considered each other friends, "ally, maybe, but the second girl was really hurt. I called for an ambulance while Mason approached the other girl and managed to take her down. Then the injured child picked up the gun..." I trail off as the image of the dark haired teen, blood soaking through her clothes, lifting the gun flashes before my eyes. I will never know if she was aiming for Mason or the other girl, or if she had planned to shoot at all. I close my eyes for a moment and bring my hand to my forehead, suddenly feeling a headache coming on. "I shot her."

"Why did you shoot her Detective?" he asks quietly.

"Because she was going to shoot Mason, or the other girl, because I had to," I say, repeating the words that Mason had given me that night.

"Is Agent Mason one of the reasons you mentioned earlier?" he probes

"Not really," I answer. The question catches me off guard. I suppose if we continue to work together, she might be another reason. Even though she often drives me mad, I can't help but respect her. She's a good agent, and I have no doubt she would make a good friend.

"But Peeta is..." he prompts.

I am so surprised by the comment that I hurt my neck when my head snaps up to look at him. "Wha- what?" I stutter, as I go back through our conversation, trying to figure out how we have got to this point.

"Is he the only reason you haven't killed yourself yet?"

I scowl at him. "What! No! It's not like that!" I snap indignantly, "it's not about being alive or dead!" What is he doing? Why is he pushing this? What does he want to know?

"Detective, what you've been through this week would push anyone to the edge. It's not surprising that you have latched on to this man, but do you think it's fair on him for you to do this. He obviously cares for you enough to risk his life to protect you, what if something was happen to him? Would would you do?"

"What?" I asked. My body was shaking with fury... and fear. Fury because this is not what I want! Why did I even make this fucking appointment! And fear because it sounds so right. It was exactly why I let no one in, why Peeta was the only one who had glimpsed beyond my walls since my father died in the accident. I don't take risks with my heart... or I didn't... until Peeta snuck up on me. Now I will be damaged beyond repair if anything were to happen to him.

"You're dealing with someone who kills children for entertainment. They have ordered those children to kill you. He has already stepped between you and catastrophe once. What if he does it again and this time doesn't walk away? Can you live with that? Will you forgive yourself if it happens?"

All of a sudden, I realize that I can't do this. So I stand up and without a word, walk out the door before I can do something stupid... like cry.

* * *

_**15:00 Monday - Astoria NY**_

I was so desperate for air and space I didn't even look for Jackson when I reached the lobby, instead rushing out the doors and on to the busy city streets. I caught the first cab I saw to Central Park then followed the winding ivory footpath around the entire park in a sort of daze. The psychiatrist's words were set on repeat in my head and no matter which way I twisted them, I always ended up with the same answer. And it was the wrong one.

In the end, I decided to stop thinking about the day and I turned my efforts into figuring out where I had left Maysilee's file. That was how I ended up where I am now, standing in the living room of Peeta's quiet apartment.

After searching through the living space, bedroom and bathroom to no avail, I start opening doors and peeking into the other rooms in the house. Snooping would be an accurate word to describe what I'm doing. I suppose I should feel guilty, but I don't, or at least I wasn't until I threw the open the door of the room at the end of the hall.

It was a small art studio and there were paintings and drawings absolutely everywhere. And they were nothing short of beautiful.

Color, people, hope, heart, life, feeling, beauty, love were just some of the words that could be used to describe what I can see. It was as if he had somehow captured everything real in the world using delicate brush strokes and careful pencil contours. I feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks and my legs threaten to give way when I realize... this is how he sees the world.

I take an uncertain step into the room and look from painting to painting. The sea at sunset, children playing on a swing-set, a dancer moving, a couple's picnic in the park, fireworks exploding, a baby wrapped in its mother's arms, an ice skater spinning, two lovers surprised by mistletoe, and so, so many more. And every single one perfectly portrayed the emotion of the moment.

I'm not sure how long I was standing there before I found one of me. At first I didn't realize, I was so captured by the detail in the image. Looking at the painting was like looking through a window into a school room filled with children. Some of them were staring out the window, a few were fidgeting with or chewing on their pencils, one was secretly passing a note to another and two children in the back were whispering. At the front of the room was a little girl in a red dress, her hair in two braids and she was standing on a chair with her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open.

It was me, it was the girl I was all those years ago before my father died, before the world tainted me. It was my first day of elementary school, when the teacher asked who would sing for the class. I reach out to touch it, but fall short when I notice the boy sitting in the second last row. His head was leaning on his hand and his blue eyes were focused on the little girl at the front of the class. I part my lips in surprise realizing there and then just how long Peeta Mellark had been in love with me.

"Katniss?" The sound of my name made me jump and I whirled around to face the speaker. Peeta was frozen in the doorway his face a mixture of confusion and uncertainty. "Do I need to apologize?" He asks quietly after a moment of silence.

I gape at him, "for what?"

A blush colored his cheeks. "For the painting," he explains motioning towards the picture I was just looking at.

"Oh, no…" I mumble, once again failing to find the right words.

"I, I painted it a long time ago," he says slowly his eyes on the floor.

I glance at the picture and back at him. I suppose he's right to be worried, had I been faced with this a week ago I would be out the door and running. The absolute dedication and devotion that the painting revealed was frightening, but it was also so very Peeta and I only ever felt safe with him. And I have spent all day dreading letting him go... I don't have the energy or desire to push him away.

Peeta's brilliant blue eyes widened slightly when I closed the distance between us, and slipped my arms around his waist. "It's beautiful... they are all beautiful Peeta," I say softly. He closes his arms around me and I relish in the safety and comfort they offer.

"You've caused absolute mayhem you know, running off like that," he whispers into my hair.

I shrug, it won't be the first time, and it probably won't be the last. I don't do well in cages.

"You had me worried..." He says as he pulls back slightly. His sapphire eyes stare earnestly into mine and he fingers the end of my braid.

"I'm fine."

Peeta shook his head, a small smile lighting up his eyes. "I can see that, but you didn't answer your phone, how were we supposed to know? You do have a giant target painted on your back. The commissioner and Abernathy are not... coping."

A laugh escapes my lips at his choice of words causing him to raise an eyebrow. It's strange how effective the simple gesture is, because I am all of a sudden aware of the stress I must have caused in my absence. "I'm sorry," I sigh, "I don't really think before I do these things." I lean into him and tighten my grip around him, dreading the moment when I will have to let go. Doctor Aurelius' words come to mind and I close my eyes knowing it was already too late. Letting him go would hurt just as much as losing him. I'll just have to protect him, and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid while protecting me.

"Peeta?" I whisper.

"Hmm."

"Stay with me?" I ask. I can tell by the way that he looks at me that he knows what I mean. I suppose I am giving him the chance to leave, to say that the odds of him getting hurt in all this were too high. I'm not winning any awards with my sullen and hostile personality either... but when he answers in the next breath, without even thinking, I know that he is just as a much of a goner as I am.

"Always"


End file.
